Red Sox Nation: Get to Know the Revolution!

By now, you may have heard of some soccer player named David Beckham coming to town this weekend. If you haven't bought tickets for Sunday's L.A. Galaxy-Revs match at Gillette Stadium, well then, you'll have to catch it on TV38 because the game is sold out. Nevertheless, should your interest be piqued by the glamour and glitz or the bending banana kicks of Mr. Beckham, here is a cheat sheet for those of you who know the Red Sox, but may not know much about the New England Revolution (colloquially known as "the Revs").

Back to Beckham: He's kind of a big deal in the world of soccer, and although he's not the best player in the world, he's certainly the most popular, with numerous global brands attached to his very likeness. In jest, he is called "Mr. Posh" after his wife, the high-heeled and large sunglasses-sporting former Spice Girl, Victoria Beckham, who you may have also heard of at some point as well.

But, if that's all you know about soccer, then you are in luck. If you're familiar with other team sports- say, the Boston Red Sox - but are new to soccer, then you may have some trouble getting to know the lads chanted and cheered for by soccer fans across New England.

Now if you are indeed member of Red Sox Nation and wish to see what all the fuss is about, the stars are aligned for a perfect afternoon and evening: the Sox are playing at 1:35pm in Baltimore, thus allowing plenty of time for you to mow the lawn, mix some lemonade, give the dog that bath you've been putting off all summer, and still have time to catch the 7:00pm start for the Revs and Galaxy game. So after the Sox play nine against the O's in the early afternoon, you are personally welcomed to take a gander at our sport. After all, it is the world's game. And lucky you - it’s played professionally right in your own backyard by one of the best clubs in Major League Soccer!

So without further ado, in order to better educate you on some of the more notable Revolution players, the following is some crude, yet somewhat insightful (hopefully) comparisons between some notable Red Sox players and some notable Revolution players.

Taylor Twellman is Manny Ramirez. Twellman (#20) is a forward (also known as a “striker”), and his primary responsibility is quite simple: to put the ball in the back of the net. He is not only the most productive player on the Revs roster in terms of doing just that, but is also one the best strikers in MLS, and has 82 career goals in his six year MLS career to prove the point. Like Manny, he is the offensive catalyst for team that has many offensive weapons, and as a result, is also one of the most popular players on the Revolution.

Steve Ralston is Mike Lowell. Ralston (#14) is a midfielder whose primary responsibility is to help organize the attack, and is often a chief engineer of many Revolution goals. The stats don't lie: the MLS Ironman - he's played in an MLS record 328 games and counting - has 115 career assists, which is also an MLS record as well. This year he's recorded nine assists thus far, and a stat like that speaks to his uncanny knack at sparking the offense. Like Lowell, he brings a steadying veteran presence, and quietly goes about his business, letting his team's record do all the talking.

Matt Reis is David Ortiz. Reis (#1) is a spectacular player who is best known for stepping up in the clutch. Like Ortiz, Reis, the club's goalkeeper, has shined under pressure, as highlighted by a spectacular performance during last season's playoff shootout vs. the Chicago Fire. Not only did he deny two of the five attempts - the success rate of penalty kicks is about 80% - but also blasted one home for the Revs during their sequence of attempts as well. Ortiz and Reis are also much beloved players by their respective fans, and Reis often goes one step further by publicly supporting worthwhile charitable causes.

Andy Dorman is Kevin Youkilis. Dorman (#25) is an attacking midfielder, whose primary responsibility is to not only feed the forwards (like Twellman and Pat Noonan), but to take charge and also put the ball on net. Like Youkilis, the tall and lanky (in that respect, the comparison is bad) Welshman is one of the League's most productive and underrated players, with seven goals so far this season, and does well to terrorize the opposing teams goalkeeper. Interestingly, while both players were deserving of accolades, both we snubbed in their respective league's all-star selections this year.

Shalrie Joseph is Jason Varitek. Joseph (#21) is also a team leader - much like 'Tek - but his responsibility is not only to help initiate the attack when the ball is fairly deep in the opposition end, but to also stopgap an opponent's attack as well. He is the prototypical cerebral player: extremely smart, hardly ever makes an erroneous pass, and is most noticeable when he makes hard challenges on the ball – challenges which he often wins. The tall, dreadlocked Grenadian midfielder is the best in the league at his position, and as a result, offers from oversees clubs have come in to try and pry Mr. Joseph from the Revs. His stats won't "wow" you; it's the incalculable impact he has on the field - the intangibles - that truly make him a special player, much like Varitek.

Adam Cristman is Dustin Pedroia. Cristman (#7) is the most productive rookie in MLS right now, with 4 goals and 4 assists on the stat sheet so far. Like Pedroia, the rookie forward struggled in his first handful of matches before he notched his first goal in May vs. the same LA Galaxy in town this weekend. Both rookies have found their spots on their respective clubs, and are leading candidates for Rookie of the Year honors in their respective sports.

Now, a brief LA Galaxy-baseball comparison:

Landon Donovan is Alex Rodriguez - playing for the Orioles, that is. Donovan (#10) is arguably the best player in the league, much like A-Rod, but is surrounded by a cast of underperforming players this season. Before Becks, he was the League's "Golden Boy" in terms of both marketing and skill on the pitch. His status as one of the best American- born players is backed up by his 34 career US Men's National Team goals, despite the fact that he is only 25 years old. It also doesn’t hurt that he is married to actress Bianca Kajlich, giving the nicknamed “Landycakes” an extra bit of star appeal.

David Beckham is…well, there's only one David Beckham. Imagine, if you will, Michael Jordan leaving the Bulls and joining a lesser, talent-deficient team…wait, he’s already done that.
Truth be told, there really isn't a comparable baseball player, or any other athlete other than Jordan to compare him to; Becks carries with him an unrivaled worldwide appeal that brings a newcomer like you to see what the big deal is.

And with that, I hope you get to know all of the local soccer players, and most of all, I hope you enjoy the game!

Sunday Morning Striker: Revs cast curse on Wizards, 2-0

From the time MLS was officially birthed in 1996, the question has remained: how can the league do well to attract fans to watch pro soccer here in the States? Sure, the easy answers are family-friendly prices, free parking, and wonderful opportunities to interact with players. But on an exclusive basis, SMS has found the true answer to bringing in fans.

First - a little bit of background. It was last May when SMS took Sergio, Official 12-year old Cousin of SMS, to his first MLS match vs. Houston. We sat behind the net near the Fort, and while he was surely entertained, he was impressed with one thing: the cup olders.

Yes, Gillette Stadium has many wonderful amenities, but among the finest, at least to twelve year olds across New England, were the cup holders. Thinking nothing of this innocent statement, I laughed it off, and said "Yeah, the cup holders are great, but what about the game? Did you like it?"

He laughed, and nodded in agreement, and to my delight, asked when we would be able to see them play again.So with that thought in the back of my mind and two tickets to last night's KC-Revs match in my wallet, I posed the question of whether he would like to catch another Revs game at Gillette.

His response? "Sure! Do they still have those cup holders? Those things are so cool!"
So the key to attracting young fans is simple: add cup holders to every seat of every MLS venue!

MLS, my agent is standing by should you need to contact me regarding additional ideas for bringing in more fans.

Anyway, there was quite a match on tap, and with two of the Eastern Conference's most high-powered clubs squaring off, SMS predicted (albeit, inaccurately) another shootout much like the May 26th affair, which ended 4-3 KC. What a match to take the kiddies to!

The Wizards kicked off at 7:08pm ET, and although they possessed first, it was the Revs who soon took the title of owner/CEO of the adidas Teamgeist ball for much of the proceedings Thursday Night.

The Revs were immediately pounced and began to breath down the K.C. defense in the 2nd minute off a fortuitous free kick awarded a yard before the box. With a reprisal of last match’s free kick duo, Jeff Larentowicz and Steve Ralston both positioned themselves for the kick before Ralston stepped up and thumped a ball toward net. Though the ball missed its target, it deflected off a KC defender and fell fortuitously to birthday boy Pat Noonan, who just missed the close range shot on goal.

As if rolling out the red carpet for the home side’s attack, Taylor Twellman breezed through the back line during the 10th minute. The striker approached Kevin Hartman’s zip code before taking a quick shot mere yards away that fell silent against the side of the net.

K.C. finally managed to attack during minute 16, when Wizards striker Eddie Johnson cocked and fired a hard shot that skipped wide of the far post, finally putting the Revs on notice of their potent (32 total goals this season) attack.

Minutes later, during the 25th minute, the Wizards, in a display of birthday cheer, allowed Noonan to go full-steam ahead through the box before the birthday shuffled, stopped, but ultimately failed to muster the sufficient thrust to push the ball past Hartman.

Carlos Marinelli threatened to spoil the birthday celebrations when he rocketed a shot off of defender Michael Parkhurst that forced Matt Reis to bat away – almost out of harm’s way – before the ball collided with the woodwork rolled back to Reis.

In an amazing one-two sequence of events that began in the 41st minute, the Revolution faithful rose from its feet when Khano Smith sliced down the pitch before firing a cruise missile aimed right at Hartman. The attack momentarily halted, the Revs returned less than a minute later when the red carpet was once again rolled out – this time for Andy Dorman – and the lanky mid sent a skipper that was once again stuffed by a rather-busy El Gato.

The Revs continued their dominance of the bouncing orb for the opening minutes of frame two, and confidently assembled the troops in the K.C. end. Then, the all-out assault commenced when Smith positioned himself on the left wing and delivered a majestic cross to Twellman. Instead of taking the point-blank shot as defenders quickly converged, Twellman immediately headed the pass in mid-air to Noonan on his left before the scruffy striker finally unwrapped his present and banged home the goal at the 55th minute.

(Editor’s note: For the alternate perspective on this sequence, SMS provides the following, courtesy of Yankees announcer Suzyn Waldman: "OK, hang on everybody. Pat Noonan is still in the KC box, he's got the ball, but the Wizards aren't coming back! Oh my goodness gracious! Of all the dramatic things, of all the dramatic things I've ever seen, Pat Noonan is standing right in Kevin Hartman’s box with the ball on his foot and the Wizards aren't coming back!")

Clearly unsatisfied with a one-goal advantage versus the likes of E.J. and…E.J., the local 11 continued to overtake possession, despite the best efforts of the guests. At minute 73, Dorman once again stirred up trouble by firing an RPG directly at Hartman, who began to resemble a human piñata with the abuse he began to take as a result of his matador defending corps.

Conversely, the Revs back line harassed E.J. & Co. like paparazzi around Paris Hilton’s Range Rover. Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide – and right in front of a live national audience!
Coach Steve Nicol stamped his classy signature on the night by substituting Adam Cristman for birthday boy Noonan, who received a warm round of applause from the home crowd. Yet, the move proved to be more than just for ceremony, as Cristman immediately hounded the ball in Wizards territory.

Somehow, the Wiz positioned themselves twice in the waning minutes to acquire the equalizer off of two threatening corner kicks.

However, the Revs immediately countered after the second attempt, after Reis astutely smothered the corner and flung the ball toward Ralston up field with lots of real estate before him. The captain raced toward the right before mailing a perfect cross to Cristman on the left. The rookie took the feed and quickly took the pass before pushing the ball past an off-guard Hartman to cap the festivities, giving the Revs a valuable three points against the second-place squad.

Stat of the Match, Part 1: Pat Noonan has now scored in three consecutive matches, with each of them assisted by Taylor Twellman.

Stat of the Match, Part 2: Prior to Noonan’s recent goal-scoring binge, Twellman had goose egg in the assist column this season. He now has three.

Stat of the Match, Part 3: The Revs beat K.C. at home for the first time this millennium. The last home win came on September 7, 1999.

Stat of the Match, Part 4: With Noonan and Cristman’s goals in the 55th and 91st + minute respectively, it marked the first time this season that both the starter and substitute each scored a goal in the same game for the Revs.

Stat of the Match, Part 5: Matt Reis has come up with the clean sheet in 39% of his games this season. He has seven shutouts in eighteen MLS matches thus far.

Stat of the Match, Part 6: Despite the grumbles of many, the Revs are still undefeated on the Gillette Stadium FieldTurf, having gone 5-0-2 on it.

Stat of the Match, Part 7: Not to be forgotten in Noonan’s spectacular birthday performance is Jay Heaps’ 31st birthday on the very same night. It should be noted that Heaps also had a great night on the pitch as well by commandeering the Revs backs to an impressive blanketing of the dangerous K.C. attack.

The AND1 “OH BAY-BEE!”Play of the Match: In the 66th minute , Wizards mid Carlos Marinelli gleefully traipsed near the box, shaking hands and kissing babies in a crowd around him. No sooner did he finish that when a floating ball came hurtling down to his outstretched leg. With his back to the goal, he then cradled the ball, turned, and fired on the rebound before the warhead screamed over the bar. Though the shot missed, SMS definitely saw some youngsters in Section 104 with mouths covered in disbelief, and many long tees waved in delight.

Random soccer-related thought: It’s not just the LA Galaxy that’s coming to Foxboro on the 12th…it’s David Beckham and the LA Galaxy.

Random semi soccer-related thought: Kansas City obviously does not use OxyClean for their white unis, as SMS noted that the road clubs jerseys were less than white. Then again, SMS has nothing to substantiate that the Kansas City jerseys are even washed during the season. (I kid, I kid!)

Recent jersey purchase: No jersey this week, but rather an artifact from the USA’94. For a mere $12.97, SMS was able to purchase a like-new, USA ’94 Apex One Windbreaker, much like the one occasionally worn by Bora Milutinovic back in the day. (Note: SMS is still in search of a Milutinovic wig to match.)

The “MLS Hates the Revs” Conspiracy update: Further proof that the powers that be certainly smile in depriving the Revs of the spotlight whenever possible: espn2 has decided to pick up Sunday's LA Galaxy-Toronto FC match, which may mark the MLS regular season debut of Mr. Beckham. Since espn2 can only broadcast a set amount of matches per season, the casualty of this scheduling change is the Revs-Rapids match the following Thursday. Which just goes to show...MLS hates the Revs.

How do you say “JoJo” in Portuguese? With the recent news of Freddy Adu's $2 million transfer to Portuguese Liga club SL Benfica, SMS was pleased to see the wunderkid land at the club, which just so happens to be the Portuguese club of choice for yours truly. In all seriousness though, the situation is the best fit for all involved.

First, Adu's star in MLS had all but burned out - in fact, quite prematurely - given the fact that the former RSL/DCU midfielder is all of 18 years old. The star of the 2004 MLS SuperDraft was traded to RSL during this past offseason, but never really fit into manager Jason Kreis' scheme. Plus, Adu's exorbitant salary for a small-market club like Real was certainly not helping the club and a transfer or trade. Lastly, with Adu's contract set to expire at the end of the season, MLS smartly cashed in on the star's recent showing in Canada.Adu never reached the star placed so astronomically high above him in MLS.

Value diminished and look to start anew, Adu never really settled into Kreis' struggling side. Then, the magic and wonder surrounding the newly-legal star appeared during the FIFA U-20 World Cup in Canada, and suddenly, Adu was reborn.

No one will dispute that Portuguese Liga is on par with EPL, Bundesliga, and La Liga. While Adu reportedly garnered mild interest from Manchester United during the offseason, the more appropriate forum for a talented youngster like Adu is a lower-tired European league like the one in Portugal.

The league itself has born many attacking talents, namely, a 21-year old Cristiano Ronaldo, and most recently, one-named youngsters Nani and Anderson, both of whom transferred to Manchester United in June for a reported $22 million combined. My point...ah yes, my point - good move!

(For further reading on this, check out Frank Dell'Apa's piece on the transfer on espnsoccernet.com)

Misleading advertising, the Sequel: While yours truly was returning from Wednesday's training at Payson Park Field (a place that will be discussed in a future entry), he encountered a flyer at the local gas station that stated the following promotion for the KC-Revs match: Free ShirtFree Plasma TV*

What? A free TV? I'll pitch my tent right outside the newly constructed entry gates for the first crack at hauling one back to the abode! Oh wait a minute...that little asterisk usually means "refer to the small, barely readable print entailing what the caveat is." In this instance, yes, someone can win a 42" Plasma screen TV. However, you must enter to win the TV. Thus the flyer, if it hopes to be accurate, should read, "enter to win a Free TV." Another fine example of shrewd marketing, even if it is somewhat misleading.

Following the match, SMS offered this haiku to the not-so-clean shaven birthday boy:

Happy Birthday Noonan
Maybe Gillette can offer
You a new Mach3?

Another birthday haiku for the fellow birthday boy:

Birthday boy shines on
National television
Nothing gets by Heaps!

Alternate soccer clubs of SMS’s interest update: None at this time, sir. Aaaaaiiiiiiiyeeeeeeee! Although the Stingrays season is over, SMS will boldly go where no semi-delusional, third-person referencing soccer critic has gone before: college soccer. Stay tuned!

US Women’s National Team Feature: She’s earned 162 caps over nine years as a defender for the WNT, and yet, despite the mileage, Christie Rampone still does well to give her opponents headaches. Interestingly, according to her ussoccer.com bio, Christie has a black lab named tiger – but Christie, tigers aren’t black! Anywho, one of the most senior members of the squad will be appearing in her third FIFA Women’s World Cup this September, hoping to help ensure another championship for the USA.

Join us in 72 hours or so on what promises to be another sunny Sunday afternoon for the DC United match. While the next two weeks are going to be quite busy for the boys, the same could be said for SMS as well, with schedule jam-packed with weddings, vacations, family barbeques and llama raising.

Oh, and then some bloke named Beckham will be here next Sunday. Friends and family have been clamoring to SMS in an attempt acquire some sort of Becks-related physical specimen of to bring back them. Tall order, right? Wrong! I will duly bottle and seal with the official SMS Stamp of Approval, high quality, authentic David Beckham air from Gillette Stadium horded mere feet away from the English superstar. Remember, this will be an SMS exclusive!

Got a comment, question, or accusation? Feel free to write me at SMSRevs@gmail.com. Hey, I just may quote you in a future article. Be advised that comments and questions will be selected on a completely arbitrary basis.

Sunday Morning Striker: Revs have Miss USA moment, draw 0-0 to RSL

Earlier this week, the incredibly beautiful Rachel Smith, better known as Miss USA, confidently graced the Miss Universe stage before awkwardly falling flat her rear before a world-wide television audience. Similarly, the Revolution played the role of clumsy brunette bombshell and embarrassingly fell on its you-know-what before 16,184 gawking onlookers, as the local XI drew 0-0 to Western Conference bottom feeders Real Salt Lake.

After Real (which, for the non-soccer types, is pronounced Ray-AHL) kicked off for the first half, both sides evenly advanced on each other’s sides in the opening minutes, with both keepers being tested early.

In the 8th minute, Taylor Twellman commenced what would become a frustratingly recurring theme throughout the night, as he headed a brilliant Khano Smith ball that was swiftly denied by a spring-heeled Nick Rimando. “Twellman nearly made it one-zero,” exclaimed Revs announcer Brad Feldman. Feldman could have easily tape-recorded that line for repeated use, as the Revs continued to press, but ultimately failed to wed the ball with the back of the net.

A hairy situation developed in the 18th minute, when newly-acquired Real striker Alecko Eskandarian attempted to push a ball past The Man Who is Dead to Him.* Before the chance fully materialized, Jeff Larentowicz thwarted the attempt by pick pocketing the ball away. However, after said extortion took place, Larentowicz, surrounded by a gaggle of Real…ists, passed the ball back to Matt Reis, who found himself caught off guard by the sudden pass back, and had to contort his body in an awkward position to kick the virtual grenade out of harm’s way. To make matters worse, Eskandarian pressured the very much alive Reis for the ball, before the bald brick wall ultimately smothered the ball for safe keeping.

(*After a fateful crossing of paths on the pitch in 2004, Eskandarian was knocked out of action after he and Reis collided while battling for the ball. Soon after, Esky stated that Reis is “dead to him.”)

In the 20th minute, the Revs fired again when Steve Ralston fed Andy Dorman a perfectly-placed ball, before the former Terrier launched a rocket on goal that was walled away by Rimando.

Although the Revs dominated possession for much of the match, Real exploited the few holes in the New England backline. In the 30th minute, wonderboy Freddy Adu broke free on the right flank before clanking a shot off the near post, drawing a collective heavy sigh out of the Revolution faithful.

Disconcertingly, the natural grass began to play a larger role than one expected as the match progressed. Although natural grass is a welcome sight for players and fans alike, it seemed that the soulless entity wreaked havoc on many Revolution players throughout the night. On more than three potential scoring sequences, SMS noted that the primary shot taker slipped or was tripped up by the sinister sod.

Of course, while the grass was thriving in its unwelcome role, the Revs continued to find their chances stifled by a noticeably less talented Real squad. Perhaps the most accurate comparison SMS can make with respect to the early-June proceedings, is that of an army (the Revs, of course) stockpiled with a cache of sophisticated weaponry (Twellman, Ralston, Cristman, Noonan) filled with standard Hollywood-industry blanks instead of high-caliber bullets.

The blanks fired with tantalizing frequency in the second half, when Twellman headed another ball alluringly close to the Real net, but deflected mere feet away from its intended target in the 55th minute.

Less than a minute later, Twellman again waltzed his way into the box with a scope clear of any distractions or debris before pulling the trigger on a wicked shot that Rimando coldly batted away. More chances mounted for the Revs in the half, but each one was snuffed out by rather serendipitous defending on the part of Real.

A wonderful moment came in the 71st minute, when Revs rookie and Irish international Bryan Byrne came on for Khano Smith. That moment was effectively ended soon thereafter as the Irish international was booked less than a minute into his MLS debut for a reckless foul.

With less than fifteen minutes left in the match, in the 79th minute, Ralston cut down the left flank before firing a cross to Twellman, who put a Rodney Harrison-caliber hit on Rimando as the two battled for the ball. Twellman, who SMS strongly feels should wear shoulder pads anyway the way he is often manhandled by crude defenders, gave Rimando a hit worthy of an NFL highlight film. Unfortunately, the ball squirted out of play, as Rimando struggled to get back to his feet.

In the 81st minute, Byrne received another “Welcome to MLS” moment when he was hard-tackled from behind by Ritchie Kotschau, which was promptly rewarded by referee Baldomero Toledo. With a man-advantage for the remainder of the match, the odds favored the Revs finally breaking through with potential clincher.

Said potential clincher came oh-so-close to materializing the 89th on a Ralston special from the corner that was powerfully headed on goal by Twellman, who painstakingly pushed the ball right to Rimando. After this opportune chance to attain the goal passed, SMS wrote “draw” in his notebook, as minutes later, the final whistle blew, and the home team, frustratingly drew with the MLS draw champ, Real Salt Lake, nil-nil.

Stat of the Match Part 1: The last time the Revs played consecutive home matches on natural grass, they went 2-0 (vs. Columbus 1-0 on October 14, and vs. Chicago 2-1 on October 28). This year, they are 0-1-1. SMS begrudgingly calls for the return of FieldTurf.

Stat of the Match Part 2: With the shutout, Matt Reis has now walled up the Revolution net four times this year, which is tops in the league.

Stat of the Match Part 3: When the almost tastefully-named Bryan Byrne came on in the 71st minute, he became the fourth different Revolution rookie to make his MLS debut this season.

Stat of the Match Part 4: Exactly 343 days ago Saturday night, the Revs and Real played to a scoreless draw in Utah on June 24, 2006.

Stat of the Match Part 5: Despite out-shooting Real nearly 3 to 1 (NE- 23 shots, RSL – 8), and putting 11 more shots on goal than Real (13-2), the Revs somehow drew Real 0-0.

Stat of the Match Part 6: After playing a remarkable 48 days without a loss (beginning April 8 through May 26), the Revs are now assured of going at least 21 days (beginning May 26 through June 16) without a win, as their next match isn’t until June 16.

Haiku of the Match: SMS offers this haiku in commemoration of Saturday night’s affair:

Revs draw to Real
Grass takes a life of its own
Bring back the FieldTurf.

In commemoration of Bryan Byrne’s MLS debut:

Nicol inserts Byrne
Minute later rook gets booked
Ref: leave kid alone!

The soccer gods promise a speedy investigation: Twellman has now gone goal-less in his last two matches while wearing his brightly-colored neon boots.

Beckham gains instant street cred: SMS did something Monday afternoon that he rarely does - listen to the radio - and his ears caught an electric rhyme referencing a rather obscure footballer. "Let it Go", by Keyshia Cole, Missy Elliot and Lil' Kim features a sample of Biggie Smalls' 1994 hip hop classic "Juicy.” But perhaps the most intriguing aspect of the ditty (no pun intended) is the following rhyme Kim drops:

"Here's a lil lesson/Lil' Kim don't stress 'em/Kick 'em all straight to the curb like Beckham"

Boy, guess soccer really has come a long way when a player's name is mentioned in a hip hop track! With a burgeoning Houston rap scene infiltrating MTV2 airwaves, how long will it be before Clint Dempsey’s name gets dropped?

Don't ask about a potential Clinton Cup: In honor of the US-China MNT match Saturday, SMS proposes that both teams square off on an annual or biennial basis for the Nixon Cup, an imaginative trophy in honor of Richard Nixon becoming the first US President to make a journey to the People's Republic of China back in 1972. From here on out, SMS shall be the presenter of said fictitious trophy to the winning squad. Thus, with the US’s 4-1 thumping of China Saturday night, SMS hereby awards the very first Nixon Trophy to Bob Bradley’s boys.

First one to find one gets to give it to SMS! Readers, SMS hates to air grievances regarding address personal issues, but in this instant, it is to address a certain soccer apparel-related point. With SMS's birthday quickly approaching, why, oh why, is it so hard to find a Clint Dempsey Fulham jersey? Official Brother of SMS, Chris, reports no luck in finding such kit, and SMS has scoured the interweb and local soccer shops without any luck. There MUST exist, for retail purchase, said jersey. First one to provide useful information to potential outlet to purchase a Dempsey Fulham kit will win SMS's very first non-prize!

In case you didn't know...Arsene Oka and Willie Sims are both tied for second in Reserve League goals this season with a pair apiece in four matches. Additionally, SMS notes that the stats listed on MLS’s website are painfully outdated, and are inexcusably current as of May 6, 2007.

SMS’s bold pre-match prediction: Last year vs. the Revs at Gillette Stadium, the impeccably-dressed Jason Kreis scored a goal in the 55th minute on July 14th, 2006. This year, SMS guaranteed no such thing would occur this year. Remember, SMS guarantees the accuracy of all predictions, or the next one's free!

Best play by MLS' best goalkeeper: Reis was dumped in a pot of boiling water in the first half when Larentowicz carelessly passed back to the keeper despite a group of quickly converging Real attackers. Reis, clearly caught off guard the potential own goal, alertly tapped the ball away before an oncoming Eskandarian tried to poach the ball away. Reis then gathered the ball, and thus avoided an embarrassing sequence which could have landed Larentowicz the very first “Goat of the Match” award by SMS.

Nikki Hilton Award: SMS had created a new award for a forgotten Revs player who has seemingly dropped off the radar, quietly biding their time while more know teammates continue to bask in the spotlight (like Nikki’s sister, Paris). To encourage reader participation, please forward all nominations to RevsNet, where they will be read, scrutinized, and after more scrutiny, tallied for the count.

Tradin’ Places: Last year, Kyle Brown appeared in the 58th minute for the Revs the last time the home side faced Real. Saturday night, Brown was back – in a Real warm-up suit. Brown was listed among the substitutes for Real. Brown has yet to see MLS action this year for Real, after registering 12 career appearances for the Revs prior to his draft-day trade to Real this past winter.

Duty calls: Saturday night marked the final MLS match for Twellman, Ralston, and Parkhurst before reporting for US Men’s National Team duty with next week’s Gold Cup tournament. The talented trio will miss the next two matches vs. Columbus (6/16) and Toronto (6/23), leaving the Revs without its primary offensive catalysts. SMS hopes that while the club will certainly suffer, the opportunities created by the absences will help some of the younger players accrue valuable MLS minutes. SMS personally nominates Arsene Oka as the primary beneficiary of said absences.

Quote of the match: “You know, we only got a point. It’s disappointing. We want to get three points and get a win. Obviously we’re upset, but at the end of the day we’re at five wins, two losses, and three ties so it’s not all bad. We need to start getting three points at home though.” – Steve Ralston.

US Women’s National Team Player Feature: She is described as “one of the most skillful players in US history” in her ussoccer.com bio, and recorded her 100th cap earlier this year. Aly Wagner is the Pepe Cancela of the US WNT, a remarkably creative midfielder who flat out makes her teammates better. During her illustrious career with the US WNT, Wagner has collected 20 goals and 33 assists, and in 2003, became the first overall pick in the 2003 WUSA draft when she was selected by the mysteriously named San Diego Spirit. Interestingly, her bio that “she refuses to watch reality TV.” But Aly, televised soccer matches are reality TV! Does that mean you refuse to watch televised soccer?

SMS holds the above truths to be self-evident – SMS doesn’t believe in research!

Join us again after the fourteen-day stretch Revolution-less drought, whereby SMS promises to deliver on many unspoken promises. In the meanwhile, SMS will be readying himself for Gold Cup action next week, as old friend Clint Dempsey returns to Gillette Stadium with the US Men’s National Team. Readers, be sure to give Deuce a hearty cheer for me, as SMS will be unable to clap loudly and rhyme praises from the press box during introductions come June 12th!

Game 1: Boy(s) Meet World

So much for adding to that 500 franchise goal mark the Revolution has so prominently featured on its official website.

The Revs, who mere months ago sent Chicago packing after eliminating them for the Eastern Conference semi-finals last October, were shut out by a Fire club that pocketed an early goal in the 4th minute and never looked back, taking the 1-0 result from the boys in blue.

New England amazingly started three rookies (Adam Cristman, Gary Flood and Wells Thompson) to kick off the 2007 season, due in large part to injuries to Shalrie Joseph and Michael Parkhurst. Minutes into the game, they already had their backs to the wall early on after Fire defender Logan Pause Swiss-cheesed the New England defenders and found himself in the right place at the right time by shimmying a weak shot just out of the reach of Revs ‘keeper Matt Reis.

From there on out, it was a parade of missed chances for the Revs, who came oh-so tantalizingly close to equalizing on ensuing occasions.

Minutes after the Pause goal, Andy Dorman would send in a cross from the right wing that Taylor Twellman, normally exceptional on headers, uncharacteristically ricocheted just wide of the net. Later in the first half, Dorman would again send in a bouncing cross that missed not one, but two Revs players, as Cristman and Twellman, as if choreographed, both simultaneuously missed getting a heel on.

In the 2nd half, Twellman rocketed a shot that just pounded off the crossbar and high into cold Chicago air. Later, it would be Fire keeper Matt Pickens who withstood a couple of shots from Dorman. Twellman would be robbed by Pickens after making a smothering save on TnT’s free kick in the 81st minute.

The Revs, seemingly snake-bitten after coming up short more times than Susan Lucci at the Daytime Emmys, lowered their heads in defeat, and conceded their first match of the season to their bitter Eastern Conference rivals.

*Steve Nicol threw his young charges to the Fire without hesitation, by starting Cristman up front with Twellman, Flood at right back, and Thompson at midfield. After Pause’s early goal, a sequence in which Flood looked somewhat tentative, all three rooks held themselves fairly well. Cristman seemed to find himself in the mix on a handful of scoring opportunities, while Thompson admirably flowed through midfield traffic to find open space, as well as locating goal-crashing teammates.

*Although the rookies played well, the game itself reeked of 2006. Missed chances, early holes, and the accompanying goose egg must have given Revs fans flashbacks of many of last year’s matches. However, to Nicol’s credit, the substitution of Flood, a defender, for Arsene Oka, a midfielder who also moonlights as a forward on occasion, may have raised a few eyebrows – in a good way. Obviously, Nicol was playing for the equalizer – duh – but did so in a refreshingly unconventional way by threw an untested, but exciting, rookie into a pressure situation, instead of going the safe route by inserting a veteran sub.

*Call it Year One of a Youth Revolution. Despite the 0-1 ending, the fact that four Revolution rookies all made their MLS debuts was exciting. Cristman, Thompson and Oka all had impressive preseasons, and it was fantastic to see each get their chance in a heated (figuratively), early-season match in frosty Chicago. Flood, called into a starting gig with Michael Parkhurst injured, did a good job to bottle up the Fire attack after the Pause goal, and dispersed some very fancy feeds. Although much too early to cast judgment, the supplemental pick could very well be a fine defender in this league before long. Don’t let the score distract you; this was a very encouraging preview of coming attractions.

*Somebody must have dropped the ball on the regional TV coverage because Revs fans in RI faced the same result as the Revs Saturday night: they were shut out. With TV38 - a station unavailable to Cox subscribers in RI – now carrying Revs games this season, the expectation was that there would be an arrangement made between the club, TV38, and Cox to ensure that the game would be available in Little Rhody. Oh, it was – some 21 hours after the final whistle. Cox showed the game on Cox Channel 3 on Sunday night at 7pm, which technically, did illustrate that Cox3 was indeed able to work out an arrangement with TV38. Unfortunately, the caveat that the game be broadcast live was apparently overlooked.

*They say that the best-officiated games are the ones in which you don’t notice the arbiters. This truism was certainly applicable to Saturday night’s match, as referee Baldomero Toledo oversaw a well-officiated match despite the tenacious air between the two teams. Credit is especially due for calling the dodo bird six-second rule on the Fire after Pickens held onto the ball well beyond the allotted six seconds a keeper can seize the ball for. The call gave the Revs a free kick in the 81st minute at a very opportune time.

*The question begs to be asked: When will the Revs get a home date for the season opener? A trend that is quickly becoming steeped in tradition, the Revs have now opened the season on the road every year since their inception. One has to wonder what the motives are behind this rather alarming statistic that keeps the Revs on the road once the season commences. Surely, this can only reinforce the theory that the Revolution has indeed become the unofficial stepchild of MLS.

*The Revs outshot the Fire 18 to 11, but were outdone by one in terms on shots on goal, 6 to 5. Nevertheless, this was a game that the Revs could have not only easily tied, but won, had they capitalized on just a couple of their numerous chances. Overall, the game was encouraging on many different fronts (tactics, rookies, solid chances), and should be no cause for any Revs player or fan to hang his or her head on.

Revs Sign Reis to Contract Extension

The New England Revolution has announced that starting goalkeeper and MLS All-Star Matt Reis has been signed to a contract extension, ensuring the former UCLA Bruin will guard the Revolution net for the foreseeable future. Terms of the deal were no disclosed, per MLS policy, but the deal guarantees Reis will be in the familiar navy and red next year, as his contract was to set expire upon the conclusion of the 2007 season.

The extension marks the third major signing by the club since the end of the 2006 season. Pat Noonan was re-signed back in November and Taylor Twellman was rewarded with a 3-year extension back in January.

With three of its key players locked in beyond this year, the Revs continue to invest in its own home-grown talent, rather than signing unknown quanitities from other clubs.