Red Sox Nation: Get to Know the Revolution!

By now, you may have heard of some soccer player named David Beckham coming to town this weekend. If you haven't bought tickets for Sunday's L.A. Galaxy-Revs match at Gillette Stadium, well then, you'll have to catch it on TV38 because the game is sold out. Nevertheless, should your interest be piqued by the glamour and glitz or the bending banana kicks of Mr. Beckham, here is a cheat sheet for those of you who know the Red Sox, but may not know much about the New England Revolution (colloquially known as "the Revs").

Back to Beckham: He's kind of a big deal in the world of soccer, and although he's not the best player in the world, he's certainly the most popular, with numerous global brands attached to his very likeness. In jest, he is called "Mr. Posh" after his wife, the high-heeled and large sunglasses-sporting former Spice Girl, Victoria Beckham, who you may have also heard of at some point as well.

But, if that's all you know about soccer, then you are in luck. If you're familiar with other team sports- say, the Boston Red Sox - but are new to soccer, then you may have some trouble getting to know the lads chanted and cheered for by soccer fans across New England.

Now if you are indeed member of Red Sox Nation and wish to see what all the fuss is about, the stars are aligned for a perfect afternoon and evening: the Sox are playing at 1:35pm in Baltimore, thus allowing plenty of time for you to mow the lawn, mix some lemonade, give the dog that bath you've been putting off all summer, and still have time to catch the 7:00pm start for the Revs and Galaxy game. So after the Sox play nine against the O's in the early afternoon, you are personally welcomed to take a gander at our sport. After all, it is the world's game. And lucky you - it’s played professionally right in your own backyard by one of the best clubs in Major League Soccer!

So without further ado, in order to better educate you on some of the more notable Revolution players, the following is some crude, yet somewhat insightful (hopefully) comparisons between some notable Red Sox players and some notable Revolution players.

Taylor Twellman is Manny Ramirez. Twellman (#20) is a forward (also known as a “striker”), and his primary responsibility is quite simple: to put the ball in the back of the net. He is not only the most productive player on the Revs roster in terms of doing just that, but is also one the best strikers in MLS, and has 82 career goals in his six year MLS career to prove the point. Like Manny, he is the offensive catalyst for team that has many offensive weapons, and as a result, is also one of the most popular players on the Revolution.

Steve Ralston is Mike Lowell. Ralston (#14) is a midfielder whose primary responsibility is to help organize the attack, and is often a chief engineer of many Revolution goals. The stats don't lie: the MLS Ironman - he's played in an MLS record 328 games and counting - has 115 career assists, which is also an MLS record as well. This year he's recorded nine assists thus far, and a stat like that speaks to his uncanny knack at sparking the offense. Like Lowell, he brings a steadying veteran presence, and quietly goes about his business, letting his team's record do all the talking.

Matt Reis is David Ortiz. Reis (#1) is a spectacular player who is best known for stepping up in the clutch. Like Ortiz, Reis, the club's goalkeeper, has shined under pressure, as highlighted by a spectacular performance during last season's playoff shootout vs. the Chicago Fire. Not only did he deny two of the five attempts - the success rate of penalty kicks is about 80% - but also blasted one home for the Revs during their sequence of attempts as well. Ortiz and Reis are also much beloved players by their respective fans, and Reis often goes one step further by publicly supporting worthwhile charitable causes.

Andy Dorman is Kevin Youkilis. Dorman (#25) is an attacking midfielder, whose primary responsibility is to not only feed the forwards (like Twellman and Pat Noonan), but to take charge and also put the ball on net. Like Youkilis, the tall and lanky (in that respect, the comparison is bad) Welshman is one of the League's most productive and underrated players, with seven goals so far this season, and does well to terrorize the opposing teams goalkeeper. Interestingly, while both players were deserving of accolades, both we snubbed in their respective league's all-star selections this year.

Shalrie Joseph is Jason Varitek. Joseph (#21) is also a team leader - much like 'Tek - but his responsibility is not only to help initiate the attack when the ball is fairly deep in the opposition end, but to also stopgap an opponent's attack as well. He is the prototypical cerebral player: extremely smart, hardly ever makes an erroneous pass, and is most noticeable when he makes hard challenges on the ball – challenges which he often wins. The tall, dreadlocked Grenadian midfielder is the best in the league at his position, and as a result, offers from oversees clubs have come in to try and pry Mr. Joseph from the Revs. His stats won't "wow" you; it's the incalculable impact he has on the field - the intangibles - that truly make him a special player, much like Varitek.

Adam Cristman is Dustin Pedroia. Cristman (#7) is the most productive rookie in MLS right now, with 4 goals and 4 assists on the stat sheet so far. Like Pedroia, the rookie forward struggled in his first handful of matches before he notched his first goal in May vs. the same LA Galaxy in town this weekend. Both rookies have found their spots on their respective clubs, and are leading candidates for Rookie of the Year honors in their respective sports.

Now, a brief LA Galaxy-baseball comparison:

Landon Donovan is Alex Rodriguez - playing for the Orioles, that is. Donovan (#10) is arguably the best player in the league, much like A-Rod, but is surrounded by a cast of underperforming players this season. Before Becks, he was the League's "Golden Boy" in terms of both marketing and skill on the pitch. His status as one of the best American- born players is backed up by his 34 career US Men's National Team goals, despite the fact that he is only 25 years old. It also doesn’t hurt that he is married to actress Bianca Kajlich, giving the nicknamed “Landycakes” an extra bit of star appeal.

David Beckham is…well, there's only one David Beckham. Imagine, if you will, Michael Jordan leaving the Bulls and joining a lesser, talent-deficient team…wait, he’s already done that.
Truth be told, there really isn't a comparable baseball player, or any other athlete other than Jordan to compare him to; Becks carries with him an unrivaled worldwide appeal that brings a newcomer like you to see what the big deal is.

And with that, I hope you get to know all of the local soccer players, and most of all, I hope you enjoy the game!

U.S. battle Panama for 2-1 victory; Advance to Gold Cup final four

Almost one year ago to the date, Gillette Stadium welcomed U.S. supporters to view the U.S.-Italy World Cup match live on the large screens within the stadium. On Saturday afternoon, the stadium played host once again to US supporters, this time with their team in significantly closer proximity, as the Americans battled Panama to a 2-1 victory in the Gold Cup Quarterfinal round.

Almost immediately the Americans set the offensive tone when, in the 2nd minute, the U.S. penetrated the Panamanian box as Landon Donovan split a vulnerable Panama defender before he mailed a dangerous shot on Panama keeper Jaime Penedo.

An early scare occurred in the form of Man on Fire DaMarcus Beasley injured himself in the 6th minute. Although grounded for a few anxious minutes, the gritty midfielder returned to his feet soon after, surely allowing Sam’s Army to breathe a sigh of relief.

Soon after said scare, Taylor Twellman raced into the box in the 9th minute and launched a left-footed shot that just missed the goal by inches.

After a Panamanian corner kick in the 18th minute, the Bradley’s boys quickly counterattacked when Donovan raced down the heart of the pitch leaving one defender in his wake and took an acute-angled shot on goal that was batted away by Penedo.

Things got ugly in the wake of the ensuing corner kick, when Peneda appeared to have a launched a back-of-the-neck pulldown of a defenseless Twellman. What should have warranted at very least, a yellow, went uncarded, and the match was gradually turned into a rather fisticuff-filled match halfway through the first half.

Minutes later, in the 26th, Donovan airmailed a corner that Twellman headed toward goal for what would have been the first goal of the match had the crossbar not gotten in the way, of course. Four minutes later, Dempsey decided to try and get in on the offensive display when he slid into a shot that skipped into the clutches of a diving Peneda in the 30th minute.

Undeterred, Panama found its first scoring opportunity a minute later when Blas Perez snuck into the box before three U.S. defenders and directed a tantalizing shot that went mere feet wide of the U.S. goal in the 31st minute.

In a bout of incredibly comical luck, Twellman escaped his mark, turned, and launched a brilliant shot that was inadvertently blocked by his former Rev teammate Dempsey in the 38th minute.

As the second half commenced, the U.S. kicked off hoping to spark an offensive series that would produce a goal. The halftime stat sheet showed that while the Panamanians had the advantage on total possession (52%), the Americans acquired more quality chances (three shots on goal to one for Panama).

In the 48th, Perez raced down the pitch on a jailhouse break that gave Howard his first true test of the match when marched right up to his doorstep like a menacing girl scout before firing a hard shot on Howard. The Everton keeper passed the test with flying colors, and denied Perez the back of the net.

A critical moment occurred in the 57th minute; Donovan was haphazardly tackled after he crashed the box, leading to a penalty kick. Donovan accordingly stepped up and skipped in career Gold Cup goal number ten (most in US Men’s National Team history), which cued the flying streamers from the Sam’s Army contingent behind the Panama net.

Less than five minutes later in the 62nd, Carlos Bocanegra headed a spectacular right flank free kick engineered by DaMarcus Beasley for pay dirt, giving the Americans the 2-0 lead midway through the second half. An ominous sign hanging from the Fort (yes, it’s still the Fort even during non-Revolution events) implored “Release the Hounds,” and said hounds had been effectively uncaged during this sweet five-minute sequence.

More trouble ensued in the 76th minute when Manuel Torres hard tackled Clint Dempsey in what was a sure-fire card eliciting offense. Torres attempted to plead his case, with teammates offering expert witness testimony. But it was all in vain as referee Neil Brizan issued Torres his second yellow card of the match, and the subsequent red card ejection, which left his teammates in the unfortunate predicament of having to make up a two-goal difference a man down with fifteen minutes left in the match.

Despite the one-man disadvantage, Panama attacked like bats out of hell in the 84th minute, when Perez escaped three hapless American defenders and rolled into the middle of the box before firing a hard shot into bottom corner of the U.S. goal, cutting the U.S. margin in half, 2-1.

With four minutes of stoppage time added, Panama had its work cut out if it were to acquire the equalizer one man down. They hurried to reassemble the attack, but failed to find the back of the net, giving the U.S. the all-important quarter final victory in front of the Foxboro faithful.

US-Ecuador Post Game Thoughts

Quick thoughts after yesterday's US-Ecuador friendly:

Although the US got on board right after the rooster crowed with Landon Donovan's twine kisser less than a minute in, the squad really wasn't clicking on all cylinders until the end of the first half. There was much confusion between defenders Oguchi Onyewu and Jimmy Conrad, who looked about as stumped as Nicole Ritchie and Paris Hilton on an episode of Jeopardy! The Ecuadoreans acquitted themselves well as they kept the US defenders flat-footed until the Gold and Blue ultimately ran out of 93 octane around the 50th minute. Give Ecuadorean forwards Caicedo and Carlos Tenoriouch credit for really giving the Americans a formidable test, and quite honestly, forcing Bob Bradley's boys to drop it into fifth gear a few times.

The most impressive aspect of the game besides the Landon Donovan hat trick was the string of one-touch passing in the midfield. Playing refined and rather beautifully at times, this appeared to be a different look for the squad, perhaps due to the newbies (Benny Feilhaber and Michael Bradley). A preview of coming attractions? I certainly hope so.

Along the same lines, the one touch passing and more attack-minded soccer on display has changed my opinion of the US Men's National Team coaching situation. Before yesterday, I held the opinion that Bob Bradley wasn't the man for the job. I stand corrected. If yesterday’s game was indicative of how the team will be playing during the upcoming Gold Cup and Copa America tournaments, then Bradley has shown that the dreaded "interim" tag is no longer deserved. Give the man the job already, Sunil. Bradley has yet to lose, and has beaten two pretty good teams. Too much has been invested to turn back and start from scratch. And I don't care if Jurgen Klinsmann has a sudden change of heart...Bradley has already shown he is capable. What's the phrase I'm thinking of? Oh yeah...one in the hand is better than two in the bush. Give Bradley the job already, and be done with it. I haven't seen this kind of indecision since Colie kept waffling between her boyfriend and Alex on the Real World Denver.

Landon, Landon, Landon (one for each goal)...where was this little goal-scoring streak of yours last summer? Dude, you go off on a goal scoring heist (5 goals in 3 games in 2007) and you have alot of people wondering "What's with this guy?" Please, rip that damn "Hello, My Name Is: Inconsistent" label of your chest and continue your brilliant play throughout the summer. Please Landycakes, do this when it really counts!

Along with the great flashes of brilliance, there were some unfortunate lowlights. You could see Clint Dempsey wanted to open it up a bit, but just couldn't find his rhythm. Same thing for his buddy Eddie Johnson. Both of them are much better than what they’ve showed during the past two games.

Welcome back, DeMarcus Beasly. Glad you could join us this time around.

If you want to know what I thought about those Orlando Magic-like pinstriped jerseys, refer to my previous post on this very topic. And yes, I still feel the same way, even after watching them in action under the warm sunny Tampa sun. They still suck. I just hope the team doesn't feel that these sweatshop specials are somehow lucky and wear them again and again.

How about that Raymond James Stadium pitch? It looked like Tiger Woods and Sergio Garcia had a chip-shot competition there the day before. Some of the passes uncomfortably took lives of their own, causing more missed connections than a Jet Blue flight. As I was watching the US-El Salvador U-17 game (which also took place at RJS) on ussoccer.com over my Corn Flakes and OJ before the US-Ecuador lunchtime tilt, there were more than a few instances where many passes were bouncing and diverting from their intended destinations. The Tampa Bay Buccaneers, the primary tenant of Raymond James, haven't played a snap there since December. And even though there were a handful of college bowl games played there in January, one would have to believe that there would still be plenty of time to prepare the pitch for soccer. There's no excuse for these sub-par field conditions.

Speaking of the Bucs...how annoyed was Bruce Arena at Dave O'Brien's comparison of Oguchi Onyewu to a football player (namely Bucs receiver Michael Clayton)? Yes, Bruce, we know you're fed up with the mundane comparison, but do us a favor and just suck it up, please. We soccer fans were all newbies at one point, and if a simple (albeit, exhausted) comparison of Gooch's stature to that of a football player induces some tangible insight for some newcomers, please, remove yourself from the booth. Go back to the Meadowlands and coach that fine senior squad you've assembled there. Thanks.

No one asked me what I thought of Eric Wynalda's inaugural red card/yellow card/game ball halftime feature. I liked it...especially when he called out US Soccer President Sunil Gulati to make up his damn mind about the coaching issue. However, the yellow card for Alexi Lalas warning him not to get wrapped up in the David Beckham hype was weird, although his point for doing it was admirable. Wynalda asserted that, despite the deserved attention Becks will receive when he touches down in LA, Lalas should not forget about making sure Cobi Jones, who will call it a career after 2007, gets his fair share of attention as well. Kudos, Mr. Wynalda.

For more uninspired analysis, check back Wednesday night after the US-Guatemala game. Until then, Death to the Pinstripes and Long Live Landycakes!