The Sickly Friday Morning Rant

First of all, allow me to apologize for not checking in sooner. I've been fighting a rather nasty sinus infection and coupled with an inordinate amount of Christmas-related obligations, I've been terribly remiss in submitting a half-hearted post this month. So anyway, let's get started, shall we?

1. Due to my sickness, I've been holed up in my room for much of the week, left to my devices and many boxes of tissues. However, my relative inactivity has allowed me to catch up on some reading. Notably, I've been engrossed in Jamie Trecker's "Love & Blood", an entertaining and enlightening first-hand account of the 2006 World Cup. Already halfway through after only two sittings, I've been impressed enough to brush aside my critical opinion of Trecker, who at times seems to go out of his way to bash women's pro soccer and MLS in his regular pices on foxsports.com.

Nevertheless, if you can put his inflammatory opinions behind you, then I would highly recommend this book, as it not only gives a wonderful account of Germany '06, but some interesting insight into the politicking that went into securing the World Cup there. Great read, thus far.

2. I love Jen Chang's blog on espnsoccernet.com. Really, it is like a soothing cup of hot chocolate on these cold December days in which the local landscape is almost completely barren of soccer. However, my only qualm is that it could be more MLS-centered. Not that there's anything wrong with comments on soccer abroad (especially since we're in the midst of a fairly quiet MLS offseason), but a guy with his kind of inside info MUST have some "interesting" knowledge of MLS offseason going-ons (trade rumors? expansion discussions? number of assistants Beckham employs?) that readers would love to hear about. Right?

3. I wouldn't call it desperation per se, but I took a trip up to Springfield, MA with my young cousin for some indoor soccer last Saturday. The Massachusetts Twisters, the local entry in the American Indoor Soccer League, provided a wonderful night of soccer-related entertainment for my young cohort and I, and was actually quite surprised that I actually enjoyed it as much as I had. In fact, I've already begun working on a piece in which I defend the indoor game, because quite honestly, I don't feel it gets the respect it deserves.

Yes, it's not the same as the outdoor game - but just because it isn't, doesn't mean that it deserves to be lampooned or bashed, as Paul Gardner has done in past articles. I attended the Twisters match with an open mind, and thoroughly enjoyed the quick pace and high energy. My cousin had just as much fun, and actually asked me to bring him along next time I plan on attending another match.

Call me a sucker for ther sport's grassroots efforts, but I think anyone with an open mind would have his/her soccer world expanded considerably if just a little respect was given to such localized and "below the radar" outfits like the AISL.

4. For those of you who read my Sunday Morning Striker pieces, I haven't just yet started on my indoor soccer coaching responsibilities. I'm actually in the process of getting feedback on how to best organize this little endeavor, as well as getting an estimate of how many kids would be interested in playing about once a week. The things I do to keep up with this malignant soccer addiction...

Sunday Morning Striker: Revs outlast Rapids on a late goal, 1-0

This is a grand time of the year. Though the calendar indicates summer's concluded, the days are still somewhat warm, and the leaves begin to turn astonishing pigments of orange, yellow, and red. Yes, fall has greeted us at the front door, and soon, we will be carving pumpkins, raking leaves, and retiring the lawnmowers ‘til spring.

But before then, SMS wanted to elaborate on a term that he has recently coined. Now, before said term is shared, SMS wants to give due credit to one of his college professors for the inspiration behind this phrase. For it was four years ago, during one of SMS's favorite courses - Courts and Public Policy - that his professor, Dr. Schmeling, noticed that with the cool air blowing through the open class windows, "Halloween weather" was upon us.

So with that, Sunday Morning Striker declares that said weather is also "Revolution weather." Why? For a few reasons.

One, as a sports fan in general, this is the time of year where the Red Sox start tanking it (thankfully, they held on and clinched the AL East on Friday night), the Patriots, though off to a tremendous start, are still in the toddler stages of the NFL season, and with the Bruins...wait...does anyone still care about the Bruins? Exactly. The Revs are playing critical games as the season winds down - games which they typically win, if you look at the recent history of their September stats - which is very un-Red Sox like. Though there is some sadness that the regular season is almost reaching its finale, it's quelled by the excitement of another playoff run. The tickets are already punched; it's just a matter of where they finish, and who they play. Simple.

Second, there's a little something extra on the line this season. You may have heard about this little trophy called the U.S. Open Cup – the oldest of its kind in the U.S. - which the Revs will be playing FC Dallas for this Wednesday. It's the club's shot at its first piece of braggable hardware. How lucky are Revolution fans right now for their beloved club to be in contention for three trophies? In addition to the U.S. Open Cup, the Supporter's Shield (top MLS club) and the MLS Cup are all within grasp.

Third, as a history buff, the fall reminds SMS of tales of the Battle of Yorktown, perhaps the decisive battle of the Revolutionary War. The battle began on September 28, 1781 and concluded on October 17th. After this battle - a battle in which a team of American and French forces defeated an embarrassed General Cornwallis - the war, which by now had reached year six, and the British were losing their resolve. This battle served notice that the colonists were in this for the long haul, while the British were simply losing interest. Think of it like any previous Revolution-Toronto FC match up, and the fourth goal was scored. After the first three, you knew Toronto wanted nothing to do with the affair. They just wanted to pack up and go home. Same thing here with the British. (And both wore red…not a coincidence!)

In general, it's worth nothing that the ragtag continental armies despised fighting during the cold winters; so much of the strategy and planning of battles usually took place before the cold set in (which made Washington’s crossing of the Delaware River on Christmas Day 1776 that much more brilliant – the Hessians and British wanted nothing more to do that day than to feast while a wicked snowstorm had just blown through Trenton, NJ). Thus, fall was great opportunity to stage battles, as the air was often dry, and the weather seasonable enough to endure weeks upon weeks of battle, if necessary.

Speaking of “Revolution weather”, the Revolution and Rapids kicked off Saturday night under –what else- cool and breezy early-autumn conditions! The last time these clubs met was back on August 16th, in what essentially proved to be a glorified game of keep away, as Revs chased and chased en route to a disastrous 3-0 result in Commerce City.

Soon after the Gillette Stadium audio system blasted the ubiquitous “Welcome to the Jungle”, the Rapids kicked off at 7:38pm ET. A surprising subplot took shape when the Revolution marched onto the pitch without their sniper, Taylor Twellman, who was nursing a strained groin. To make up for the loss, the Steve Nicol surprisingly employed the 3-4-3, with Steve Ralston inserted as a forward.

Early on, it was the Rapids that threatened, as the Revs struggled to form an attack of some sorts. Nearly ten minutes after Gun n’ Roses blared, a brief assault was organized in the 9th minute. Adam Cristman pickpocketed a lazy Rapids pass deep in their own end, took a touch, and fired a shot from the right channel that forced Bouna Coundoul to make the save.

Just seconds later, the theatrics sparked up when Tony Sanneh dramatically fell like he’d been shot in the hindquarters after he ran into a stout Jay Heaps. Sanneh remained on the pitch for some time, drawing as much attention to his condition as possible. Amazingly, referee Ricardo Salazar took the bait and Heaps was awarded a yellow for his non-efforts. As Sanneh hobbled off the field, Medhi Ballouchy entered for his Oscar-worthy teammate.

Halfway through the first frame, the Rapids had the Revs on their heels, occupying the land in front of the lighthouse for a better part of the first twenty five minutes.

Then, a quick counterattack was commandeered by Captain Ralston in the 26th minute, but after sidestepping a defender and racing into the D, his shot was stopped cold by Coundoul.


Although Colorado controlled possession for much of the first half, the Revs attack sprung to life briefly in the waning minutes when Shalrie Joseph, Khano Smith, and Ralston all orchestrated invasions of Rapids territory. But it was all for naught, as the local lads failed to penetrate the goal line before the frame concluded.

Entering the second half, Nicol’s troops came out poised to spoil their guests’ stay in Norfolk County, and what better way to say “get the heck outta here with your foolish flopping” than a quick goal? However, the Rapids rejected the proposition and continued their first half ownership of the adidas Teamgeist ball.

However, in the 55th minute, the Revolution mounted a mild attack in which Ralston kicked it back to Dorman and fired a deflected shot on a vulnerable Coundoul. Fortunately for the keeper, he was in perfect position, as the ball magnetically found his mitts as he literally sat in the 6-yard box.

At the hour mark, the Revolution attack began to show its teeth, as it found more and more opportunities near the lighthouse in the second half. Though the home side threatened with a pair of corners, Coundoul kept the ball away from the net.

On offense, Rapids threatened on a dangerous free kick in the 71st minute after Cummings powerfully headed the ball goalward, until Larentowicz deftly blasted the ball out of the vicinity

With the scoreboard on snooze at 0-0, the Rapids continued to fall like gray dominoes, hoping to draw the attention of Salazar. Apparently, they had forgotten that 1.) The object of the game is to put the ball in the back of the net, and 2). By the way, you’re still three points short of a playoff berth.

To their credit, the Revs ooohhhed the crowd in the 77th minute after a couple of quick attacks, but failed to deposit the pill through the Colorado goalmouth. Pat Noonan harnessed a high ball and booted it to Cristman on the doorstep. Unfortunately, the rookie crashed before he was able to put an appendage on it.

In the 83rd minute, a spirited Matt Reis repeatedly pushed forward his large mitts as he implored his teammates to salvage a late goal with the clock winding down.

And as the autumn breeze began to pick up in the 88th minute, the Revs answered the call to arms. Joseph, stationed mere yards after the halfway line, fed a ball forward to a streaking Smith on the left wing. The Bermudan cut inside, split two defenders, and boomed a shot into the net for the late-match tally at 9:22pm ET under the waning gibbous moon that glowed above the Stadium. It was the only goal needed, and after four minutes of stoppage, the Revs walked off the pitch proud with another home victory.

THREE PENNY ANALYSIS: Well, it had all the makings of a lackluster performance early on, but the Revolution truly found a way to win. The first half was all Colorado, and despite the Revs outshooting them (2-1) and having the advantage ok corners (4-1), the possession was clearly in favor of the guests. The Revs best chances in the first sixty minutes came from close-range free kicks, where Twellman’s absence was especially felt when Ralston’s lobs failed to meet a teammate’s noggin.

With the free kicks only giving brief promise, the Revs would simply have to keep attacking – and did just that in the final 15 minutes. Whether it was weariness from chasing the turbo-charged Ralston or from flopping so often, the Rapids were exhausted, and Kenny Smith made them pay dearly with his next-to-next-to-last-minute heroics. The defense held its part of the bargain in the second half, and the Revs put it altogether for the win.

And not to be overshadowed is the fact that they ride this momentum into Frisco on Wednesday for the US Open Cup final against FC Dallas.

Random soccer-related thought, Part 1: The Rapids, in their grayish-blue road kits, sported a look that can best be described as throwback Philadelphia Phillies road jerseys.

Random soccer-related thought, Part 2: And say what you will about Fernando Clavijo, but the man knows how to dress. By the way, how was he not listed in GQ’s “50 Most Stylish Men” issue? But fear not, for the soccer gods, though mysterious, smile upon these sorts of matters.

O ye trifle not with the soccer gods: Medhi Ballouchy was issued a yellow card in the 67th minute, after his predecessor, Tony Sanneh, convinced referee Salazar to award one to Jay Heaps on a highly-suspect foul in the 10th minute.

Back, and better than ever…well, at least they’re back! A couple of Revolution haikus for you to chew on…

Twellman out tonight
Ralston steps in to replace
3-4-3 indeed

Match stuck at zero
For a long eighty eight minutes
Then Kenny seals it.

A silver Revolution jersey? Last week, the Patriots, donned the incredibly useless silver alternate jerseys against the Bills. By useless, I mean they are essentially the white jerseys without being washed. Seriously. They look like the unwashed version of the white jerseys. SMS is not the only one who thinks this.

Anywho, this reminded SMS that the Revs also wore silver jerseys at one time. Though he does not have any photographic evidence to corroborate this claim, he does distinctly remember his intent to purchase one at the local Sports Authority back in 2000 after seeing them on TV. Unfortunately, being the poor college student that he was, SMS was ten dollars short of the $45 retail price, and thus the shiny shirt was never purchased. Seven years later, SMS simply wishes he had mowed a few more lawns and picked it up a few days later. Sigh…

Who oversees grammar at MLSnet.com? Recently, SMS received an e-mail from MLSNet.com promoting their charitable efforts in fighting malaria, a deadly, mosquito-transmitted disease that affects many children on the African continent. While the cause is certainly worthwhile –SMS himself sent in a donation - the e-mail was oddly-titled “Enter the MLS WORKS for Nothing But Nets Sweeps.” Huh? What’s MLS doing? Or what is it not doing? Aiyeeeeeeeeee!

US Women’s National Team Update: The WNT faced off against Brazil on Thursday, and for a little added drama, manager Greg Ryan boldly benched Hope Solo in favor of Briana Scurry. Owing to Scurry’s overall record and previous play against the formidable Brazilians, Ryan played the percentages and went with the ’99 World Cup hero rather than Solo and her 290-minute shutout streak. SMS said it in his Running Diary and he’ll say it again: Dance with the one that brung ya! Predictably, the experiment failed, the US went down early 0-2, Shannon Boxx got tossed, and the Brazilians never looked back, as they thrashed the Americans 4-0. Thus, the best team in the world will not be playing for the World Cup, and poor SMS will have to settle for watching the third-place game on Sunday.

Greg Ryan is a great coach – his record proves that – but his decision to bench Solo was a dumb, dumb mistake. The early goals (one of which was an own goal by Leslie Osborne) seemed to deflate the US, as they failed to establish any prolonged attack before Boxx was sent off. After that, it pretty much became elementary: the US was not coming back, and Brazil did well to ensure that. Kudos to them, and though the US will always be my team, SMS will be rooting for Brazil in the finals.

SMS Alma Mater Update: The Anchorwomen clashed against Springfield College on Tuesday night, but were blanked 3-0 by the Pride. Then, on a date that SMS had circled on his calendar, RIC played #23 Western Connecticut State University on Homecoming Weekend. SMS proudly sported his RIC hoodie and hat, and though the Anchorwomen were shutout 3-0 by Colonials, the home team played their hearts out in the face of much stiffer competition.

That being said, while the Anchorwomen sport a “they can do better” record of 3-5-1, their schedule is laced with nationally-ranked opponents. SMS personally admires the lack of cupcakes in the schedule, and feels that the sharp competition will only improve the play of the Anchorwomen over the next few years.

Sunday Morning Striker will be reporting back after the Chicago match where he will discuss the US Open Cup Finals, the farce that became the MLS national TV schedule, and the amazing parallels between the Red Sox and Revolution.

Got a question, concern or deeply-held grievance? E-mail the Sunday Morning Striker at SMSRevs@gmail.com.

Sunday Morning Striker: Red Bulls and Revs draw 2-2, and Red Bull causes late submission (again!)

Recently, Sunday Morning Striker attended two soccer matches within the span of four days, which may be some sort of record (note: it isn't...four in one day is the current record). The lucky pair was Brazil-Mexico and Revolution-FC Dallas. Now, if you attended both of these matches as well, the crowd involvement was night and day, apples and oranges, Britney and Christina. The former was one filled with drums, sambas, and a sea of canary yellow. The latter was another run of the mill, sterile crowd, save for the Fort and the non-stop crying baby two rows behind me.

But back to the overwhelmingly pro-Brazilian faithful: such is the sunny, colorful disposition of Brazilian soccer fans (futbol fans, to be more accurate - the words "Brazil" and "soccer" go together like Paris and Pele), and the vibe throughout the crowd was electric and highly-infectious. Never, in all of SMS's life, has he attended an event containing a bevy of 68,000 passionate fans, almost none of whom used their seats for sitting, but rather standing the entire 90 minutes.

This got SMS thinking: what can be done to amp up the atmosphere at Revolution games? What can be learned from Brazil-Mexico crowd a few Wednesday nights ago? Some suggested free tickets for the scantily clad Brazilian women for the rest of the season. This could work. But SMS have a much better (note: family-friendly) answer.

Now, before I elaborate on this no-fail idea, be advised that SMS is a man of the people. It would be much more financially rewarding to pitch the idea directly to the Revs for a lucrative, incentive-laden deal, have them counter it, which in turn would bring SMS's roster of lawyers to negotiate a fair deal to which SMS rides to Revs games in a limousine for the rest of his days.

So here it is - two words, but one fantastic idea: Revolution Song Girls.

Now, SMS understands that soccer purists may initially scoff. “There are no cheerleaders in soccer!” you say. Let SMS amend that for you - there are no cheerleaders in (Eastern European) soccer. But there are cheerleaders in Mexican soccer, and there are definitely cheerleaders in other MLS organizations, such as Colorado, Columbus, and Chivas USA has the ChivasGirls. But what I propose are not cheerleaders - SMS proposes song girls.

Song Girls would amp up the crowd between short stoppages in play (prior to goal kicks, free kicks, corners, as well as during halftime). Hey, watch where you throw that tomato! Anyway, after the tendonitis kicks in, ice down the arm and consider this: it would be run by a person knowledgeable in soccer, thus, there wouldn't be cheers during the run of play. A perfect display for the song girls would be prior to a corner kick. Think about it: Steve Ralston calmly jogs toward the flag, the song girls would come out, right behind the opponent's net, and wave their shiny navy and silver pom-poms in anticipation for the kick. The Revolution Song Girls would, of course, also appear in dance and song after a Revolution goal, and SMS already has visions of Khano Smith bowling over a few Song Girls as part of his goal celebration (just ask Jay Heaps about this). This would rank high on many fans’ entertainment scales.

Those of you who aren't forced read this column might retort, "Hey, wait just a minute, Sunday Morning Striker! Didn't you mention back in May during the Columbus match that the soccer gods frown upon cheerleaders?" SMS’s answer to that is this: there's a difference between song girls and cheerleaders. Trust me. You see, Revolution song girls would bypass the standard, cleavage bearing cheerleader tops in favor of tight, Revolution-branded sweaters (Adidas Climacool during the summer months) with matching short skirts, thus projecting that wholesome, girl-next-door image. There's your primary difference. In any event, just to be sure, SMS has circulated a memo to the soccer gods themselves humbly requesting their approval of song girls.

Next time: why the Revs need to ditch the costumed Slyde mascot and employ a real, live fox for its matches...and I'm not talking about Jessica Alba, though SMS wishes he was.

In other news, the Revs kicked off against New York on the football-lined pitch of Giants Stadium Saturday night. With only five matches remaining, the second-place Revs looked to secure three points in the hopes of overthrowing the current king of the hill, DC United, for the Supporter’s Shield.

The home team wasted absolutely no time establishing their rhythm, when the inexperienced but electric Francis Doe crashed his way through the Revolution backs in the first minute and immediately challenged with a quick flick into the box. Luckily, Avery John snuffed out the threat as he poked the ball away.

Though the Red Bulls came out charging, the proceedings settled down after the fifth minute, as the hard artificial surface at Giants Stadium produced the ubiquitous hyperactive bounces that both teams failed to control in many instances.

Accordingly, the Revs’ first legitimate threat appeared in 21st minute from none other than the dead ball, as they were awarded a free kick from about 35 yards out. Steve Ralston booted it right in the path of Claudio Reyna, and though the blocked kick directly went to Jeff Larentowicz nearby, the follow up comically hit Reyna yet again, and the threat soon dissipated.

Still failing to attack from the run of play, the Revs took advantage of another dangerous free kick in the 22nd minute. Ralston this time looped a curling ball to Taylor Twellman as the striker rose above his mark to head it point blank past Waterreus. 1-0 Revs.

Coincidentally, the Red Bulls unsuccessfully tried borrow the blueprints on the Revolution goal when Reyna launched a free kick that met the skull of Doe, who headed the ball wide of net in the 25th minute.

Then, in a pressure-cooker sequence, the Energy Drinks crashed the Revolution end when they put together a dangerous attack in the 35th minute that ended in a shot saved by Reis. On the ensuing corner kick, Juan Pablo Angel beat the keeper but Michael Parkhurst, playing inside the far post, thumped it right back out to keep the equalizer at bay for the time being.

But Parkhurst couldn’t preserve the goose egg alone in the 37th minute when the Red Bull attack finally reached its boiling point. Dane Richards bravely took Avery John one-on-one on the right and lifted a perfect ball to Doe, sitting right on Reis’ doorstep, and nailed home the equalizer.

New York began the second half much like the first, and controlled the bouncing ball almost at will, which forced Reis to bail out his teammates on a couple of quick Red Bull attacks. Though the defending corps dangerously bent, the keeper managed to keep the proceedings tied for much of second half.

During a seemingly innocuous sequence in the 70th minute, New York defender Chris Leitch swept a ball right to a teammate deep in his end. But the ball was grossly misplayed, and Twellman, still retreating upfield, intercepted it, took a quick touch, slid the ball toward the far post, and into the net. 2-1 Revs.

Now masters of their own destiny with the one-goal advantage, the Revs tried to solidify their defending for the remaining twenty minutes.

But with only six more minutes left in regulation, Angel broke free and went barreling forward all alone on Reis, and deftly put the ball right past the keeper for the equalizer.

Curiously, the final minutes took the appearance of a Quentin Tarantino flick – unpredictable with lots of violence, as both clubs traded possession and fouls. For reasons unknown, Richards took down Shalrie Joseph hard just after the Grenadan cleared the ball out. Then, Larentowicz and Reyna began to trade elbows and shoves alike soon after. Even Angel, who was awarded an early yellow, brazenly bated the opposition with a few shoves. With a fun filled four additional minutes of stoppage time, anything was liable to happen to either side.

Unfortunately, stoppage time was about as funny as “Get Fuzzy” for Twellman, who suffered what appeared to be a bothersome leg injury. The gritty forward, never one to call for a substitution, was writhing in pain and had to be taken out for Wells Thompson two minutes into stoppage time.

Adding insult to injury, James Riley was called for a questionable foul deep in the Red Bulls end, giving New York one final chance for the go-ahead. Angel took the free kick from 30 yards, but the Revolution wall astutely blocked it, as the ball never approached the area. The match ended seconds later, and the continuously bouncing ball was finally given a well-deserved reprieve.

Stat of the Match, Part 1: The Revs are now 11-1-3 when scoring the first goal this season.

Stat of the Match, Part 2: With Taylor Twellman’s double, the Revolution have now posted back to back games in which one of their own chalks up two goals. Last Saturday, Pat Noonan scored two against FC Dallas.

Stat of the Match, Part 3: Red Bulls Francis Doe, playing in only his second match Saturday night, has only seen action against the Revs this season. His first MLS match: August 25th against New England.

Stat of the Match, Part 4: With Angel’s 84th minute equalizer, the Revs have now allowed the tying or go-ahead goal in the final fifteen minutes four times this season.

Stat of the Match, Part 5: Though they were outshot by New York nearly 2 to 1 (NE-12, NY-21), the Revs managed to salvage a point, despite their 2-4-2 record this season when their opponent outshoots them.

Hidden indicator of the match: During the last two matches played by New York and New England, both team’s pitches had football lines on them, and in both games, the Revolution scored two goals. Moreover, SMS had a serious headache after watching both matches due to said football lines.

Injured Becks gets no love: Gazing upon the local bookstore’s magazine aisle, SMS encountered the cover of Radar, in which Becks and Posh were prominently featured as one of the mag’s “100 Most Overrated” celebrities.

Now, SMS has heard this tired argument before. In fact, pretty much everyone who’s ever watched soccer for more than ten minutes has. No one who knows the game disputes that Beckham isn’t the best player in the world right now. At one point, during the late-90s and early-2000s, an argument could be made that he was one of the top ten players in the world at the time. But now, it’s obvious that although he’s till quite good, he’s not in anyone’s top-10.

However, the funny thing is that this argument is at least five years old. The claim that Becks is overrated is a lot like stating that Paris Hilton has just become a no-talent attention whore. Tell us something that we don’t already know. Yes, Beckham is overrated as a player, but who is going to knowledgably say that Becks is one of the best players in the world. He’s not. We know this. What’ll you tell us next, Radar? That Britney Spears is an unfit mother?

(Note: Interestingly, for the second consecutive year, a certain Sunday Morning Striker did not appear in this issue of Radar, and thus dispelling any discussions that he is overrated as a soccer journalist.)

Final York Revolution update: The “other” Revolution, they of the Atlantic Baseball League, finished second in their division to close out their very first season. They finished the second half of their season (the ABL oddly separates records for each half of the season) with a very unrevolutionary 32-31 record, which afforded them a head start on their offseason tee times. Additionally, it allows SMS to emphatically state, for the final time in 2007 that “our Revolution is better than yours!”

SMS Alma Mater update: The Anchorwomen began last week in convincing fashion, as they soundly defeated intrastate rivals Salve Regina, 5-1. SMS took in the proceedings at RIC Soccer Field, and during the second half counted…one…two….three times in which the Seahawks meandered past the half-way line toward the RIC goal. Jessica Cardinal netted a double, and Brittney Godbout collected three points (1 goal, 2 assists) in the victory.

Hoping to ride the momentum of their five-goal effort, the Anchorwomen looked to seal another victory against UMass-Dartmouth Saturday afternoon. RIC got on the board first courtesy of a Godbout goal in the 44th minute, but UMass tied it in the second half from a Sarah Killingbeck goal at the hour mark. The two clubs then headed to overtime knotted at one, but Killingbeck struck again in the 97th minute, giving the Corsairs the eventual 2-1 voctory.

US Women’s National Team feature: In case you haven’t noticed by now – and if you haven’t, shame on you – the US Women are playing in the FIFA Women’s World Cup, and are heavy favorites to win it all.

Last week, during their final group match, Lori Chalupny scored in the very first minute against Nigeria, and the game ended 1-0 in favor of the US. Though the match appeared to be a cakewalk on paper, pitting #1 US against #23 Nigeria, the opposition did well to neutralize Abby Wambach and Kristine Lilly, while also testing Hope Solo with some wicked shots. Nevertheless, the win clinched first place in Group B, and a date against England the following Saturday.
Saturday arrived, and in the first half, England had the US’s backs against the wall, and dominated possession, though they were unlucky to find the back of the net. In the second half, the US finally appeared, and scored three goals in the course of a wild 12-minute span that saw Abby Wambach (48’), Shannon Boxx (57’), and Kristine Lilly (60’) all score. With the victory, the US advanced to the semifinals, and will face Brazil on Thursday.

Join us again after the Colorado match in which SMS makes few more inane points, lists a few crazy stats, and will advise of the soccer gods’ decision on the song girls idea, as well as touch upon the concept of “Revolution” weather. Remember, no one is forcing you to read this! Plus, SMS always backs all of his claims and opinions with the iron-clad guarantee of 100% correct, or the next one’s free. Got a question, comment, or deeply-held grievance? Send an e-mail to SMSRevs@gmail.com. Please know that Sunday Morning Striker may, just may, choose your e-mail on a completely arbitrary basis for publishing right here on Revsnet.com.

Sunday Morning Striker: Revs blast FC Dallas, 4-2 - No videotape required!

Unless you’ve been hiding under a rock or recently awoken from a lengthy coma, you’ve surely been inundated with the news of Bill Belichick’s less-than-savvy video surveillance tactics. Reportedly, the Pats head coach sent a video assistant to film their opponents’ defensive coaches in an attempt to decipher their defensive signals at halftime.

The shrewd undertaking committed by one of the best head coaches in NFL history has certainly left the region buzzing about the embarrassment and shame this incident has cast on the New England Patriots organization. It’s one thing to be clever – within the rules. But after the NFL specifically addressed this type of incident during the preseason, everyone in the league was well aware of the crackdown that would soon follow on the practice of videotaping the opponent’s sideline.

Luckily, Sunday Morning Striker has it under good authority that Revolution manager Steve Nicol has not resorted to such unsportsmanlike methods.

But, as he often likes to do on Friday afternoons at the office, SMS began to imaginalize: What if Nicol did unleash an anonymous Revolution employee to scour the secrets and strategy of FC Dallas during this weekend’s match? (cue the Wayne's World "doo-doo-doo-doo...doo-doo-doo-doo..")

After tough first half, the players and coaches head to the locker room, whereby Anonymous Revs Employee hands over an ominous tape, the contents of which could be potentially damaging to the former Dallas Burn.

Nicol (pointing to the VCR): Laddy, cue the tape.

Audio: "Can you believe the hotel rooms? Two words: mini-bar."...."I dunno, he was saying something about his girlfriend's missing panties..." "Wrecked'em? Damn near killed him!"

Nicol: Fast forward it a bit...

Audio: "I am stuck on band aid brand cuz band aid's stuck on me..." "...The Foxy Lady? How far is Providence from here?"

Nicol (clearly agitated): a little further...

Audio: "Fifth row...third seat from the left...blonde hair..." "Nice..." "Damn, I got burned by both Stephen Jackson and Drew Brees did nothing for me last week? 16 combined points? What the ---"

Nicol: Bloody hell! (Ejects the tape and slams it to the ground.)

(End imaginatory sequence)

So, as you can tell, this premise would fail to accomplish much, if anything, in soccer. The audio, though intermittently entertaining, would only lend itself for blackmailing purposes.

Wait a minute...maybe it would work in soccer!

Back to reality, a revitalized Revolution attack warmed the cool New England air Saturday night, as they emphatically throttled FC Dallas 4-2.

While the Revs had been soundly defeated by DC United in the nation’s capital less than a week previous, the supporters must have arrived at Gillette Stadium wondering whether a repeat performance was about to occur.

Adding more uncertainty was the fact that manager Steve Nicol had to watch this one from the locker room, as his red card during last week’s loss resulted in suspension from this match. Temporarily taking over the Revolution reigns was none other than the Ipswich Town legend himself, Paul Mariner.

Any such fears of an encore were not easily erased when Dallas’ (herein after “the Gondoliers” for their red-striped kits) potent trio of Carlos Ruiz, Abe Thompson, and newly-acquired Brazilian playmaker Denilson stalked the eastern end of the pitch. Yet, the trio of Avery John, James Riley, and Michael Parkhurst kept them at bay early on.

Though the backs kept their end of the bargain, it was the forwards that had to deliver as well if the club was to pocket a critical three home points. Pat Noonan answered the call when he took a pass from Khano Smith on the left flank and flicked the ball into top shelf for the opening goal of the match in the 29th minute.

The Gondoliers turned their attention toward salvaging the equalizer in the 35th minute when Dax McCarty launched a long, floating free kick into a hive of striped and navy gentlemen. As the players all jockeyed for the ball, it was Ruiz – el pescado - who impeccably timed his jump and headed it right into the back of the net. (Note: I wonder the Spanish word for – ah, forget it)
Steve Morrow’s boys kept the pressure on the backs yet again during a mad scramble in front of the net when the ball dangerously bounced around like a Mexican jumping bean. Then, when it appeared that the final bounce appeared goalward, Parkhurst ended the chaos by athletically heading the ball over the bar in the 37th minute.

With SMS’s bladder about to burst due to a couple of Aquafinas and a pre-match soft drink, he hoped for a quick Revolution strike to put them up before the close of the first frame. Minutes later, the whistle mercifully blew - but without the hoped-for goal.

Now, SMS is going to share with you a secret of his. During halftime, I feel the need to stretch the legs and leave the confines of his generously-sized, cupholder-equipped throne from his section 102 dwelling. In order to accomplish this, I walk down the East ramp to the ProShop, where he is tempted to purchase numerous Revolution items and apparel. The ongoing question is “do I need this?” as he touches various jerseys, hats, and hoodies. Successfully keeping my impulsive buying habits at bay –therapy has done wonders - I returned to my seat, and like the homer that he always is, hoped for a gaggle of Revolution goals in the second half.

It looked promising early. The Revs had taken control of possession in the opening minutes of Half Two, as the attack “ooohed” and “ahhhhed” the crowd with a few prolonged possessions in FC Dallas real estate, but these endeavors failed to produce.

However, their efforts were rewarded in the 65th minute during a hasty counterattack which saw the ball transferred between Jeff Larentowicz and Steve Ralston, who paced close by on the right. Ralston took the pass from Larentowicz, and devilishly pushed the ball middle to Pat Noonan, who one-timed it past Dario Sala for the double.

Goal number three nearly came in the 74th minute when Taylor Twellman tried to join his strike partner on the scoresheet by taking the ball mere yards in front of Sala. But, Drew Moor stood his mark up, and smothered the attempt before it even approached his keeper.

The Revs continued to press, and with less than fifteen minutes in regulation, a frustrating scene occurred when no less than four Revolution players touched the ball within ten yards of the box – and no shot to show for it. Amid the tantalizing affair, Ralston burrowed through defenders, took a close pass from Twellman, and fired the ball off of Aaron Pitchkolan. Undeterred, the captain cleaned followed up on the deflection, re-acquired the ball, and fed the goalmouth at minute 78.

A touch of late-match drama unfolded when Ruiz struck again from a quick pass from Dominic Oduro and quickly headed it top-shelf, thus narrowing the gap to one goal in the 84th minute.
The goal energized the Hoops, but their aggression on offense left them painfully out of position in the 90th minute when Smith corralled a deflected ball yards before the box and powerfully heeled it inside the far post for the final goal of the match just before regulation expired.

Stat of the Match, Part 1: The Revs scored four goals for the first time since they scored four against Toronto FC back on April 14th.

Stat of the Match, Part 2: Khano Smith scored his first goal in nearly a year. His last one came on October, 14 2006 vs. Columbus.

Stat of the Match, Part 3: FC Dallas hasn’t won at Gillette Stadium in over four years. Their last win at the Razor came on July 16, 2003.

Stat of the Match, Part 4: The Revs tallied three yellow cards during a five-minute span during the closing minutes, when Adam Cristman (83’), Shalrie Joseph (86’) and Matt Reis (88’) all received bright yellow presents from referee Kevin Stott.

Stat of the Match, Part 5: The Revs will face FC Dallas again on October 3rd for the U.S. Open Cup Final. With their win Saturday night, New England is now 19-9-1 all-time vs. FC Dallas.

Random Soccer Related thought: Shalrie Joseph and Asante Samuel – separated at birth?

The OH-BAY-BEE Sweet Play of the Match: Khano Smith twice turned Gondolier defenders down the left flank, but the most notable one occurred in the 43rd minute. After taking a pass from Parkhurst, the Tall One, being closely marked by Pablo Ricchetti, turned him left as the Bermudan went right and fired a shot on Sala. Though the shot was stopped, the play was sweet. SMS was amazed to see young kids waving t-shirts and hoodies in approval despite the cool temperatures.

G-Unit signs a DPA before the September 15th roster freeze: While the Revs were busy booking plane tickets back to Serbia for Dusan Petkovic, the soon-to-be-signed-before-injuring-his-ankle defender, G-Unit made a monster signing by agreeing to terms with rap star Jim Jones. The move is significant because of Jones’ street cred paired with catchy lyrics.

This signing got SMS wondering: what if the Revs signed a big name soccer star? Oh wait a minute…that would actually require paying more than the going rate for rookies and sophomores. SMS’s bad…

Adam Cristman can’t find Uzbekistan…for real: After sorting through Thursday’s mail, SMS was pleasantly surprised to find the Revolution’s own Adam Cristman in Sports Illustrated’s “The Pop Culture Grid” section. Among the categories, the rookie forward says that Lindsay Lohan was his favorite celebrity scandal of the summer, Red Stripe is his favorite beer, and “Goodnight Moon” was his favorite book as a child.

In the same section, Rapids midfielder Pablo Mastroeni offered his own PG-13 responses: One Night in Paris was the last DVD he bought, his dad’s magazine stash was listed under “Favorite book as a child”, and finally, with the summer over, Pablo can now “ditch (his) banana hammock.” Ugh, after reading that, SMS just vomited in his mouth a little bit.

SMS Alma Mater Soccer update: The RIC women had three matches on the schedule this week. The first one, a home match vs. the U.S. Coast Guard Academy on Tuesday, was postponed due to torrential rain.

The second match, also at home to Wheaton College on Thursday night, was a disheartening affair that featured an overwhelmed home side doing their best to keep the 15th ranked Lyons at bay. Unfortunately, RIC fell hard to Wheaton, 5-0.

On Saturday, they traveled to UMass-Boston and played the Beacons up in the Hub, where they returned to their winning ways, taking a 4-1 victory. Laurie Lindsay chalked up a double, as teammates Brittney Godbout and Jessica Cardinal each tallied a goal in the Anchorwomen win.

Revs wish for home crowds like that seen at Wednesday’s Brazil-Mexico match: Yours truly was present for Wednesday night’s Brazil-Mexico match, and was absolutely floored when he entered the stadium to find over 67,000 fans on hand to watch a soccer game. Yes, this was truly an amazing sight, one that I had never witnessed in person, as I stared in awe upon a sea of canary yellow surrounding the pitch.

Interestingly, there were also a few Revolution players also present for the match, and stated that they had wished the same turnouts for their matches. An insightful piece from The Boston Globe’s Frank Dell’Apa detailed the same:

"It was unbelievable, from the time we got there 30 minutes before the game," said midfielder Shalrie Joseph, a native of Grenada who has played more than 10 international matches for his national team. "It was one of those atmospheres that as a soccer player you'd love to play in.”

Of course, it would be ideal to see these types of crowds at Revolution matches. But the organization did itself no favors that night - there was little advertising or promotion of the Revs during the match. In fact, I overheard some spectators nearby ask whether there was a pro team that played here.

The Revs front office could have easily promoted the club before 67,000 hardy soccer souls, but for unknown reasons, bypassed this golden opportunity. The only hint that pro soccer team played at Gillette was a breif flashing of the Revolution logo during halftime, without any mention of ticket deals, prices, or any other pertinent info. And people wonder why there aren’t more fans for Revs games…

SMS Monthly Book Recommendation: For those of you who may wonder what the big fuss about David Beckham is about, pick up John Carlin’s “White Angels: Beckham, Real Madrid, and the New Football.”

The book is exceptionally written, and the author’s personal football allegiance to Real Madrid gives the story a unique personal touch. In addition, it also explains Beckham’s worldwide popularity, the characters behind the scenes of the world’s most visible (note: profitable) side, and the human element of how a group of superstars like Zidane, Ronaldo, and Becks, despite their amazing collective talent, can fail against lesser sides.

US Women’s National Team feature: The women played a tough match against North Korea on Tuesday, as they drew 2-2 during a rain-soaked affair. Abby Wambach and Heather O’Reilly scored during what could be argued as the most competitive match this year for our women.

Three days later, the Americans faced the aesthetically-pleasing Swedish squad under drier conditions, and easily beat them 2-0. Wambach struck again, this time with a pair of goals, giving the US a critical three points in group play, thus placing them atop the Group B standings with North Korea.

The women will kick off against Nigeria on Tuesday morning at a more reasonable 8:00am local time, as opposed to the prior 5:00am start times for the North Korea and Sweden matches. For those of you who care, I diaried both matches from my lovely living room couch before the sun came up. Needless to say, my work productivity slipped this past week.

Join us again after the New York match, where SMS will report back on what facial expressions Bruce Arena will have cooked up for the camera. That alone should be entertaining. But like you, SMS is greedy – I want the goofy reactions and the three points! Perhaps the stars will be correctly aligned for both! Additionally, I will detail another no-fail idea of how the Revs can bring more fans to Foxboro.

Got a question, comment, or deeply-held grievance? Send an e-mail to SMSRevs@gmail.com. Please know that Sunday Morning Striker may, just may, choose your e-mail on a completely arbitrary basis for publishing right here on Revsnet.com.

Sunday Morning Striker: DC is Vic Mackey, and the Revs were just token One-Niners

Can you believe that summer’s practically over? Sunday Morning Striker can’t. With the lifeguards on Rhode Island state beaches already having blown their whistles at brazen swimmers and sea gull chasers for the last time, SMS sat on his back porch yesterday, reflecting on a summer that undoubtedly breezed past us much too quickly.

Its is here in New England, where summer unofficially lasts from Memorial Day to Labor Day, that many vacationers sprawl to the region during the summer months with hotel and car reservations set for such destinations as Martha’s Vineyard, Cape Cod and Nantucket. It's been said that New England, with its warm weather and picturesque beaches is in the fact the ideal summer vacation spot - and far be it from me to disagree with such notable vacationers as past Presidents (Clinton and the Bushes) and celebrities (David McCullough, Paul McCartney, Bill Belichick).

And talk about spectacular weather! It was largely rain-free for the most part - no doubt the reservoirs and lawns suffered. Despite the lack of rain, there were no lengthy water bans to speak of in the southeastern sector, which almost becomes a rite of passage in recent summers. New Englanders were truly blessed with weeks upon weeks of beautiful weather during these past few months. Sure, it was humid and unquenchably hot at times, but then again, it’s summer. It’s supposed to be hot!

There really is nothing quite like summer in New England, and watching the Revolution play on the warm summer afternoons and nights is a huge added bonus. (Note: SMS is of the opinion that MLS should not align its season calendar to EPL and other European leagues. Rest assured, this topic will be addressed in a future article.) Of course, these summer months of watching soccer are naturally sweetened when your clubs flirts with first place, and having its tickets punched US Open Cup Finals is like the bubble gum at the center of the blowpop.

Plus, being treated to Ireland-Paraguay, CONCACAF Gold Cup matches, and of course, a visit from bench-ridden Beckham and the L.A. Galaxy only made the summer that much more memorable. Granted, although the time has come to store away the brightly colored polo shirts and Tony Montana white pants in favor of darker hues and dungarees, let’s not soon forget what a wonderful time this summer was.

And guess what? It’s also back to school for all you educational types! Guess who isn’t going back? The Sunday Morning Striker! Hahahaha, suckers! (Note: I kid, I kid - SMS is currently undertaking massive plans to return to school to obtain his Master’s degree in English come Spring 2008.)

Lastly, in conjunction with summer’s departure, it’s worth mentioning my nomination for The Summer Anthem – you know, that radio-friendly tune that gets played so often during the months between June and August that you can’t escape it anywhere on the FM dial. For SMS, that song was Rihanna’s “Umbrella”, which will forever evoke memories of Summer of ’07 for yours truly.

Anyway, the leaves are already beginning to turn their brilliant colors here in Rhode Island, and will falling weeks thereafter. But before they do, let's enjoy the last few weeks of hospitable September weather. What’s that? Only three regular season home matches left!?! Aiiiiyeeeeeeeeeeee!

In other news, DC United and Revs kicked off on Sunday afternoon under sticky, late-summer conditions at RFK Stadium, with only one point between them in the Eastern Conference. The last time these teams faced off, the United absolutely dismantled a hapless Revolution side to the tune of 3-0 back on August 5.

You may recall that the Black and Red began the season as slumbering giants while the rest of the East played hopscotch and dodgeball around them. Now they’ve awakened, and they’re in a baaaaaad mood –kind of like Michael Chiklis in The Shield. Remember when Chiklis once played the part of Tony Scali, an affable, pasty police commissioner in the early-90s drama The Commish? That was what DC was during the opening matches of the 2007 MLS schedule -lovable and unthreatening. Now? They’ve transformed themselves into the slimmed-down, ask-questions-later crime fighter. Let’s just say you don’t want to be Terry Crowley or a One-Niner on Vic Mackey’s watch. Did you see what Vic did to Guardo in Season 6? That’s pretty much what DC did to FC Dallas in Dallas last week. Yeah, you read that score line right: 4-0, DC United. So with DC’s guns blazing and Miranda Rights long forgotten, what would this mean for the Revs going into Sunday’s match? Let’s find out.

(Note: the Revs kicked off the first half sporting their road whites, which appeared to have boded well for the side considering the especially hot and humid temps and DC’s astonishing decision to wear their heat-absorbing black unis. Then again, this may have worked perfectly given the above comparison to Mackey, who has an affinity for wearing a black leather jacket in sunny southern California, the locale where The Shield is set.)

Despite the scientifically-proven advantage, the Revs nearly met disaster in the 3rd minute when DC’s Mark Burch swept a grenade into the box that Avery John chested down dangerously near the goal mouth with United’ Josh Gros buzzing nearby before Michael Parkhurst skied the ball out of harm’s way.

Minutes later, Cristian Gomez fouled Steve Ralston a few yards before the box, leading to a free kick for the Revs in the 10th minute. Despite the favorable spot, Ralston was unable to convert the attempt, as the ball sailed well over the goal.

Soon after, Emilio streaked through the Revs midfield after Shalrie Joseph coughed up the ball. The Brazilian marched forward and fired a rocked that fortunately bounced off the side netting.
By the 21st minute, Steve Nicol was commenting that both teams were playing “average football”, which may have been a kind assessment, since it appeared the match had more of a DC flavor than a Revolution aftertaste.

But by the half hour mark, it became increasingly apparent that the Mackey-like home side was in first place, as they continued to attack and intimidate within the guest suite, threatening to confiscate the opening goal. And they did just that in the 31st minute when Fred harnessed a gorgeous pass from Jaime Moreno right before the box, and fired the ball right past Reis for the one-nil advantage.

With the scoreboard smiling in DC’s favor, the Revs tried to find the equalizer amid the muggy conditions. Off a free kick in the 37th, Ralston unleashed a threatening pass into the box that somehow found Jay Heaps, who was able to take the bouncing ball and flail a low-voltage shot on net before midfielder Devon McTavish headed the ball above the bar to safety.

The Revs created yet another opportunity in the 40th minute when Khano Smith whipped a nice pass forward to Taylor Twellman, who headed the ball toward the far post. Unfortunately, said post, like any nonsentient entity, coldly denied the attempt, and the Revs frustratingly trotted back upfield soon after.

As time began to wane in the first half, and the tide appearing to have turned in the Revolution’s favor, Smith barreled down the left before unleashing a swift pass to Twellman. This time, Twellman took the pass, turned, and cleverly rocketed the ball in mid-air past Troy Perkins in the 45th minute. 1-1, Anyone’s match.

SMS won’t lie – he flipped the channel to USA-Brazil during halftime. Hoping to catch a glimpse of Bob Bradley’s boys as the local eleven sipped Gatorade in the locker room between halves, SMS was quietly swearing under his breath at the timing of the match. Unfortunately, it was a lot of pregame stuff, and when the match commenced, the second half in DC almost kicked off almost simultaneously.

The momentum amazingly salvaged prior to the finish of the first half, the Revs tried to do their best to keep the match under their control in frame two. In minute 48, Twellman took a deflected Smith pass off of Bryan Namoff and passed it right to his striking partner Pat Noonan, who misfired on the shot well off net.

Keeping the pressure on the United backs, Ralston laced an outswinging corner kick in the 55th minute that fortuitously deflected off of Bausch toward the goalmouth. Amid a fury of black and white shirted players, Jay Heaps footed the ball past the goal line for the go-ahead tally. 2-1, Revs.

At the hour mark, DC suddenly regained their offensive form as Gomez sent a pass forward to Luciano Emilio in the box. The Brazilian quickly turned to his left and pushed the ball toward to Moreno, whose quick shot was adeptly stuffed by a crashing Heaps. But the ball serendipitously deflected back to Moreno and only one man to beat this time – Reis himself- Moreno chipped the ball into the twine for the equalizer. 2-2, Anyone’s match.

Riding a tsunami of offensive chances, DC counterattacked in the 68th minute as Ben Olsen charged down the right flank and skipped a pass back toward Gomez sitting in the middle of the box. The striker deftly took it, and shot hard into traffic before the ball deflected off of Emilio and into the back of the net. 3-2, DC.

After the goal, Nicol became instantly heated, both literally and figuratively, and vehemently protested that a foul should have been called on Olsen against Smith just moments before he took the pass from Moreno. Referee Abby Oklulaja felt the criticism was especially undeserved, and casually sent the gaffer to the showers prematurely for the R-rated remonstration.

With two fresh subs (mmmm…subs) in for the Revs, one such sub- Wells Thompson – hooked a ball from the left toward Twellman, who immediately played it toward Ralston on his right. Unluckily, Ralston wound up and fired the shot just wide of goal in the 76th minute.

In an effort to reignite the attack, Paul Mariner, coaching in Nicol’s absence, inserted speedster Sainey Nyassi in the 83rd minute.

And no sooner did SMS finish off the previous sentence when Brian Carroll raced down the left flank and kicked a pass right toward a gatecrashing Emilio, who powerfully headed the ball into the back of the net in the 83rd minute. 4-2, DC, and SMS was hearing.

The Revs were given a token four minutes of stoppage time, but failed to find the necessary two goals needed to draw. Once the final whistle mercifully blew, DC had padded their first place lead with an additional three points over their rivals to the North.

Stat of the Match, Part 1: In three matches thus far, the Revs have acquired exactly one point against the United.

Stat of the Match, Part 2: Before Sunday afternoon, the last time the Revs tallied multiple goals (excluding own goals) was back on August 2 vs. Kansas City (2-0).

Stat of the Match, Part 3: The last time the Revs coughed up four goals in a match was back on May 26th vs. Kansas City (4-3).

Stat of the Match, Part 4: Matt Reis has a 3.00 goals against average against DC this season. Against the rest of the league, his GAA is 0.66.

Stat of the Match, Part 5: DC’s Luciano Emilio has now scored four goals in two matches versus New England this season. However, SMS can confirm that there is no truth to the rumor that Jay Heaps said afterward “I guess I have to just tip my cap and call Luciano Emilio my daddy.”

The AND1 OH BAY-BEE Play of the Match: Readers, SMS has betrayed you by failing to note these types of plays in which youngsters wave their tees in the air as if there are no repercussions. Though he couldn’t discern one particular play of this variety Sunday afternoon, SMS was impressed with MLS debutant Sainey Nyassi, and his trademark speed in the waning minutes of play.

True, Nyassi is a just a newcomer with much to prove before his induction ceremony in Oneonta, but SMS was excited every time the Gambian touched the ball. Mark my words: Sainey Nyassi will become a bonafide MLS star before long.

Mexico-Brazil at Gillette Stadium: Forgive my flair for the dramatic, but Wednesday, September 12, 2007 will go down as one of the most important days in the annals of the Sunday Morning Striker. For on this day, SMS will bear witness to two of the world’s greatest players: Brazil’s supremely-talented Kaka and Ronaldinho.

The occasion may unfold to become a story the grandkids about given Brazil’s scarcity in the region - this will mark only the second time in over fourteen years that Brazil has visited New England. The last time was back in June 1993, for the U.S. Open tournament, when A Selecao faced off against the US in New Haven, CT.

Why 50 Cent will never play left back for the Revs…or any other team: Recently, TMZ.com, an occasional guilty pleasure of SMS, reported that Fiddy was brushed up a bit by a Tyra Banks bodyguard on the “Fashion Rocks” red carpet, to which the Vitamin Water pitchin’ rapper got ticked and angrily retorted, “What the (bleep) is wrong with you? How are you gonna bump me?” said the muscle-bound, already-been-shot-at-nine-times rapper in response to the push.

With a reaction like that, it’s fair to say that oft-fouled (and borderline assaulted at times) Taylor Twellman is more of a man than Curtis Jackson.

Yeah, it’s almost autumn, but seriously, it’s way too soon for this stuff: SMS eyeballed a “Make their holiday wishes come true” Christmas banner at the top of “My eBay” page. Last I checked, there were still 105 shopping days left ‘til Christmas. Yikes.

SMS Alma Mater Soccer update: Yes, after nearly two months without regular updates of local sides not named the Revolution (the fortunes of the RI Stingrays were previously chronicled by Saturday Morning Striker), the college soccer season is well underway, providing fodder for regular updates.

In order to avoid any ambiguity, SMS will state for the record that he attended two colleges during his late-teens and early-twenties: Community College of Rhode Island and Rhode Island College.

Now, with that being said, it’s pretty hard keeping track of one club, nevermind four clubs (both schools have men’s and women’s soccer – it is the 21st century, after all). So, I’m defaulting to one club: the side that SMS watched for very first college soccer match. The club that SMS has officially adopted to update for the masses is…the Rhode Island College women’s team, colloquially known as the Anchorwomen! Yes, they are the lucky few that get a regular plug from the Sunday Morning Striker himself! It’s a wonderful day to be an Anchorwoman!

Ahem…on to the action…the Anchorwomen tied 2-2 to St. John Fisher College during their August 31st season opener at the generically-named RIC Soccer Field in Providence, RI. Lindsay Laurie and Gina Calenda scored for the good guys in a game that, despite the final score, was completely dominated by the home side.

Four days later, the Anchorwomen tasted victory in another fantastic performance in which they scored four goals over Johnson and Wales University, with a final of 4-1.

Finally, on Saturday afternoon, they dropped their first match of the season at Clark University, 3-1. Jessica Cardinal scored an early goal for the guests, but it was all Clark Cougars after that, with three unanswered goals thereafter. The Anchorwomen currently hold a particularly linear 1-1-1 record, and look to clinch victory on Tuesday when they face off against the U.S. Coast Guard Academy at RIC Soccer Field. Take a guess who will be in attendance?

For those of you who wish to jump on the Anchorwomen bandwagon while there’s still room, you can catch all of their home games live and in living color at the official RIC Athletics website (www.ric.edu/athletics).

As side note, I highly encourage you - if you’ve never done so - to head over to your alma mater and support the school’s student-athletes, whichever school or sport it may be. I can tell you from a personal standpoint that my heart filled with so much pride as I sat atop the aluminum bleachers, watching my fellow RIC classmates on the pitch. I’m truly humbled and proud to report on their 2007 season.

US Women’s National Team Feature: Hope you have your coffee supply is stocked and the bagels in fridge are fresh, because tomorrow morning’s Women's World Cup match vs. North Korea kicks off at 4:55am ET. If you’re a die-hard like myself, you will bypass your buddy TiVo on this one and wake up with the birds and catch the game as it unfolds.

SMS recalls a quote from his favorite comic book title as a teen – Generation X – in which Jubilee stated to Husk, her early-rising teammate, “Only garbage men and psychos are up this early…” Since we all know SMS’s profession cannot be categorized as “sanitation engineer”, I suppose that makes me a psycho. But we already knew this, right?

Join us back soon after the FC Dallas match at Gillette Stadium, where SMS hopes to be discussing victory rather than defeat. Though victory is crucial in these late-season affairs in which few points separate first and fourth place, don’t forget: this is also preview of the U.S. Open Cup Final, which will take place in Frisco, TX (which is, in fact, Dallas for MLS purposes) on October 3rd. Therefore, a hearty thrashing of the Hoops is in order come Saturday night to set the tone for the rematch in October.

Sunday Morning Striker: Belated and Abbreviated...Revs beat Red Bulls, 2-1

Under a hazy New England dusk, the Revs and Red Bulls kicked off Saturday night’s match with a mere six points between them in the Eastern Conference standings.

With the football-lined pitch as their springboard, the Revs immediately broke deep into the New York end when Adam Cristman paced down the right wing and flicked a quick shot to the left of Jon Conway, who hauled it in with ease in the first minute.

The local lads continued to attack and in the eighth minute, nearly saw their early efforts rewarded when a fully-recovered-from-the-flu Steve Ralston looped a dazzling corner that was thwacked by Jeff Larentowicz point-blank on the Conway piñata in front of the goalmouth.

The Red Bulls finally answered with an attack of their own in the 14^th minute as Matt Reis stepped up and detoured a Jozy Altidore shot that had its ticket booked for the back of the New England net.

Like a well-trained army, Steve Nicol’s boys immediately counterattacked seconds later when Cristman again penetrated the already porous Red Bull defense, and required Conway to once again save his teammates collective neck with a sure-handed save in the 15^th minute.

Amazingly, the guest’s lackadaisical defense almost led to their premature undoing in the 17^th minute. Cristman once again reappeared in the Red Bull area with ball in tow, and in a desperate attempt to abort a dangerous shot, “defender” Chris Leitch tugged away at the rookie’s adidas Climacool kit and brought him down. Referee Baldomero Toledo caught the sour display, and duly awarded the penalty.

In accordance with Revolution PK protocol, Shalrie Joseph lined the ball up the required twelve yards in front of the keeper. The Grenadian took a few steps back, and charged forward with a medium-caliber shot to the left and low that unmercifully clanked off the woodwork, keeping the score knotted at nil-nil.

Soon after the heart-wrenching miss, the clubs played back-and-forth-ball for the next ten (or so) minutes, as the Red Bull attack began to find its footing on the FieldTurf.

Despite being denied previously, Altidore boldly crashed the Revolution area and left Avery John in his wake as the youngin’ pushed the ball past the suddenly-defenseless Reis for the first goal of the game at the 30 minute mark. 1-0, Red Bulls.

Though the Revs attacked early and often, it began to appear that their offensive swagger had hit a bit of a funk until the 42^nd minute. As the home club reassembled their assault, Joseph, centered in the middle of the attack, played the ball wide to Khano Smith on the left. Smith then took a touch, and played a beautiful ball to Taylor Twellman in the box before the striker took a close shot that just missed the net.

Yes, the score was 1-0 in favor of Bruce Arena’s boys, but the tempo of the match almost dictated that the scoreline should have been transposed, as the Revs had largely dominated the first half.

And no sooner did this theory begin to hold water in the opening seconds of Frame Two when, of all players, Reis fired up a quick counterattack when he launched a long ball that cut through the heavy, humid air and crashed near the heels of a fleet-footed Twellman in Red Bull territory. The forward cradled the ball, then weaved through the porous defense, and tapped it into the back of the net, giving the thousands of twelve year old girls on hand reason to screech and cheer, as the score evened at 1-1 in the 46^th minute.

At the hour mark, Nicol made the obligatory Wells Thompson-for-Khano Smith substitution, as the Revs continued to pressure the Red Bull backs.

However, the ever-dangerous Juan Pablo Angel - he of an MLS-second-best 13 goals - snuck through the box before Reis - he of an MLS-best nine shutouts - smothered the threat in the 61^st minute.

In the 67^th minute, the scoreboard still flashed the 1-1 score. Where, oh where, would the go-ahead materialize? Twellman attempted to help the answer the question when he uncharacteristically sent a pass from midfield to a stuck-in-sixth-gear Thompson on the right. The rook tried to cut down his angle before he sent a skipping shot that went wide of the far post.

By the 80^th minute, the home crowd had seen a largely well-played match by their hometown heroes. The entertainment value was already high at this point. But why not throw in a good laugh?

The chortling came unexpectedly after Red Bull substitute Carlos Mendes attempted to play the ball back to his keeper. Unfortunately, the memo must not have fully circulated, as the pass caught Conway flat-footed and well off his line, as the routine dump off slowly trickled into the back corner of the net for the universal punchline of “own goal.” 2-1, Revs.

The score remained 2-1 into stoppage time, and Bruce Arena was sporting that classic "stoic, yet goofy" facial expression he perfected during the 2006 World Cup. Nevertheless, the Red Bulls tried to wipe the egg of their faces on a hasty mini-attack that culminated on a Clint Mathis liner over the bar. Soon after Reis air mailed the goal kick, the match expired, as the Revs collected a well-deserved three points over their Eastern Conference foes.

Well, it’s 12:41am on Monday, and SMS deeply apologizes for getting this witless attempt at humor to you in a length of time that would only make a tortoise proud. He (SMS, not the reptile) just returned from National Soccer Hall of Fame induction ceremonies, and after four-and-a-half hours on the New York and Mass Turnpikes, he’s ready to retire to his bedchamber. Grandpa’s old cough medicine will remain untouched before bed tonight!

Join us after the road DC tilt, where, after nearly two weeks of recuperation, SMS will return in full over-analytical flight. See…zzzzz….you…(clears throat)….zzzz. (Goodnight!)

Sunday Morning Striker: Commentary on an undermanned club...oh, and the Revs beat the Wiz, 1-0!

A few hours before Sunday night’s Revs-Wizards match, SMS quietly meandered through the World Wide Web in search of – what else- knowledge. What kind of knowledge, you ask? Any kind, as long as it’s free.

Unfortunately, though the bit of knowledge SMS had just stumbled across was free, it was troubling to say the least. Frank Dell’Apa of the Boston Globe reported that the Revs would be without the services of Steve Ralston for the second game in a row, following his recuperation from flu-like symptoms. To make matters worse, Pat Noonan would also be out of action as well with a groin strain, thus leaving the Revs deprived of not only two critical players, but also a deviation from their favored formation – the 3-5-2 - as opposed to the more conservative 4-4-2.

Now particular injuries cannot be predicted – however, they are as much a part of sports as post-game groupies, so they (injuries, not groupies) must be planned for. Injuries are never well timed – whether it be at the beginning, middle, or tail end of a season - yet they almost always seem to strike at the worst possible moments. That’s why it’s essential for a club to carry capable reinforcements.

Rookies Wells Thompson and Adam Cristman took the spots left behind by Ralston and Noonan, respectively. However, beyond these two players, what’s left on the Revolution bench should injury or tactical shift become necessary?

There’s a horde of unproven rookies, with the exception of veteran Marshall Leonard, who has been curiously banished to the role of unused substitution thus far.

But there’s a more glaring problem when the Revs head into any particular match shorthanded. A cursory count of the current roster will lead you to conclude that the Revs are two players short a full roster.

The troubling aspect of this development is that it’s not a recent development. Since the Revs placed Joey Franchino on the season-ending injury list and waived Danny Hernandez back in May, the club has marched on without a full roster. Sure, it’s cute when your starters are healthy and the club sits in first place. But when two critical pieces of the starting eleven fall to injury and/or sickness, the issue of pressing on without a full compliment of players is completely unacceptable.

What kind of outrage would there be in Boston if Theo Epstein kept the Red Sox two players below the 25-man limit? Or if Bill Belichick carried 51 players instead of the 53-man max? Fans would be furious! The sports talk-show circuit would feast on such developments. Yet, the Revs have quietly gone about their business with two empty slots, hoping that the soccer gods would seemingly smile on them with an injury-free season.

How foolish.

Due to the ambiguity in terms of the gentleman who carries the responsibility of filling the roster – much is speculated whether it’s Nicol himself or a cast of front office characters that decide the list - I can only conclude that whoever has the final say should be taken to task.

To carry on while a club’s roster is artificially shrunken for the better part of three months is preposterous, and becomes even more absurd when two starters are unavailable. Troubling as it is, what would happen if another starter went down with a more serious injury – an ailment that required the remainder of the season to heal, for example? What is the contingency plan if Taylor Twellman has to miss a lengthy series of matches due to injury? Who’s going to fill in if Michael Parkhurst is forced to the sidelines for a prolonged amount of time?

Nicol has repeatedly hinted at negotiations with a player of interest since May. Well, it’s now mid-August, and the negotiations are either dead or nonexistent. If a deal was going to be made, it would have been John Hancocked weeks ago. Instead, many are left wondering whether another player will actually be signed before the September 15th MLS roster freeze.

Besides the obvious, a shorthanded team is forced to play conservative football to compensate for the losses. This variety of football is ugly, unaggressive fare, which a first place club like the Revs should have no business in dabbling in whatsoever.

The Revs need to sign two capable players now. At very least, the first priority should be to bring in a veteran playmaker – i.e. a Jose Cancela-type player, both seasoned and creative that, should the Revs be put in the predicament their in right now, the drop-off in play won’t be as dramatic. They have money - the Clint Dempsey transfer fee ensures this. Even aside from that, the club is reportedly well under the $2.1 million MLS salary cap.

There should be no excuse why the roster isn’t completely filled. It shouldn’t take two key injuries to raise the issue, but unfortunately, the awareness of the two-open spots has just become a glaring black hole that could doom the first place club. The organization should have anticipated losses during this critical six-game, seventeen-day stretch. Shame on the powers that be for allowing this situation to carry on as long as it has.

Now, with the soapbox kicked back under the bed, it was time to watch the Revs take on the Wizards. Fortunately for the fans of Kansas City, their club actually carries a full roster. Unfortunately, the pitch at Arrowhead Stadium was gridironed due to Friday’s Dolphins-Chiefs game.

The Revs wasted no time on attack as Taylor Twellman crashed the box and skipped the ball wide of net in the first minute after Wiz keeper Kevin Hartman deflected the ball away. Immediately, the Revs put the Wiz on notice that this was not the same club that curled up in a ball and assumed the fetal position vs. Colorado three days before.

Minutes later, the Revs amped up the attack again when Shalrie Joseph took an Avery John pass and raced into the middle of the home end before shooting a cannonball right on Hartman.

In the ninth minute, the skies began to open up and the rains poured down on the slick pitch, which played into the hands of the road club, who often play a quick-paced attack anyway on the fast surface at Gillette Stadium.

During the 16th minute, Andy Dorman sent a free kick right into the mixer right toward a hard charging Adam Cristman. The rookie striker sent a hard header, but the ball went wide of net.

By the 20-minute mark, the Revs had done well to create the offensive chances absent in the Colorado game, and did well to hold back a potent KC attack. In fact, the only chances early for the Wizards were effectively non-chances, as the club was offside on both occasions.

Proving that the Wizards actually had an offense to speak of, Eddie Johnson streaked down the left flank and attempted to cross the ball into the box, but Michael Parkhurst adeptly rejected the pass out of harm’s way in the 29th minute, and thus the mini-attack fizzled.

Off a corner kick n the 32nd minute, Dorman delivered a nice ball into the box that Jeff Larentowicz curiously out jumped, forcing him to chest the ball wide of the far post.

The Revs continued to play well and controlled the match for the most part by creating chances and playing stout defense on the few occasions that Kansas City managed to hold the ball for more than a few seconds.

Shalrie Joseph sent a well-timed pass forward to an onrushing Larentowicz in the 41st minute until Hartman narrowly beat the Kaiser to the ball as the chance dissipated.

The injury bug struck in the 43rd minute as Jay Heaps fell to the pitch with an apparent leg ailment. Attempting to simply finish off the half, the dependable defender tried to press forward. Mercifully, less than ten seconds of stoppage time transpired, and Heaps was just able to finish the half.

James Riley came in for Heaps in the second frame, and in the 46th minute, and immediately made his mark when he took down Johnson near midfield on a disputed foul call that went against the Revs. Much to the chagrin of Revs color guy Greg Lalas, the affable broadcast partner of Brad Feldman simply stated “That’s a good tackle. If you don’t like that, go back to U-10s.”

The Wizards attacked early twice before the 50th minute, but each one was followed up with the sobering offside call by the linesman.

The Revs reorganized a quick attack in the 53rd minute that saw John send a bending ball from midfield into the box that Larentowicz made a dive at before being pushed to the ground by KC defender. No call was made against the perpetrator, as the Revs headed back on defense.

After a brief spurt of offense from the home side, the Revs reacquired the ball and in the 55th minute Dorman sent in a nice corner kick that was headed tantalizingly over the bar by a leaping Larentowicz stationed close to the near post.

Kansas City then re-appeared in a brief attacking cameo until Jose Burciaga flopped in front of the referee, eliciting a dangerous free kick from the right wing that was heroically punched away by Matt Reis in the 58th minute.

By the hour mark, the play on the slick surface began to sway physically, as Davy Arnaud elbowed Shalrie Joseph near midfield. The tough Grenadian got back to his feet soon afterward, and not surprisingly, no card was awarded.

The pain ensured in 64th minute, Kerry Zavagnin was fouled at the doorstep of the box and KC was awarded a dangerous free kick from 18 yards out. Carlos Marinelli launched a rocket right on Twellman, who writhed in pain after the ball hit him in a less-than-desirable location.

The KC attack began to pick up additional steam in the 68th minute when Marinell sent in a dangerous cross to Eloy Colombano, who headed the ball just outside the far post amid a group of disorganized Revolution backs.

The offensive tide appeared to turn in favor of the home club by the 72nd minute until Joseph delivered a beautiful ball to Khano Smith who paced down the left with a clear shot on goal. With Twellman streaking toward the box, Smith sent a perfect ground ball to the onrushing striker, who slid home the ball into the net for the goal at 9:32pm ET.

The pressure to preserve the lead and ultimately three points on the road would fall on the backs (no pun intended) of the Revolution defenders. However, Smith had no such allusions of playing straight defense in the 79th minute when he fired a rocket yards in front of Hartman that hissed wide of the woodwork.

The Revs put on a defensive clinic in the waning minutes of regulation and although extra time was prolonged due to a scary on-air collision near the top of the box between Jimmy Conrad and Joseph, the Wizards failed to muster a single shot, as the Revs pocked a crucial three points, 1-0.

Stat of the Match, Part 1: Including the US Open Cup tilt on August 8, the Revs posted a 4-2-0 during their grueling six-games-in-seventeen-days stretch.

Stat of the Match, Part 2: The Revs recorded three corner kicks in the first ten minutes of play. In their previous match vs. Colorado, they recorded all of one corner kick during the entire match.

Stat of the Match, Part 3: The Wizards didn’t record their first corner kick until the 74th minute.

Stat of the Match, Part 4: Since their last encounter on August 2, the Revs have played five games, while the Wizards had played zero.

Stat of the Match, Part 5: Despite the lack of offensive prowess, the Wizards were caught offside twice as many times (8) than the Revolution (4).

Hidden sign of the match: The last time Matt Reis wore the all-green keeper ensemble the Revs tied the Houston Dynamo 3-3 at Foxboro on July 22. SMS has no idea what this correlation means, save for the fact that Reis likes to wear green on occasion.

It must have been produced by the same guys who did the Emerald Nuts commercials: Prior to the match, Cox3, the local carrier of TV38 Revolution broadcasts, showed a nutty Revolution-Wizards broadcast spot that went along the lines of “Viva la Revolution” featuring a Spanish-accented narrator with Italian-sounding background music. Additionally, there is a graphic of soccer-player’s profile, with a seemingly vintage, communist-themed background. Huh??? What are you trying to brainwash me to do???

The Delorean is parked outside: Did you see where 66,237 showed up – and not disguised as empty seats, either – for the Red Bull-Galaxy match at Giants Stadium Saturday night?

Wow.

Of course, this shouldn’t be surprising considering these types of crowds are exactly what MLS anticipated when they drafted the designated player allocation rule last year. It’s one thing to anticipate or imagine – but to see it before your very eyes? It’s a special time we, as American soccer fans, live in, one which hasn’t been seen in nearly thirty years.

Furthermore, the match – an entertaining 5-4 home victory for the Energy Drinks – was surely exciting for the newcomers, with the defense somewhere else other than the artificial pitch. On top of that, Beckham not only played the a full ninety, but also was on top of his game, chalking up two assists under the same bright lights that Pele, Giorgio Chinaglia and Franz Beckenbauer all played under in the late-70s.

According to multiple reports, the massive crowd on hand was abuzz with excitement, and espnsoccernet’s Steve Davis went so far as to say that the match was “an instant classic.” SMS wishes he could have attended the affair to witness the spectacle first-hand and experience not only the a slice of the overwhelming fervor, but to also see what it was like back in the heyday of the NASL.

Of course, the large crowd at the Meadowlands also begs the question as to whether Beckham would have served the league better by playing in New York (ok, it’s New Jersey) rather than Los Angeles. Would 66,000+ fans show up for every Red Bull match? We’ll never know. Of course, with Red Bull’s spiffy soccer spec stadium due to be completed next season, the League won't see such turnouts in NY unless the club rents out Giants Stadium for each future Beckham appearance.

If MLS is wise, next season's Red Bull-Galaxy match will be scheduled prior to the opening of Red Bull Park (25,000 seating) while the club still plays in the 82,000 seat Giants Stadium. Should this be the case, SMS will be sure to circle the date of the match and purchase tickets in order to witness the soccer extravaganza.

US Women’s National Team Feature: Angie Woznuk, or "Wozzy" as she likes to be called, is a 22-year old midfielder from sunny San Diego who played or the appropriately named "Surf" soccer team for five years. She recorded her first cap back in 2005 on July 24 vs. Iceland, and although she hasn't recorded a cap since then, she hopes to see a few more minutes during 2007.In 2006 she recorded 13 assists and scored two goals for the Pilots, while playing alongside WNT defender Stephanie Lopez. Her favorite women's soccer player is Julie Foudy, and she aspires to be an X-ray technician, and looks forward to becoming a mom one day - to which SMS awards bonus “wholesome points” for the heartwarming proclamation.

Fewf! The recently-compact Revolution match schedule has finally concluded, not only giving the players a welcome break, but SMS as well. Personally, I haven’t written this much since in such a compact amount of time since my Current Political Thought class back in the ol' college days – and I don’t even get college credits for all this!

In any event, SMS will definitely be doing some R & R as he gears up for both the Red Bull-Revs match and the National Soccer Hall of Fame inductions the following day. Due to this, the post-match submission may be a little light, with the focus squarely on the match and devoid of incessant ranting. Then again, your unwasted brain cells will probably thank me for it!

Sunday Morning Striker: Revs beat Beckham-less Galaxy, 1-0

Boy, it's an exciting time to be a soccer fan right about now, and it could not have come at a more perfect time.

For the past month, a soccer player has been the talk of SportsCenter, Entertainment Tonight, CNN Headlines News, and E! News, among others. Hours upon hours of coverage by both sports and non-sports media outlets have been devoted to a guy who was little more than a blip on the American radar a year ago.

Even though the drabble has had little to do with the player's on-field performances, and more to do with his very public marriage to a former Spice Girl, it is nonetheless brow-raising to hear the likes of Ryan Seacrest, Wolf Blitzer, and Katie Couric all talk about soccer within minutes of each other. Now, the amount of actual soccer knowledge these talking heads actually contain is undoubtedly questionable at best, but to hear them stiffly speak on soccer is often comical.

However, the timing of Becks arrival here could not have been more perfect. Though he signed with the Galaxy back in November, his contract with former club Real Madrid, wasn't set to expire until June 30, thus depriving the Gals of Mr. Posh for the first three months of the MLS season.

Even though the Gals currently hover near the Western Conference cellar, the arrival of Becks was extremely timely for American soccer as a whole. With only baseball and the yawnfest of the NFL preseason on the radar of the American sports public, the Beckham’s grand entrance met little resistance from other major pro sports in the States. Plus, with Americans vacations primarily taking place during the months of July and August, what better time than to catch a soccer game with the wife and kids?

Speaking of Becks, did you see him go toe-to-toe with the best the Revs had to offer? Neither did anyone else! While his newfound club battled the Eastern Conference kings on the non-Beckham endorsed FieldTurf, the English mega star sat the bench during a thrilling affair between ol’ MLS rivals.

The Revs attacked early and often just after the pre-game festivities, which included an screaming F-15 flyover Gillette Stadium. In other words, the Krafts went all out to make this an event, even if Becks bided his time on the pine.

The first signs of life came in the 8th minute when the Revs unleashed a pair of their own F-15s - Pat Noonan and Taylor Twellman - who flew in unison when Noonan crossed a tough pass that Twellman slid into as he was unable to muster enough power to push it past Galaxy keeper Joe Cannon.

Twellman found his nose for the ball once again in the 15th minute when he headed down a long pass and put the ball feet in front of him before he took two steps and rifled the ball wide of goal.


As the Revs pressed and peppered Cannon with shots from both the left and right, it appeared early that the first goal of the match had to be scored by the local lads.

In the 33rd minute, Khano Smith directed a beautiful pass from the left to Twellman before the striker headed the ball over the bar, as the Revs relentlessly attacked and continued to pressure the Gals backs.

With the final seconds ticking away in the first half, Andy Dorman got in on the act and cracked a wicked shot from the top of the box that seared past the post in the 45th minute.

Twellman & Co. kicked off the second half right where they left off in the first with constant pressure in the Galaxy end of the pitch. The home club strung together beautiful sequences of one-touch passing that kept the Gals heads on swivels. It was clear that the road squad’s back line was bending – but how long would it be before it broke?

The answer: in the 55th minute. The Revs were playing beautiful and technically sound football stringing yet another grand sequence of passes. It was Noonan who first retrieved a long ball deep in the LA end and fired it back to Smith at the top of the wing. Then it went Jeff Larentowicz, to Shalrie Joseph. Joseph then dumped a short pass to Twellman on a run inside the box to beat defender Ty Harden. Amazingly, in order to harness the tricky pass, Twellman had to backtrack a bit and beat Harden yet again before he then dusted Kevin Harmse in the box fire to close range shot past Cannon for the amazing goal, 1-0 Revs.

Refusing to sit on the one-goal lead, the Revs pressed further in the 75th minute when Twellman ran into the box and fired back to Noonan when the Gals converged. Noonan wound up and fired before Cannon was forced to make another all-out diving save.

With ten minutes remaining in regulation, the Gals finally awoke from their slumber and began to carefully mount a series of mini-attacks that surely induced some perspiration on the brows of the home fans.

Chances for the guests materialized with alarming regularity as they began to put on a passing clinic of their own, causing the Revs defenders to scurry about to keep pace. The 84th minute saw Landon Donovan, one of the few Gals players with caffeine in his bloodstream rather than Ambien, gatecrash and fire a close shot right at Matt Reis, who rose to the occasion to disarm the missile.

Reis’ heroics had not yet concluded until the 92+ minute when Gavin Glinto launched another threatening shot on goal before the bald brick wall made his final save on the evening and preserved the 1-0 shutout win for the home club.

Stat of the Match, Part 1: Matt Reis recorded his eighth shutout of the season, which means he’s now walked away with clean sheets in 40% of his matches.

Stat of the Match, Part 2: The Galaxy has not won consecutive matches since 2006.

Stat of the Match, Part 3: The Revs became the first team in the Eastern Conference to reach the double-digit win mark, as their record now stands at 10-4-6.

Stat of the Match, Part 4: Taylor Twellman has scored the game-winning goals in both matchups vs. the Gals this season.

Stat of the Match, Part 5: 35,402 spectators turned out to ultimately see Beckham ride the bench.

Coin toss shenanigans: The Revs invited newly-acquired Celtic Ray Allen for the coin toss ceremonies. Um, right sport, right team – wrong newly-acquired Celtic! No offense to the former UConn Husky, but it should have been the much-hyped Kevin Garnett out there on the pitch for the toss. SMS hopes that prior to the end of the season, the Revs take my suggestion that KG appear in some fashion at Gillette for a match.

The soccer gods chortled: A large banner reading “WE SING BETTER THAN YOUR WIFE” was clearly visible while watching the DCU-Gals match on Thursday Night.

Soccer related random thought: Did the suits at Gillette bite their caps and toss their Mach3s "Now With Twelve Vibrating Razors, Aloe Vera Lotion and Can Cure Cancer" after the game because their poster boy - Beckham - did not play at their Stadium?Non-soccer related random thought: SMS recently opened an e-mail account with Gmail in order to horde his vast collection of threatening e-mails from irate critics and enemies alike. And when SMS reads these e-mails, Gmail offers to rid the message by clicking a button that says "Delete Forever."

Whoa...do I really want to delete this message for the rest of existence? Or do I want to resurrect it sometime in the future - say in three years, when I've second guessed myself to the brink of insanity of whether I wanted the deletion of an e-mail on my hands? Forever..? I dunno if I can commit to that...

U.S. Open Cup update: The mid-week Revs-Islanders U.S. Open Cup saw Gillette Stadium brimming with supporters, as the MLS Goliath handily slain the USL-2 David, 2-1 and advanced to the U.S. Open Cup semi-finals.

At the suggestion of SMS, the Revs actually white at home! Forget that the Islanders brought their navy blue kits - that's beside the point. The Revs wore white, and won! You see, SMS is always right on his prognostications and guarantees them - or the next one's free.

Prior to the match, SMS did something he had just the first opportunity to do all year - tailgate! Although the party was smaller than usual with due to the small crowd, it was impressive to see a handful of Harrisburg City supporters travel up with their team to Norfolk County, MA. They were drunk with merriment and good cheer and even proceeded to join a group of Midnight Riders for some brews and banter prior to the match.

Harrisburg City fans - SMS tips his cap to you for traveling up and supporting your team in the face of near-certain defeat. After all, we're no pushover - unlike that DC United side you guys knocked off a few weeks ago!

The victory will place them in New Britain, CT for what's being dubbed a "home" match against the Carolina RailHawks (USL-1) at Veterans Stadium. Kind of like the Betty Ford Center is a “home” for Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears and Mary-Kate Olsen!

Recall on a nickname: SMS has always felt that the "TnT" moniker for Taylor Twellman has been clumsy at best. Perhaps it's the association of that nickname with the basic cable channel that offers nothing but continuous broadcasts of crime drama television shows. Yes, Twellman is an "explosive" player, and yes, his initials are T & T. That may be cute with the adoring kiddies pre-teens, bit’s not nearly as cool as my suggestion: "T-squared".

Revs featured on “Planet Mikey”: If, by chance, you were reclining with the wife and kids last Tuesday night with the family radio tuned to WEEI, you caught Brad Feldman, Taylor Twellman and Pat Noonan discussing the Revs on "Planet Mikey".

Among the items discussed was Noonan's supposed dominance over Twellman in the classic Nintendo game Tecmo Bowl, perhaps one of the greatest sports game to ever grace Japanese manufactured video game systems.

Another interesting comment was made by Feldman, who said the better comparison to the Revs lack of success in title games was to the Denver Broncos rather than the annually blown out Buffalo Bills of the early-90s. If this is true, then the Revs are still missing the X-factor necessary to put them over the hump.

It's been well-documented that the John Elway and the Broncos of the mid-to-late 80s did not taste the sweet spoils of championship victory because they lacked an integral piece – in their case, the power running back - to help balance the offense. It wasn’t until the arrival of All-Pro running back Terrell Davis in 1995 that the Broncos returned to playoff glory, and finally claimed playoff spoils three years later on their way to consecutive Super Bowl victories in 1998 & 1999. If you don't know where I'm going with this, then take two Tylenol PMs and stroll back to bed.

A side note: Twellman sourly stated that he had been called “Jim Kelly” in reference to the Revs comparison to the ill-fated Bills. Taylor, I can think of much worse comparisons!

Kelly was a consummate pro, and one of the best quarterbacks of the ‘80s and ‘90s. He passed for a career 35,467 yards and threw for 237 touchdowns, not to mention engineering one of the most potent offensive schemes in the NFL. The "no huddle" offense, which featured the Bills offense quickly marching up to the line of scrimmage after each down without huddling, often broke down a defense to the brink of exhaustion. For his efforts, he was a first-ballot Hall of Fame inductee in 2002, where his golden bust will be displayed for generations.

Despite his team's shortcomings in championship affairs, Kelly will always be revered for not only his statistics and winning record as a starter, but also his professionalism and the sheer class exhibited in the face of the Bills continued Super Bowl failures. While a less-than-gracious athlete may have been bitter and spiteful at his critics, Kelly remained classy and even-keeled throughout.

Don't look now but.... Naomi Campbell is now doing Dunkin Donuts commercials. Have you seen the spot in which she hawks hard work and Dunkin’s Iced Tea? I guess the runways in Paris and Venice don't offer the same boku bucks they used to way back when, do they? By the way - a supermodel doing Dunkin’ Donuts commercials? Ah, the cruel demise that awaits all promising supermodels!

Speaking of Dunkin Donuts commercials…where’s the Revolution themed commercial? The Patriots, Red Sox and Bruins have all been featured on Dunkin’ ads, so where’s the Revolution spot? Why not have Taylor Twellman or Matt Reis do one? As an added bonus, it would cut down on Rachael Ray’s fantabulously horrible iced coffee commercials.

Revs marketing department: SMS’s agent is standing by awaiting your calls.

Local radio show focuses on MLS: 95.5 WBRU (Providence), an alternative rock (if such a concept still exists in 2007) radio station will feature a discussion regarding MLS' lack of marketing with respect to its younger stars tonight at 9:00pm. The forum will attempt to solve the question as to why MLS has seemingly shunned the marketing of its youth while putting a 10,000-watt spotlight on Beckham.

Ok, first things first: MLS is right to focus that hot and bright light on Becks...he's a global brand, period. It's called successful marketing, kids. Why would you not media blitz when you have the game's most recognizable player right in the palm of your hands?

Second, it's true, MLS could do better to promote its own homegrown stars. We've seen Freddy Adu (now feasting on balchao and popsicos in Portugal) and Jozy Altidore in national ads for Sierra Mist and adidas, respectively. But truly, the bulk of exceptional young American stars aren't even Stateside - they're overseas! Benny Feilhaber, Charlie Daniels, Clint Dempsey, and Michael Bradley are arguably the cream of the crop when it comes to the young and talented in American soccer but have backpacked their boots and ball across the Atlantic to hone their skills outside of MLS.

Another challenge facing MLS is marketing player whose long-term status in the league is uncertain. You could throw Eddie Johnson, Danny Szetela or Jonathan Bornstein, into an MLS ad campaign, but who's to say how much longer any of them will be here? Does it make sense to attract fans and sponsors with a player who may be gone by the time said fan or sponsor comes to MLS?

In other words, the difficulty lies not only within attracting fans with players who may be lacing up the boots thousands of miles away by the end of the season, but also with finding young players willing to play in MLS that are marketable. Szetela would be perfect, but his days in MLS appear to be numbered after a sensational U-20 World Cup showing has clubs like Roma (Serie A) and Everton (EPL) interested in the 20-year old midfielder.

Heads up decision of the week: Kudos to DC United's Ben Olsen for getting Becks to hand over his jersey Thursday night after the match.

Farewell to one of the originals: Cobi Jones made his final Foxboro appearance Sunday night, and with his 12-year MLS career - all with the Gals - SMS salutes one of the greatest players ever to play American soccer. It should be noted that when the League took its delayed blastoff in 1996, rather than 1995, Jones, like other American players, could have easily said "to heck with MLS" and played abroad, where packed stadiums and more financial incentive resided. Instead, he took the challenge of making top-flight pro soccer work here in the States.

It's only fitting that the MLS legend signs off with the League at a towering peak that many critics predicted would never be reached. From near empty football stadiums to soccer-specific stadiums to multiple owners and investors to designated player allocations, Cobi's played through it all - and all with the same club.

In other words, Cobi is one of the few players in the League who truly deserve the word "pioneer" attached to their name.The gods will surely weep when the final whistle of your last MLS game is blown. Fare thee well, Cobi Jones!

Monthly soccer reading recommendation: The book that SMS currently has trouble putting down before retiring for the night is “Kicks” Chicago Fire broadcaster Kenny Stern. The book is an entertaining, hysterical piece of fiction that is loosely based on the NASL, and focuses on the experiences of a low-totem pole rookie by the name of Rolly “Pinto” Ford of the fictional Oklahoma City Billies. Although SMS is only halfway through the book, he hopes that the first half of the book doesn’t fly by as fast as the second. Highly recommended reading for anyone looking for a light-hearted take on pro soccer.

US Women's National Team Feature: The team thrashed New Zealand 6-1 on Sunday afternoon at Soldier Field in Chicago. Abby Wambach and Carli Lloyd both netted a pair of goals en route to the owning of Kiwis. During the match – which SMS recorded – Chris, the Official Brother of SMS, remarked, “Is the other team that bad, or are we just that good?” Both! The team will play in its Send-Off Series finale on August 25 vs. Finland at the Home Depot Center in Carson, CA.

Reader feedback: Shout out to reader Beau Vaughn for pointing out that the cancelled espn2 Revs-Rapids broadcast was not the Thursday following the Toronto-LA match (8/9), but the Thursday after (8/16). SMS deeply apologizes for the error, and will offer to recall the article containing the mistake and issue refunds accordingly, no questions asked.

Chris Atkinson from Cranston, RI e-mailed to say that tall winger Khano Smith should be monikered "Homestar Runner" after the way in which the long-legged internet hero runs about. Make it so! For those of you unfamiliar with the character, check out http://www.homestarrunner.com/ for reference.

Join us again after the Revs-Rapids Mountain Time affair for the lads’ first trip to the new super-nice Dick’s Sporting Goods Park. “I’m talking about little place called Aspen, er, Commerce City.”

The match was supposed to be an espn2 MLS Thursday Night Prime Time special, but due to the network’s decision to broadcast the Toronto-Galaxy match last Sunday (in which Becks was to make his debut), it will instead be shown on Fox Sports Net New England. Luckily, this means that SMS will still be able to view the match in the comforts of his home and provide you with another severely-biased report of the match soon thereafter.