How the Revs can overcome LWR* (*Life without Ralston)

You may not have liked my previous post. It essentially spelled doom for the Revolution. Let me say I didn't enjoy writing it. Negative posts are not my forte'. So after I awakened on this bright and sunny New England morning, with beautiful colors splashed on the trees and my cat meowing with delight, I decided I'd infuse some positive thought here.

Gas is back under three bucks. Yummy pumpkin-flavored doughnuts and muffins are back at Dunkin. The Sox are positioning themselves for another come-from-behind series victory against the Rays.

Ahhhh...there we go.

With pleasant joy now flowing through my veins, I decided that the Revolution can overcome the loss of their prolific skipper. They can. Believe me.

Now, it won't be easy. But anything that is worth having is never easy.*

(*Or something to that effect. I forget which movie that's from.)

After donning the thinking cap for a few minutes, I've discovered a few possibilities that Steve Nicol could entertain for his starting XI WITHOUT sacrificing the beloved 3-5-2.

Ready? Here we go.

---Reis---
Albright-Parkhurst-Heaps
Nyassi-Larentowicz-Badilla-Joseph-Smith
Dube-Twellman

Okay, I cheated. This was the formation Nicol went with after Ralston was cruelly dispatched by Hercules Gomez. This version - to put it mildy - didn't apply itself very well. It provided stale entertainment for those wearing Revolution scarves in front of the telly. If it were a movie, it would have received two stars, which, according to my local paper, is flick worthy of the "more downs than ups" classification.

Let's try this one...

---Reis---
Albright-Badilla-Heaps
Nyassi-Larentowicz-Joseph-Parkhurst-Smith
Dube-Twellman

Yeah, that's right. Parkhurst in the midfield. There's precedent for it. In this circumstance, I believe that with Shalrie as the attacking mid, a role which he's been known to do a fair impression of at times, the attack is livelier. As lively as with Ralston? Heck, no. But that's a given. Whatever pathetic formation I may list without Ralston in the mix is not going to perform better. We must accept this as an undeniable and inalienable truth, my friends.

Another...

---Reis---
Albright-Parkhurst-Heaps
Nyassi-Larentowicz-Igwe-Joseph-Smith
Dube-Twellman

Yeah, that's right. I went there. I put Igwe in Ralston's role. What are you going to do - tell? It's kinda crazy, I admit, but these are thinning times. We must cut the fat. We cannot simply throw money at the situation, hoping it will get better. We have to discover more forms of reneweable energy. We must lessen our dependency on foreign oil...*

(*Heh. Wrong blog. Sorry.)

Next to last - I promise...

---Reis---
Heaps-Parkhurst-Igwe
Nyassi-Larentowicz-Albright-Joseph-Smith
Dube-Twellman

Why do I like Albright in the middle here? For the very same reason why I like my oatmeal lumpy - I just don't know. There's no supporting evidence that it tastes better lumpy than smooth. Nor is there any proof that Abright, a forward-turned-defender, would rouse the lads to goals unlimited. But, with Igwe on the left, the attack adds another dimension when he, as he so often likes to do, goes forward. In fact, I'll say it for the record - this club is better on the attack* with Igwe on the pitch.

(*I said "on the attack," which is not synonymous with "back defending." Those are two entirely different things.)

Finally...

---Reis---
Albright-Parkhurst-Heaps
Nyassi-Larentowicz-Mansally-Joseph-Smith
Dube-Twellman

Again, it's just another option. Options are usually good - except when they multiply like rabbits and morph into Cheesecake Factory menus. I've never seen Mansally act as an attacking mid - in fact, for this finale, I briefly contemplated placing Khano in the middle, Igwe on the left flank, and Dube paired with Mansally up front. But I thought such an idea was far too groundbreaking for our brains in the year 2008.

If these incredibly hazardous ideas illustrate anything, it's the vast importance of Ralston to this team. All of the above hypotheticals are really just bandages - none of them address the actual wound. But until someone can discover a superfast cloning scheme to bring about a Ralston clone* to pose as a remarkably-healed Ralston- after all, they can't bring in someone new thanks to the roster freeze - this team will be less formidable without the MLS Ironman man they call Steve Ralston.

(*...ah, forget it. Just too many variables. Ethical, moral and legal ramifications. The nature vs. nurture argument. The possibility of another Chuck Norris lookalike when Ralston's clone grows a beard. The list goes on.)

By the way, that high pitched whistling sound, accompanied by sudden crashing noise, you just heard? That was your I.Q. dropping 20 points.




Sorry.


I'll be making my way now...

Wizardry

POOF!

With an obligatory wave of their wand, with a nearly full moon hanging above, the Kansas City Wizards not only pick-pocketed three points from a superior New England Revolution, but also vanquished the MLS Cup fantasies of the playoff-bound club.

Yes, the plucky, 36-point Wiz, through one Hercules Gomez, in one brazen tackle, of one Steve Ralston, who suffered a broken tibia that will likely keep him out of action for the remainder of the regular season and postseason, effectively ended the Revolution dream of another MLS Cup berth this season.

To see hard evidence of this conclusion, look no further than the remaining 78 minutes of the match, whereby the normally potent New England attack looked so sterile that it could have verily become a collective candidate for Cialis, sans the bathtubs overlooking the ocean. And the normally inept Wizards, to their credit, seized the moment and tapped their goalscoring machine, centerback Jimmy Conrad, to provide the clincher moments after the hour.


The aforementioned is but a splice of what the Revolution can expect in the remaining two regular season matches, and the first round of the postseason. With Ralston gone, the local lads have not only lost their skipper, but any shot of returning to the MLS Cup finals for the fourth year in a row.

Without Ralston stationed in the middle, or anywhere on the pitch for that matter, the ball will have a difficult time finding Taylor Twellman, who scored all three of last season's postseason goals. For those who'd like a preview of what the coming matches will look like, just cut and paste a sequence of Twellman's exaggerated frustrations in or near the KC area from Saturday night, and play them on a ninety minute loop. Stagnant would be considered a compliment in describing how the attack will look in the coming weeks without Ralston.

Just look at the Revolution's form earlier this season without their skipper. It went 2-3-1 after Ralston suffered a separated shoulder during the 3-0 victory over Houston on First Kick. Moreover, the Ralston-less squad scored an anemic five goals during those six games. And while Twellman was sidelined with a knee injury during that period as well, it's hard to imagine how many many balls would have gotten to him if he were healthy. For an example of this, see Crew, Columbus, 6 Sept. 2008 - the last time Ralston missed a match with Twellman in the lineup. Final score 0-4, Columbus.

While many bobbleheads around the league will point to Guillermo Barros Schelotto as the favorite to take MVP honors this season, a case for Ralston has been building. Without him, the third-place Revolution have an astounding .250 winning percentage (2-4-2). As of today's date, the lowest winning percentage in MLS is Toronto's .350 percentage (7-11-9). Given those figures, one can easily deduce that the Revolution will find it difficult to convince the rest of the league that it is a bona fide MLS Cup contender without Ralston available.

To say that manager Steve Nicol his work cut out for him would be to say that Amy Winehouse has an affinity for controlled substances. It goes well beyond that. The roster freeze took place nearly a month ago. The Revolution must look in-house to address the short-term future without the man responsible, directly or indirectly, for nearly 40% of his club's total offensive output this season.

The piercing irony of the situation is that if the Revolution play .250 football into the postseason and thereby fall short of the MLS Cup final, it will surely solidify the argument that Ralston is indeed the most valuable player not only on the Revolution, but in MLS as well.

Sunday Morning Striker: Hi-Liters make their mark, beat Revs, 3-2

If you happen to be reading this from a residence/semi-permanent location within New England, you've surely been inundated with advertising images of numerous pumpkin-themed products. Pumpkin pies, pumpkin muffins, pumpkin candles, pumpkin bagels, and even pumpkin-flavored lattes have been flashed before your eyes on TV and in-store signage.

Now, if you like these products, then you have much in common with Sunday Morning Striker. For SMS delights in many Autumn-related goodies and sights, which also happen to include pumpkin-themed foods, candles, drinks, and actual pumpkins! Companies like Dunkin Donuts exploit SMS's appreciation for the pumpkin flavor by heavily promoting their Pumpkin lattes and muffins which you can combo up for a discounted price.

Like the brainwashed media gadfly he has become, SMS has unsurprisingly caved into the pumpkin craze and taken to a strict pre-match regiment of a Dunkin pumpkin muffin and pumpkin spice coffee for RIC Anchorwomen games. After all, with free admission and the lack of big guys in florescent orange jackets telling you that you've got to part with the beverage in your hand prior to entering, SMS takes advantage by brining in his delightful fall-themed fare. (Note: SMS realizes that RIC would rather have you purchase food at the concession, to which he does at halftime for the ubiquitous soft drink/coffee and hot dog. But in spite of free admission and no strict food or beverage policies, SMS contributes to the alumni fund to keep this good thing going.)

Yet, it seems as if every fall, there is another pumpkin-based product out there to pull a few extra Washingtons out of the wallet. I mean, c'mon: pumpkin lattes? Great idea, but you've got to admit, it's becoming a bit much. Of course, there can never truly be enough pumpkin themed foods in your author’s humble opinion, as SMS awaits the day where he can purchase pumpkin soda, pumpkin sushi, and pumpkin cereal. Mmmmmmm...

And to take the fall weather a step further, how fantastic is it to watch soccer with a backdrop of fiery reds, oranges and yellow leaved maples and oaks? SMS used to think, prior to his awakening, that football was the ideal fall spectator sport. While this is true to a point, absolutely nothing beats fall soccer at the alma mater.

Speaking of pumpkins, SMS hopes that the Revolution buggy doesn’t turn into one once the clock strikes midnight on the regular season. So far, they've played to a 2-2-2 record since September 9th, which is hardly encouraging since their competition in that span (with the exception of DC United) all had worse records than the Revs. Two more muffins remain on the schedule; it would seem to be prime pickings for a playoff bound team to gather some steam going into the playoffs.

In related news, the Revs hosted the pumpkin muffin Crew (7-11-10) on Saturday night. Recent history tells us that if the previous to matches are indicative of anything, it’s that the Revs back line will cough up a late-equalizer, thus knotting one of the best clubs in MLS against one of the worst.

Anyway, at 7:38pm ET, the Revs trotted onto the pitch in a 4-4-2, with midfielder Steve Ralston dropping to the back and Andy Dorman relegated to the cool air surrounding the Revolution bench. The Hi-Liters (a.k.a. the Crew, for their…heck, if you don’t know why they’re called the Hi-Liters, then maybe you shouldn’t be reading this) commenced the match in gleeful fashion as they passed the ball about for the early-evening entertainment.

By the tenth minute, the Revolution had grown weary of the Columbus passing clinic and jump started an assault. Khano Smith delivered a cross that just missed its connection with an oncoming Steve Ralston having been beaten to the ball by Columbus keeper Will Hesmer.
Shortly thereafter, the Crew sprung to life with a threat in the 16th minute, after they were awarded a free kick just beyond the D. Tim Ward fired a rising laser that rose just over the bar and out of the danger.

However, the Revs found the scoreboard first in the 26th minute when Ralston launched a corner directly to the noggin of a well-positioned Taylor Twellman, who sprung from Hesmer’s welcome mat and glanced the ball into the net.

The lukewarm Columbus attack managed to press into Revolution territory in the 33rd minute, when Eddie Gaven put a ball right toward Matt Reis before the keeper cradled it. Thus concluded the one of the few abrupt, yet harmless Crew mini-me attacks.

In the final minutes of the half, Columbus continued their short sojourns toward Reis and came back yet again in the 42nd minute, as Robbie Rogers whipped a threatening cross that the red-kitted keeper adeptly extinguished, as the Crew trudged back upfield yet again without finding the back of the net.

During halftime, SMS refreshed himself with a double fist of coffee and diet Pepsi, as the official friends of SMS were frantically texting him with such tempting messages as “hot chicks at the bar…meet us there in five.” Readers, SMS bypassed another evening of beautiful females and interdisciplinary banter among his blokes about anthropology, women’s studies, and sports to deliver this extremely-biased match report!

As Half Two kicked off, the Crew inserted their Argentinean striker, Guillermo Barros Schellotto, in an attempt to ignite their stale attack. The move paid immediate dividends, and the Columbus had its pedal back to the metal early on in the second half.

Anywho, with the Hi-Liters dominating possession, the Revs tried to answer back with a quick attack in the 55th minute, but Young Wells Thompson was caught well offside. Shortly thereafter, Pat Noonan raced toward goal before giving it up to strike partner Twellman, who guided a rocket just wide of the far post in the 57th minute.

The Crew finally put on their hard hats (SMS couldn’t resist) and jackhammered through the Revs backs when Schellotto harnessed the ball in the box, and fed it forward to Robbie Rogers, who initially flicked the ball off the right post. Unluckily, the deflection went right back into the box, and Gavin cleaned it up with an easy-as-pumpkin-pie goal in the 61st minute.

The Revs backs had their hands full yet again in the 77th minute, when Gaven raced down the left channel, and caught up to the ball just before the ball passed the byline. The midfielder then took the motionless ball right on the line, looked up, and beautifully delivered the ball to teammate Stefani Miglioranzi, who raced toward goal and easily pushed the ball past the defenseless Reis for the go-ahead goal.

Shortly thereafter, Nicol made a late-match substitution as he inserted Andy Dorman for Thompson to try and revitalize the stale Revolution attack in the 82nd minute. Amazingly, it worked – though indirectly - as Ralston took the ball, and initiated a little give and go to Shalrie Joseph inside the box, then quickly took the return pass and nailed it home toward the far post in the 83rd minute.

But the joy from the equalizer didn’t last. Schellotto, the bane of the Revs back throughout the second half, strolled past the halfway line, took the ball from 25 yards out, turned his defender, and fired a groundhog through yards of open real estate that just escaped the paws of Reis into the left post in the 86th minute.

Allotted four minutes of stoppage to send the crowd home happy, the Revs tried to form a late attack. The opportunity came from a free kick awarded just inside the D, as Ralston and Larentowicz stood before the ball. Then, Larentowicz stepped up and fired a curler that died on impact at the Crew wall, as the Revolution faded quietly into the cool New England night, giving up a sour 3-2 loss to the Crew.

Stat of the Match, Part 1: The last time the Revs beat Columbus was during last season’s final regular season match, winning a 1-0.

Stat of the Match, Part 2: For the third consecutive game this season, the Crew tallied a goal at 85th minute or later goal against the Revs.

Stat of the Match, Part 3: The sixth-place Crew has now scored three goals against the Revs twice this season. The only other club to record three or more goals twice against the Revs this season is first-place DC United (3-0 on 8/5, and 4-2 on 9/2).

Stat of the Match, Part 4: Since clinching a playoff berth on September 15th, the Revs are 1-2-1 in MLS action.

Stat of the Match, Part 5: After coming in as a 2nd half sub, Guillermo Barros Schellotto took only one shot on goal – the game-winner in the 86th minute.

THREEPENNY ANALYSIS: The Revs looked good early, despite intermittent Columbus attacks, and looked poised to impose their will going into the second half up 1-0. But when Schellotto entered the match in the second half, the momentum slid toward the Crew, as the Argentinean became the offensive catalyst that the guests had lacked in the first frame.

The Revs struggled to contain Schellotto, and the striker showed no mercy, as exemplified by his amazing 86th minute game-winner in which he simply took James Riley to school on, and then fired a missile that lodged itself into the left corner of the net. The Revs just could not find answer to his artistry, and just failed to spark anything offense thereafter.

Once again, the Revs failed to wrap up what should have been at least one point against a much lesser squad.

Random soccer-related thought: After scoring his 90th career MLS goal Saturday night, SMS strongly feels that there should be some sort of club-sponsored countdown banner devoted to Taylor Twellman’s march to 100 goals.

Trick or treat! The Gillette Stadium pitch came to the match disguised as a football field.

Sunday Morning Striker End of Season Award announcement: Prior to the match, the team trophies were handed to the club’s top performers. In recognition of this event, SMS has created his own award: “Most Improved Player since an SMS bashing.”

All season, SMS harped on a certain left-sided midfielder who’s more known for his wild crosses and shot than his curiously-stylish “brohawk” hairdo. A gentleman who, to his credit, kept at it, and actually put together a nice streak of well-played matches down the stretch. The man who nearly put a Rodney Harrison hit on Jay Heaps after scoring his first goal of the season against FC Dallas.

So without further ado, the winner of this year’s award goes to…Khano Smith!

SMS Alma Mater update: The Anchorwomen began the week on a rough note, with a heartbreaking 1-0 double-overtime loss to Roger Williams University on Columbus Day Monday. Freshman keeper Maddie Pirri did well to keep RWU off the board until Hawks forward Amanda daCunha spoiled the clean sheet performance in the 104th minute.

RIC then traveled to Bridgewater State College and dropped a tough 3-2 loss on the road. Brittney Godbout and Kerry Donahue trallied a goal apiece in the losing effort, as the maroon and gold came up a goal short.

Finally, the victory that eluded them all week was finally achieved on Saturday afternoon at the RIC Soccer Field, where Donahue and Krista MacKinnon scored the fist two goals against Plymouth State University. But PSU answered with a pair of its own in the second half, knotting the score at two, and sending the match to OT. But Abby Hummel ended the OT on her own account, with a wicked shot that lodged itself into the far corner for the much-deserved 3-2 win.

US Women's Nation Team feature: The WNT saw its first action since the World Cup on Saturday night as for the first of three consecutive matches against Mexico. Unfortunately, the match was not televised live from Edward Jones Dome in St. Louis, and with the Revs-Crew match starting at half an hour prior to US-Mexico, SMS was relegated to following via MatchTracker during half time at Gillette. Luckily, our women thumped their Mexican counterparts 5-1, after initially going down 0-1 in the sixth minute.

SMS really doesn't want to go there, but he will: The whole Hope Solo controversy, which has been skewered, stewed, baked, fried, boiled, broiled, grilled and roasted by the media, has led SMS to conclude that there really is no such thing as bad publicity. Don't believe SMS? Go ahead - try to order a Hope Solo jersey from ussoccerstore.com.

Join us again after the regular season finale against Toronto FC, where SMS will revisit his pre-season predictions, and comment on how close he was to predicting the exact record of the Revs this season, among other prognostications. Want a good laugh? Just see how far off he was in his prediction of the first Revolution player departure!

Sunday Morning Striker: Revs blast FC Dallas, 4-2 - No videotape required!

Unless you’ve been hiding under a rock or recently awoken from a lengthy coma, you’ve surely been inundated with the news of Bill Belichick’s less-than-savvy video surveillance tactics. Reportedly, the Pats head coach sent a video assistant to film their opponents’ defensive coaches in an attempt to decipher their defensive signals at halftime.

The shrewd undertaking committed by one of the best head coaches in NFL history has certainly left the region buzzing about the embarrassment and shame this incident has cast on the New England Patriots organization. It’s one thing to be clever – within the rules. But after the NFL specifically addressed this type of incident during the preseason, everyone in the league was well aware of the crackdown that would soon follow on the practice of videotaping the opponent’s sideline.

Luckily, Sunday Morning Striker has it under good authority that Revolution manager Steve Nicol has not resorted to such unsportsmanlike methods.

But, as he often likes to do on Friday afternoons at the office, SMS began to imaginalize: What if Nicol did unleash an anonymous Revolution employee to scour the secrets and strategy of FC Dallas during this weekend’s match? (cue the Wayne's World "doo-doo-doo-doo...doo-doo-doo-doo..")

After tough first half, the players and coaches head to the locker room, whereby Anonymous Revs Employee hands over an ominous tape, the contents of which could be potentially damaging to the former Dallas Burn.

Nicol (pointing to the VCR): Laddy, cue the tape.

Audio: "Can you believe the hotel rooms? Two words: mini-bar."...."I dunno, he was saying something about his girlfriend's missing panties..." "Wrecked'em? Damn near killed him!"

Nicol: Fast forward it a bit...

Audio: "I am stuck on band aid brand cuz band aid's stuck on me..." "...The Foxy Lady? How far is Providence from here?"

Nicol (clearly agitated): a little further...

Audio: "Fifth row...third seat from the left...blonde hair..." "Nice..." "Damn, I got burned by both Stephen Jackson and Drew Brees did nothing for me last week? 16 combined points? What the ---"

Nicol: Bloody hell! (Ejects the tape and slams it to the ground.)

(End imaginatory sequence)

So, as you can tell, this premise would fail to accomplish much, if anything, in soccer. The audio, though intermittently entertaining, would only lend itself for blackmailing purposes.

Wait a minute...maybe it would work in soccer!

Back to reality, a revitalized Revolution attack warmed the cool New England air Saturday night, as they emphatically throttled FC Dallas 4-2.

While the Revs had been soundly defeated by DC United in the nation’s capital less than a week previous, the supporters must have arrived at Gillette Stadium wondering whether a repeat performance was about to occur.

Adding more uncertainty was the fact that manager Steve Nicol had to watch this one from the locker room, as his red card during last week’s loss resulted in suspension from this match. Temporarily taking over the Revolution reigns was none other than the Ipswich Town legend himself, Paul Mariner.

Any such fears of an encore were not easily erased when Dallas’ (herein after “the Gondoliers” for their red-striped kits) potent trio of Carlos Ruiz, Abe Thompson, and newly-acquired Brazilian playmaker Denilson stalked the eastern end of the pitch. Yet, the trio of Avery John, James Riley, and Michael Parkhurst kept them at bay early on.

Though the backs kept their end of the bargain, it was the forwards that had to deliver as well if the club was to pocket a critical three home points. Pat Noonan answered the call when he took a pass from Khano Smith on the left flank and flicked the ball into top shelf for the opening goal of the match in the 29th minute.

The Gondoliers turned their attention toward salvaging the equalizer in the 35th minute when Dax McCarty launched a long, floating free kick into a hive of striped and navy gentlemen. As the players all jockeyed for the ball, it was Ruiz – el pescado - who impeccably timed his jump and headed it right into the back of the net. (Note: I wonder the Spanish word for – ah, forget it)
Steve Morrow’s boys kept the pressure on the backs yet again during a mad scramble in front of the net when the ball dangerously bounced around like a Mexican jumping bean. Then, when it appeared that the final bounce appeared goalward, Parkhurst ended the chaos by athletically heading the ball over the bar in the 37th minute.

With SMS’s bladder about to burst due to a couple of Aquafinas and a pre-match soft drink, he hoped for a quick Revolution strike to put them up before the close of the first frame. Minutes later, the whistle mercifully blew - but without the hoped-for goal.

Now, SMS is going to share with you a secret of his. During halftime, I feel the need to stretch the legs and leave the confines of his generously-sized, cupholder-equipped throne from his section 102 dwelling. In order to accomplish this, I walk down the East ramp to the ProShop, where he is tempted to purchase numerous Revolution items and apparel. The ongoing question is “do I need this?” as he touches various jerseys, hats, and hoodies. Successfully keeping my impulsive buying habits at bay –therapy has done wonders - I returned to my seat, and like the homer that he always is, hoped for a gaggle of Revolution goals in the second half.

It looked promising early. The Revs had taken control of possession in the opening minutes of Half Two, as the attack “ooohed” and “ahhhhed” the crowd with a few prolonged possessions in FC Dallas real estate, but these endeavors failed to produce.

However, their efforts were rewarded in the 65th minute during a hasty counterattack which saw the ball transferred between Jeff Larentowicz and Steve Ralston, who paced close by on the right. Ralston took the pass from Larentowicz, and devilishly pushed the ball middle to Pat Noonan, who one-timed it past Dario Sala for the double.

Goal number three nearly came in the 74th minute when Taylor Twellman tried to join his strike partner on the scoresheet by taking the ball mere yards in front of Sala. But, Drew Moor stood his mark up, and smothered the attempt before it even approached his keeper.

The Revs continued to press, and with less than fifteen minutes in regulation, a frustrating scene occurred when no less than four Revolution players touched the ball within ten yards of the box – and no shot to show for it. Amid the tantalizing affair, Ralston burrowed through defenders, took a close pass from Twellman, and fired the ball off of Aaron Pitchkolan. Undeterred, the captain cleaned followed up on the deflection, re-acquired the ball, and fed the goalmouth at minute 78.

A touch of late-match drama unfolded when Ruiz struck again from a quick pass from Dominic Oduro and quickly headed it top-shelf, thus narrowing the gap to one goal in the 84th minute.
The goal energized the Hoops, but their aggression on offense left them painfully out of position in the 90th minute when Smith corralled a deflected ball yards before the box and powerfully heeled it inside the far post for the final goal of the match just before regulation expired.

Stat of the Match, Part 1: The Revs scored four goals for the first time since they scored four against Toronto FC back on April 14th.

Stat of the Match, Part 2: Khano Smith scored his first goal in nearly a year. His last one came on October, 14 2006 vs. Columbus.

Stat of the Match, Part 3: FC Dallas hasn’t won at Gillette Stadium in over four years. Their last win at the Razor came on July 16, 2003.

Stat of the Match, Part 4: The Revs tallied three yellow cards during a five-minute span during the closing minutes, when Adam Cristman (83’), Shalrie Joseph (86’) and Matt Reis (88’) all received bright yellow presents from referee Kevin Stott.

Stat of the Match, Part 5: The Revs will face FC Dallas again on October 3rd for the U.S. Open Cup Final. With their win Saturday night, New England is now 19-9-1 all-time vs. FC Dallas.

Random Soccer Related thought: Shalrie Joseph and Asante Samuel – separated at birth?

The OH-BAY-BEE Sweet Play of the Match: Khano Smith twice turned Gondolier defenders down the left flank, but the most notable one occurred in the 43rd minute. After taking a pass from Parkhurst, the Tall One, being closely marked by Pablo Ricchetti, turned him left as the Bermudan went right and fired a shot on Sala. Though the shot was stopped, the play was sweet. SMS was amazed to see young kids waving t-shirts and hoodies in approval despite the cool temperatures.

G-Unit signs a DPA before the September 15th roster freeze: While the Revs were busy booking plane tickets back to Serbia for Dusan Petkovic, the soon-to-be-signed-before-injuring-his-ankle defender, G-Unit made a monster signing by agreeing to terms with rap star Jim Jones. The move is significant because of Jones’ street cred paired with catchy lyrics.

This signing got SMS wondering: what if the Revs signed a big name soccer star? Oh wait a minute…that would actually require paying more than the going rate for rookies and sophomores. SMS’s bad…

Adam Cristman can’t find Uzbekistan…for real: After sorting through Thursday’s mail, SMS was pleasantly surprised to find the Revolution’s own Adam Cristman in Sports Illustrated’s “The Pop Culture Grid” section. Among the categories, the rookie forward says that Lindsay Lohan was his favorite celebrity scandal of the summer, Red Stripe is his favorite beer, and “Goodnight Moon” was his favorite book as a child.

In the same section, Rapids midfielder Pablo Mastroeni offered his own PG-13 responses: One Night in Paris was the last DVD he bought, his dad’s magazine stash was listed under “Favorite book as a child”, and finally, with the summer over, Pablo can now “ditch (his) banana hammock.” Ugh, after reading that, SMS just vomited in his mouth a little bit.

SMS Alma Mater Soccer update: The RIC women had three matches on the schedule this week. The first one, a home match vs. the U.S. Coast Guard Academy on Tuesday, was postponed due to torrential rain.

The second match, also at home to Wheaton College on Thursday night, was a disheartening affair that featured an overwhelmed home side doing their best to keep the 15th ranked Lyons at bay. Unfortunately, RIC fell hard to Wheaton, 5-0.

On Saturday, they traveled to UMass-Boston and played the Beacons up in the Hub, where they returned to their winning ways, taking a 4-1 victory. Laurie Lindsay chalked up a double, as teammates Brittney Godbout and Jessica Cardinal each tallied a goal in the Anchorwomen win.

Revs wish for home crowds like that seen at Wednesday’s Brazil-Mexico match: Yours truly was present for Wednesday night’s Brazil-Mexico match, and was absolutely floored when he entered the stadium to find over 67,000 fans on hand to watch a soccer game. Yes, this was truly an amazing sight, one that I had never witnessed in person, as I stared in awe upon a sea of canary yellow surrounding the pitch.

Interestingly, there were also a few Revolution players also present for the match, and stated that they had wished the same turnouts for their matches. An insightful piece from The Boston Globe’s Frank Dell’Apa detailed the same:

"It was unbelievable, from the time we got there 30 minutes before the game," said midfielder Shalrie Joseph, a native of Grenada who has played more than 10 international matches for his national team. "It was one of those atmospheres that as a soccer player you'd love to play in.”

Of course, it would be ideal to see these types of crowds at Revolution matches. But the organization did itself no favors that night - there was little advertising or promotion of the Revs during the match. In fact, I overheard some spectators nearby ask whether there was a pro team that played here.

The Revs front office could have easily promoted the club before 67,000 hardy soccer souls, but for unknown reasons, bypassed this golden opportunity. The only hint that pro soccer team played at Gillette was a breif flashing of the Revolution logo during halftime, without any mention of ticket deals, prices, or any other pertinent info. And people wonder why there aren’t more fans for Revs games…

SMS Monthly Book Recommendation: For those of you who may wonder what the big fuss about David Beckham is about, pick up John Carlin’s “White Angels: Beckham, Real Madrid, and the New Football.”

The book is exceptionally written, and the author’s personal football allegiance to Real Madrid gives the story a unique personal touch. In addition, it also explains Beckham’s worldwide popularity, the characters behind the scenes of the world’s most visible (note: profitable) side, and the human element of how a group of superstars like Zidane, Ronaldo, and Becks, despite their amazing collective talent, can fail against lesser sides.

US Women’s National Team feature: The women played a tough match against North Korea on Tuesday, as they drew 2-2 during a rain-soaked affair. Abby Wambach and Heather O’Reilly scored during what could be argued as the most competitive match this year for our women.

Three days later, the Americans faced the aesthetically-pleasing Swedish squad under drier conditions, and easily beat them 2-0. Wambach struck again, this time with a pair of goals, giving the US a critical three points in group play, thus placing them atop the Group B standings with North Korea.

The women will kick off against Nigeria on Tuesday morning at a more reasonable 8:00am local time, as opposed to the prior 5:00am start times for the North Korea and Sweden matches. For those of you who care, I diaried both matches from my lovely living room couch before the sun came up. Needless to say, my work productivity slipped this past week.

Join us again after the New York match, where SMS will report back on what facial expressions Bruce Arena will have cooked up for the camera. That alone should be entertaining. But like you, SMS is greedy – I want the goofy reactions and the three points! Perhaps the stars will be correctly aligned for both! Additionally, I will detail another no-fail idea of how the Revs can bring more fans to Foxboro.

Got a question, comment, or deeply-held grievance? Send an e-mail to SMSRevs@gmail.com. Please know that Sunday Morning Striker may, just may, choose your e-mail on a completely arbitrary basis for publishing right here on Revsnet.com.

The Revolution Midseason Report

With the mid-way point officially arriving moments after the Red Bull-Revs match in the New Jersey swamplands, enough has transpired to where an accurate assessment can be made of the local XI. The club finished the first half with a 7-3-5 record, teetering in first place with a one-point lead in the Eastern Conference standings.

There have certainly been surprises, both good and bad, as well as the expected, which one would anticipate when the core roster has remained fairly consistent for the past three years. That being said, let's take a first half snapshot of the footballers from Foxboro.

SUPERLATIVES

Taylor Twellman: Twellman (whose star deservedly warrants a better nickname than “TnT”) got off to a remarkable start, scoring seven goals in seven games, and at one point, was the primary contender for the Golden Boot honors. However, the striker was called to national team duty in back-to-back tournaments (Gold Cup and Copa America), thus limiting his MLS schedule. Despite the nearly month-long absence, he still ranks third in goals (7), and with the major tournaments out of the way, it won't be long before he re-discovers his goal-scoring groove, and remind those concerned why he is one of the best forwards in the league.

Steve Ralston: Like a fine wine, Ralston only seems to get better with age. The Revolution captain, an MLS mainstay since the league's inception, is having one of his finest seasons this year. In May, he catapulted Chris Henderson as the MLS all-time games played king (324 and counting), then leapfrogged former Tampa Bay teammate Carlos Valderrama for the MLS career assists title (115) with his helper on Andy Dorman’s goal vs. RBNY over the weekend. All the while, Ralston, in typical fashion, has made the club better with his acumen for controlling the tempo of the game and commandeering the attack. Suffice to say, this club is nowhere near first place without Ralston on the pitch.

Shalrie Joseph: There have been periodic stretches during the course of a given match when the Revs attack has looked rather disheveled – that is, before Joseph finds the ball, and reorganizes the assault. Since there are no statistics for intangibles, it's hard for an outsider to judge the true worth of the Grenadian mid. But under closer inspection, it's easy to see why his services have been requested by the likes of Celtic FC. In the same vein as Ralston, the first half would have transpired much differently without his presence.

Andy Dorman: Don’t look now, but the attacking midfielder has already accumulated more goals (7) at the half-way point than he did all of last year (6). Some of that is obviously due to his being thrust into Clint Dempsey’s former role, but the Welshman has certainly been up to task in filling Deuce’s shoes the best he can. Barring injury, there’s no reason why he won’t be able to maintain his form, which will certainly have other clubs abroad knocking at the door at One Patriot Place from now until the end of the season. Well on his way toward his finest MLS season yet, the front office would be wise to re-sign the lanky mid before he tests the waters in free agency after the season ends.

SURPRISES

Jeff Larentowicz: The former defender now moonlights as a defensive mid, and has performed outside of himself in that role. While last season was certainly an eye-opener for the former Brown Bear, who often looked horribly lost on the pitch at times, he has quite nicely come into his own as a more than serviceable center-half during the first half, before he suffered an eye injury vs. Toronto last month.

Adam Cristman: The rookie striker showed flashes of brilliance in pre-season, tallying six goals in six games, which had Revolution Nation buzzing with excitement. Expectedly, he has not been able to maintain that remarkable rate against regular MLS competition, but has shown his knack for putting the ball on net. With much of emphasis placed on first rounder Wells Thompson, Cristman, a third-round pick, has quickly become the frontrunner for MLS rookie of the year honors.

Wells Thompson: Speaking of the man they call "Wellsie", the apple of Nicol's eye during SuperDraft has already shown his versatility, with starts on both the left and right flank. Whether he becomes the solution on the left, or becomes Ralston's successor on the right, remains to be seen. He has shown to be a worthy first option off the bench this season, allowing Nicol the flexibility of inserting the rookie almost anywhere in midfield.

QUESTIONS

Khano Smith: Will he ever truly develop into the player that his biggest fan (last name rhymes with “pickle”) hopes him to be? This isn’t 2006, where Smith was injured for most of the season, thus allowing a built in excuse for his lack of consistency. This season, there are no excuses, and more to the point, we’re on Year Three of the left wing experiment for the former Bermudan striker. Once in awhile, the tall winger will tease you with the remarkable shiftiness and speed of a player more compact than him. But the remainder of the time, he has Revolution fans pulling their hair out at the recurrent stumbling and duck launching (see highlights of the 5/26 Kansas City match)

Willie Sims: It’s hard to believe that the Generation adidas player, selected in the 2005 SuperDraft, is entering his third year with the club this year. That in itself is an achievement, but in his third pro season, he has yet to distinguish himself among the club’s younger players. Four rookies have made their MLS debuts this year, while Sims, who played in nine matches last year, has yet to crack the first team. With the influx of talent from this year’s draft, Lil’ Will may seem himself phased out soon after the Revs win the MLS Cup in November. (Yes, I said that.)


Revolution backs: Last year, the club leaned heavily on its stalwart defending when injuries gathered like locusts, and when all was said and done, the club gave up an MLS-best 35 goals. This season, the defending has reprised its 2006 role at times, but at other times, has looked like a trio of matadors, simply allowing attackers to walk right by. As the matches become more critical down the stretch, the back line will have to ante up if the Revs hope to return to the playoffs.

Revolution coaching staff: Allow to me explain this one. Yes, the club currently reigns supreme in the Eastern Conference, but how do you explain draws to such illustrious clubs like Real Salt Lake and Columbus (twice)? Both of these matches could have been accurately viewed as “trap” games, and when said games arrive on the schedule, it is the coaching staff’s job to ensure that the club does take its seemingly overmatched opponent lightly. Two consecutive draws to two of the worst clubs at the time is telling of the level of preparation the club had for the each of the matches.

What will the second half of the season hold in store for the Revs? It appears they are on their way to another playoff appearance, at the very least, and perhaps another MLS Cup appearance if they stay healthy.

But anything can happen – just ask DC United, with the way their 2006 season transpired toward the closing bell. What’s certain though is that the club has the key ingredients – potent offense, sound goalkeeping, and decent defending – to make another run at the MLS Cup.

Three Revs called to MNT duty

US Men’s National Team manager Bob Bradley named his Gold Cup roster on Thursday, and among the names set to hit pitch in our nation’s kits are Revolution stars Michael Parkhurst, Steve Ralston, and Taylor Twellman. Of course, with their club team on a stretch hotter than Ocean Drive in July, the question surely begs: how will the Revolution be affected by the trio’s three-week absence?

If there is one secret that the Revs can pride themselves on is the incredible amount of depth the currently possesses. Through a wonderful combination of a remarkable health and a higher grade of talented players off the bench in contrast to last year, the Revs have courted Lady Luck quite admirably. Thus, there appears to be formidable crop of players ready to plug the holes left behind in the wake of the trio’s three-week national team excursion.

No one can question that a club will suffer when three of its key players abruptly depart for an extended amount of time. To pretend that matters will be conducted in a “business as usual” fashion without the trio would be to assume that American Idol would not miss a beat without Simon, Randy, and…Simon, of course.

The greatest loss, on paper, is obviously Twellman’s, simply because you cannot replace the league’s goal scoring czar by inserting a wildly-talented rookie or even steel hardy veteran. No chance at all. All you can do is somehow compensate for the loss by inserting the next best player. The natural assumption would be a healthy Pat Noonan and Twellman’s understudy, Adam Cristman, up front for the Revs to fill the void left by the Best XI striker. Of course, the dilemma is that Noonan and Cristman have yet to play together during the regular season, and there may be some noticeable growing pains and awkward moments, comparable to that of a new couple on its first series of dates.

Michael Parkhurst’s absence would more than likely be filled by veteran Avery John, who spotted for Parkhurst during the first handful of matches while the 2005 MLS Rookie of the Year convalesced after suffering an injury during the preseason.

But John, a fourth-year defender who hails from Trinidad and Tobago, may be called upon for national team action for his native country as well. That being said, don’t be surprised to see Nicol undertake a youth movement on the Revolution back line by inserting rookies Gary Flood and/or Amaechi Igwe, both of whom have seen considerable action on the Reserve Team this year.

Of course, perhaps the most compelling loss is perhaps the one left by the departure of Steve Ralston. Has anybody come to embody the Revolution style of play more than the captain himself? While Joe Franchino served admirably as skipper during his tenure before relinquishing his duties this winter, Ralston appears to have been born for the role. Statistically, he has already eclipsed his assist total from last year (six so far, after chipping in five last year), and has been the go-to guy when corner kicks arise. It should come as no surprise that the MLS iron man has been the architect in chief on nearly half of all Revolution goals (15) this season.

But these are all tangible matters, easily analyzed and digested in quantitative terms. What cannot be measured is the grit and headstrong determination the club plays with when Ralston leads his troops into battle on the pitches of MLS stadia. The club has played with an immeasurable amount of tenacity and confidence since Ralston, who has played every minute of every Revolution match thus far, was wisely appointed captain by Nicol prior to the season.

Even though the top club in MLS has rarely played from a deficit this season, it’s the club’s fortitude when ahead – a recurring deficiency last year – that has proven to be a wonderful reflection of Ralston’s ability to keep his teammates focused even in the dying minutes of sure victory. In essence, the mental lapses displayed by last year’s squad have all but vanished this far in to the season, due in large part to Ralston’s presence on the pitch.

So who will take over as club captain with Ralston away? While Franchino would seem to be a logical choice, his willingness to accept his former role may be cooled, after stepping down from the post only months ago. Shalrie Joseph has publicly stated in the past that he will not accept the role in light of his contract squabbles with the team. A logical choice would be the fiery Jay Heaps, who fits the mold of a veteran leader who has seen the club through fortune and famine, much like Ralston.

It is worth noting that the Revolution schedule is considerably light while Ralston, Twellman and Parkhurst all perform Gold Cup duty. Amazingly, the trio may only miss two MLS matches, as New England plays Columbus (June 16) and Toronto FC (June 23), both at home, during the June 6-24 international tournament.

Although the impact of the trio’s departure should be fairly limited in terms of regular season matches, should the Revs suddenly lose their winning ways during these games, it may cause the dreaded hiccup in the middle of the club’s fantastically successful run.

And yet, with an accompanying Copa America tournament commencing soon after on June 28th, the Men’s National Team may have call upon other Revolution players, such as Matt Reis and Pat Noonan, to fill that tournament roster for the National Team’s second consecutive summer tourney.

Needless to say, while the Revs certainly have their hands full while defending their spot atop the standings, many of its key contributors also have their plates full with pending National Team duty as well. Nonetheless, the Revs are in good position to temporarily fill the voids with both seasoned stalwarts and promising prospects.

Good thing Lady Luck has apparently warmed to the cat calls of a deserving club.

Sunday Morning Striker: Revs Extinguish Fire, 3-1

The Revs returned to the friendly synthetic confines of Gillette Stadium Sunday afternoon and avenged their season-opening loss to Chicago by beating them handily the second time around, 3-1.

The match pitted 2nd place Chicago and 4th place New England, with no more than two points separating the spots in the Eastern Conference standings.

The early concern before the match even started was whether the Revs could adequately fill the hole left by Shalrie Joseph, who was suspended for the match after receiving a red card vs. DC on Thursday.

Some wondered whether manager Steve Nicol would tailor his usual 3-5-2 alignment to a 4-4-2 in order to compensate for the loss of Joseph. The gaffer was undeterred though, and the Revs went with the customary 3-5-2, inserting Michael Parkhurst in Joseph's role.

Early on in the match, it appeared that neither club was capable of making up its own mind on the attack. The ball squirted into both club’s boxes, but neither side applied the necessary pressure to make either Matt Pickens or his counterpart Matt Reis break a sweat.

Then, at 5:19pm ET, Steve Ralston airmailed a beautiful corner kick into the beehive, and the ball fortuitously found an airborne Jeff Larentowicz, who knocked home the opening goal for the Revs in the 16th minute, giving the home team an early 1-0 lead.

Another chance for the Revs came less than three minutes later, when Khano Smith streaked down the left wing, and slalomed two defenders before putting on a wicked shot that just hit the side of the net.

In the 27th minute, the best the Fire had managed on attack was a Wade Barrett rifle shot that Matt Reis cleanly batted away, depriving Barrett of the equalizer.

In the 31st minute, Diego Gutierrez delivered an inswinger off a corner kick into the Revolution box that was robustly punched out of harm’s way Reis. The Revs spearheaded a counter attack immediately after the ball was cleared, and marched downfield just before Ivan Guerrero eventually snuffed out the Revolution advancement.

Chicago tried its best to equalize before the conclusion of the first frame. The Fire found themselves in good position to achieve said equalizer on a corner kick in the 45th minute, to which the Revs cleared away from the 6-yard box. But Chicago midfielder Chris Rolfe, standing just outside the box, intercepted the ball and quickly fired a shot past Reis for the tying goal in the final minutes of the first half.

The battle for second place in the Eastern Conference standings resumed minutes later, and the Revs came out like an army of attacking fire ants in the second half. The local eleven displayed an especially spirited attack, with Ralston, Adam Cristman, and Andy Dorman all playing major roles.

In the 54th minute, Ralston and Taylor Twellman attempted to rehash their goal-scoring sequence in Frisco a week previous, when Ralston sent in a pass that Twellman volleyed right on goal. Unfortunately, the beautiful scene was interrupted when Pickens hauled in the shot.

At 6:32pm ET, Larentowicz sent a pass to Smith down the left wing, and the Bermudan delivered in a beautiful ball into the box right to Ralston to put the home club up 2-1 in the 68th minute.

In the 81st minute, Wells Thompson was inserted as a sub for Dorman. The move proved to be prescient on the part of Nicol, for less than minutes later, at 6:46pm ET, the rookie completely faked out a helpless Guerrero and laced a shot beyond the reach of Pickens, giving the Revs the eventual 3-1 result.

With the win, the Revs vaulted from 4th place to 2nd place (tied with New York) in a span of one hour and fifty-eight minutes. They currently sit a mere one point behind Kansas City for the top spot in the Eastern Conference.

Sweet Play of the Match: The score line may simply read "NE - Jeff Larentowicz (Steve Ralston) 16", but the goal was a thing of beauty. The corner kick from Ralston screamed into the box through a few white shirts, before the ball was re-routed off the heel of Larentowicz, who had positioned himself perfectly directly square with the goalmouth. The Ivy Leaguer then proceeded to redirect the trajectory of the ball past Pickens with a karate kick flick. To make the play even more cinematic, Larentowicz had his back nearly parallel to the ground, a la The Matrix.

Sour Play of the Match: The Steve Ralston goal in the 68th was sweet for Revs fans, and extremely sour for Fire fans. The sequence began with a Larentowicz pass to Khano Smith, who strolled down the left wing before sending the feed to Ralston, who banged home the goal. However, the ball was able to find Ralston completely unimpeded because at least three Fire defenders (SMS counted) stood there just looking at the ball and doing nothing, seemingly content in the role of spectator rather than participant.

Maybe he's running a marathon? Khano Smith unveiled what can be described as a "mohawk-esque" hairstyle in front of the 9,508 announced crowd. Revs commentators Brad Feldman and Greg Lalas speculated on the actual classification of the ‘do. SMS recalls that P. Diddy sported a similar style in training to run the New York Marathon back in 2003. Whichever the case, it seems to have worked, as Smith had a particularly good match which saw him open up the left side of the Revolution attack many times. Additionally, SMS is dubbing Smith’s look as the “the Diddy.”

And then there were no bright neon boots: Twellman dropped the flourescent footwear for the club's 2nd home game of the season, and did not score. This correlation between fashion and performance is critical to an insider's understanding of the game. However, SMS has no idea what the implications are.

Stat of the Match, Part 1: Jeff Larentowicz became only the 2nd American-born player on the squad to score a goal for the Revs this year. Twellman has scored four, while Dorman (England) has scored 3 and Joseph (Grenada) 1.

Stat of the Match, Part 2: Before giving up the Chicago goal in the 45th minute, the Revs had not allowed a goal off a corner kick since 2006.

Stat of the Match, Part 3: The first two goals of the match were scored off of corner kicks.

Stat of the Match, Part 4: Steve Ralston had a hand in every Revolution goal Sunday, assisting on the first and last, and scoring himself in the 68th minute

Stat of the Match, Part 5: Ralston tied the all-time MLS career appearance mark on Sunday with his 317th MLS game played, and also moved into a 2nd place tie for career assists with 112.

Stat of the Match, Part 6: Wells Thompson became the first Revolution rookie to score a goal during his first MLS season since 2005, when fellow Wake Forest alum James Riley (2005 SuperDraft, 2nd Rd.) scored a goal against New York on September 24, 2005.

Stat of the Match, Part 7: Stretching back to last season (August 20, 2006 vs. Chicago 0-1), the Revs have been unbeaten in their last nine home games (7-0-2).

What's in your wallet? The MLS players union released salary figures for the first time Friday. Among the Revolution figures, it’s no surprise that Twellman makes the most ($325,000 annually), while many of the rookies make the least amount.

Perhaps the most notable salary figures are between Wells Thompson ($30,000 guaranteed) and Amaechi Igwe ($78,000 guaranteed). Thompson was the first Revs pick during 2007 SuperDraft, while Igwe was the 2nd pick. Rarely do later picks get higher compensation than those selected ahead of them, and SMS can only surmise that this is primarily due to Igwe's status as a member of MLS's Generation adidas program.

Imagine the concept on the NFL scale: Justise Hairston, a 2007 Patriots 6th round pick, earning a fatter contract than first rounder Brandon Meriweather. Somehow, SMS posits that super-agent Drew Rosenhaus would have a hand in such a situation.

Of course, the most disconcerting aspect of the list is a large contingent of players making close to the US poverty line ($9,800 for single-person unit in 2004, according to the Federal Register). Many of these players are college-educated gentlemen who could certainly stand to earn thousands more if they had gone into the "real world” utilizing their college degrees. Instead, they bypass the promise of much greater riches in the business world to follow their dream of playing professional soccer.

Truly, these are players who genuinely play for the love of the game. Next time you hear an NFL star, or MLB slugger speak on their love of the game, give him a Revs rookie paycheck, and ask him to reiterate his supposed love of the game.

Finally, how often do we, the sports viewing public, hear about a pro athlete who has been "insulted" by a multi-million dollar contract offer? Conversely, how many times have we heard the same from MLS rookies, who often make millions less than their spoiled counterparts in the NFL? To quote Stan Lee, creator of numerous comic book characters like Spider Man and X-Men, "Nuff said."

A tip of SMS's “The Franchise” fitted cap goes out to each of the Revs rookies who pursue their dream as a pro soccer player here in the States. The soccer gods surely smile upon you efforts.

Double duty calls: After the match, both Wells Thompson and Joey Franchino were rewarded by their fine play in the first team match by acquiring additional match time in the reserve league tilt vs. Chicago reserves. Thompson was clearly the class of the field, and cartoonishly faked out Fire midfielder Floyd Franks, who fell to the ground in amazement, as Thompson blazed through the right wing before launching an errant shot. SMS proffers that this additional time on the pitch will greatly benefit Wellsie and the club as a whole, as he has already turned some heads early on in the season.

Live from the press box: This was the first game in which SMS took his place up on high in the presence of soccer heralds in the confines of the Gillette Stadium press box. SMS was impressed by the spectacular view offered by the perch, and was even more impressed by the plate of large oatmeal raisin cookies. SMS publicly sends his compliments to the chef.

Prospective Mrs. SMS candidates, take note: the way to SMS's heart is through delicious baked goods - so long as they are not the much-feared failure cookies SMS wrote about last year.

Is the Revolution becoming a staunch liberal? SMS observed that much of the New England attack was geared toward the left, with Smith matched up against one of the better defenders in the league in Dasan Robinson. SMS notes that Smith, who usually cuts wide on the wing, instead streaked inside more often than not. SMS was extremely pleased with Smith's performance, and the club's overall emphasis on the left vs. Chicago should be encouraging for any Revolution fan.

Random observation of the match: With a bird's eye view of the Stadium, SMS noticed that the graphic panel within the Gillette lighthouse flashes yellow when – get this- a yellow card was issued to CJ Brown in the 37th minute. SMS has attended numerous soccer matches at Gillette, and had not once noticed the corresponding graphics when cards were issued. In the future, SMS will be more mindful to the lighthouse graphics at key junctures within a match, and report on his findings.

US Women’s National Team Player feature: Carli Lloyd grew up in New Jersey, and before this year's Algarve Cup, had tallied only one goal in her previous 24 matches before catching a goal-scoring fever, when she scored four in four matches during said tournament. In addition to her goal-scoring prowess, she is also an “excellent shopper.” Guys - have your credit cards ready! According to her ussoccer.com bio, Lloyd is also a fan of golf, and lists her most memorable soccer moment as her first cap for the US squad vs. Ukraine in 2005.

Join us after the LA Galaxy match on Saturday night, to which SMS will timidly abandon the spiral notebook in favor of his newly-arrived Dell Latitude X300 Centrino laptop to type, rather than pen, his thoughts as the game takes place. With the 10:30pm ET start time, SMS is concerned about the prospects of a live feed on Cox 3 in Rhode Island.

Chances of live broadcast in RI: 50%, as Cox 3 typically shows Channel 7 News between the 10-11pm timeslot on weeknights.

Sunday Morning Striker: Soccer from the Pizza Oven!

After gorging himself silly on a buffet of draftniks, draftspeak, and Mel Kiper, Jr.’s drafthair, Sunday Morning Striker was more than ready to shed those unflattering draft party pounds by taking in some good ol’ non-American football Sunday afternoon.

The match kicked off amid steamy temps (81 degrees, 55% humidity according to weather.com) and Avery John followed suit with a rather hot-headed foul on FC Dallas forward Carlos Ruiz, earning him the brightly-colored yellow card. FCD mounted good chances on offense early, with the Hoops inhabiting the Revolution zone for a good part of the early first half.

Then, at 3:19pm ET, the ball magically found itself in the FCD half. After the aforementioned ball exchanged a few Revolution player appendages, Steve Ralston found himself with the ball from about 40 yards out. The captain then looked left and fired in a pass to Taylor Twellman, who volleyed the ball right past Shaka Hislop for an early 1-0 lead for the Revs.

At 3:32pm ET, a passing locomotive blasted its horn beyond the oven-like confines of Pizza Hut Park as an Andy Dorman ball carelessly sailed over the left touchline. This had to mean something. A sign from the gods? Perhaps a call to arms for FCD to saddle up and crash the net?
Less than a minute after the signal, Clarence Goodson took a cross that found itself right into the mixer, before Matt Reis intercepted the missile for safe keeping. FCD then displayed what became a recurring theme: trotting back on defense one failed offensive chance after another.

To FCD’s credit, they continued their assault. Despite that, Jay Heaps contained Carlos Ruiz remarkably, thereby limiting FCD’s most potent weapon to the role of non-factor. The Revs held tough with Michael Parkhurst back in the starting eleven, although he showed some noticeable rust on a 40th minute foul on Franklin Nunez, which set up a dangerous free kick just outside the Revolution box. The kick sailed of harm’s way, and FCD looked visibly frustrated after the miss.

By the end of the first half, FCD had recorded six corner kicks, which proved that while their chances had often materialized, the Revs snuffed them out by neutralizing the Nunez-Ruiz scoring tandem.

For the second half, Steve Nicol inserted James Riley at left back for the recently-carded John, who played the first half like a man who was looking to add another.

Just as the ball was kicked off for the second half, an ominous television graphic flashed: "The Revs are 20-0-2 when leading at the half." Normally, SMS types “Game Ovah” on his laptop when such a stat appears, but not this time. Not in Dallas, er, Frisco, especially after last year’s four-goal thumping.

The Revs took advantage of a weary FCD defense early. In the 50th minute, Khano Smith ran down the left flank and crossed in the direction of a charging Twellman before the ball was ultimately deflected well over the goalpost by an FCD defender.

In the 54th minute, looking for a sequel, Ralston once again found Twellman about ten yards in front of the goal, where Twellman then knocked home what looked like his second goal of the game. But the sideline official called Twellman offside. Replays showed him seemingly even with the last FCD defender, causing TV38 color analyst Dave Dir to speculate that Twellman may have been offside “by a nose hair.”

Embarrassing nose hairs aside, FCD continued to mount pressure on the Revolution backs. In the 65th minute, Nunez launched a high-velocity shot on Reis, who gracefully batted the ball out of harm’s way. However, FCD remained poised to clinch the equalizer, as they held the ball in the Revolution half again for large chunks of the second half.

With the sands of time dwindling toward the 90-minute mark, FCD made another valiant attempt to equalize. Dominic Oduro broke through the Revolution defense and rocketed a shot that just went wide off the side of the Revolution goal in the 86th minute.

Just before extra time expired, the home team was given one last chance to even the scoreline. With the seconds ticking away during extra time, FCD set up to take a left side corner kick.
To the surprise of almost everyone not wearing the red hoops, the 6’ 4” FCD keeper himself, Shaka Hislop, came out of his goal and threw himself into the box, hoping to get a piece of the ball.

Instead, as the ball floated toward Reis, Hislop took down Reis, as the ball found itself just in front of an unsuspecting Abe Thompson all alone on the about ten yards out. The FCD midfielder took one clear look at goal and fired just right of the Revolution goal.

Seconds later, the final whistle blew, and the Revs took three points from their Western Conference foes, earning a well-deserved 1-0 victory

Stat of the Match, Part 1: With Taylor Twellman’s 13th minute volley, it’s officially official: 57% of the goals scored by the Revs this season have come from the blonde bomber himself.

Stat of the Match, Part 2: This marked the third consecutive game in which the Revs faced an opponent that was shut out in its previous match.

Stat of the Match, Part 3: Dating back to 2006, Taylor Twellman has scored in six of his last seven matches. In the six matches Twellman has scored, the Revs are 4-1-1.

Stat of the Match, Part 4: With the Revs win on Sunday, the navy and red are now 10-4-1 in their last 15 contests versus FC Dallas.

Stat of the Match, Part 5: 476-0. Total minutes played by 2007 Revolution Super and Supplemental Draftees this season, in comparison to their 2006 counterparts.

Sweet Play of the Match: The course of events on the match’s lone goal was truly one to behold. Initially, Pat Noonan found himself on the right flank, and launched a cross that serendipitously deflected off an FCD defender right to Shalrie Joseph. Joseph, then found Jeff Larentowicz in the middle of the field, about 40 yards out, and headed the ball toward Steve Ralston on his right. Ralston, the consummate pro, received the pass, took a few short steps upfield, and sailed a perfect diagonal pass for Twellman, who then flicked the ball past Shaka Hislop. One-nil, boys in blue.

Sour Play of the Match: In the 87th minute, with his team trailing, Dominic Oduro raced behind Revs defender James Riley deep into the Revolution end for the ball. Instead of allowing Riley to catch up to the ball, which would have forced him deep within his own territory nowhere to go, Oduro proceeded to push Riley out of bounds, giving New England a fortunate and time-consuming throw-in.

Why didn’t Bill Parcells have his number last year? In the 35th minute, Franklin Nunez launched a loopy-looking corner kick that flew well above the box before landing a good 10-15 yards outside of the Revolution goal. The harmless duck led to a Matt Reis goal kick, and prompted SMS to coin Nunez “Mike Vanderjagt”, after the erstwhile Dallas Cowboys placekicker.

Hidden Meaning of the Match: In the 4th minute, Avery John was given a yellow card for a hard tackle on Carlos Ruiz. Approximately 61 minutes later, his substitute, James Riley, was yellow carded for delay of game. Interestingly, John’s number (4) squared is equal to 16…which just so happens to be Riley’s number. To quote wicked-smaht writer Gregg Easterbrook, “This is the kind of hidden indicator that is essential to an insider's understanding of the game.” In other words- SMS has no idea what this means!

This is why, This is why I’m hot: Taylor Twellman sported bright neon yellow boots for the first time this year. The last Revs player to wear such flashy footwear: Clint Dempsey, who ironically sported almost identical boots in Frisco last year during the MLS Cup Final. Normally, the soccer gods swiftly punish such forms of attention grabbing (as they so unmercifully did last year in Frisco), but there would be no such repercussions. SMS was timid until the final whistle blew at 5:01pm ET.

Say it with me…Shal-REE: While SMS was pleased with the TV broadcasting tandem of Brad Feldman and Dave Dir (former FCD manager), SMS chuckled at Dir’s numerous unsuccessful attempts at pronouncing Shalrie Joseph’s first name. Dir often called our dreadlocked hero “Sharlie” throughout the proceedings, which prompted Feldman to save Dir late in the game by stating something to the effect of, “Don’t worry, all of his teammates call him Charlie.”

Hey, it’s better than “Second Place in the 2007 Eastern Conference Standings”: SMS was peeking through his latest issue of AAA Horizons Southern New England when he stumbled upon an advertisement for Revs tickets on page 10. The ad implored the reader to “Come See the Eastern Conference Champions!” Aaaiiiiiieeeeeeee!!! Let it be known that SMS has a huge inferiority complex due to recent MLS runner-up finishes, and shuddered at apparent pride taken in the referenced second place finish. Note Revs: for the long-term health of SMS, please win 2007 MLS Cup to avoid future runner-up references.

He may be good, but he’s no Luis “El Lobo” Fangoso: How about that dead animal residing on FCD midfielder Juan Toja’s dome? The 21-year old River Plate alumnae has played pretty well during his first tour of MLS, appearing in all six of FCD’s matches this season. It was reported during a recent espn2 MLS telecast that Mr. Toja is a Led Zeppelin fan, and sports the old school hair in tribute to them. Note to Senor Toja: SMS loves Flock of Seagulls, but…nevermind.

Jimmy Buffet concert on Saturday: Pizza Hut Park played host to sold-out Jimmy Buffett concert mere hours before FCD-New England Sunday afternoon. The music legend entertained more than 26,000 fans for a 9:00pm concert Saturday night, and by noon on Sunday, the field was ready to go.

Soccer on Sunday: Reportedly, many of the fans that showed up for the festivities the night before returned the following afternoon disguised as red seats. SMS is sure this would have never been allowed to happen in Foxboro.

US Women’s National Team Feature: In 2005, she helped her University of Portland squad win the NCAA championship. Lately, Stephanie Lopez has helped anchor a defending corps that has only allowed an amazing four goals in eight matches in 2007. While at Portland, she majored in psychology, which means your lines won’t work on her. The 21-year-old native of Elk Grove, CA is one of the team’s youngest and most formidable defenders, and will look to bring the squad back to World Cup glory in September.

Join us again after Thursday night’s match vs. DC United. Hey, it’s another national telecast! A guaranteed live telecast for SMS’s viewing (and scheduling) pleasure. SMS promises to break down the game like only he can do – which isn’t saying much of anything!

Chances of a live broadcast (barring any unforseen technical glitches): Optimal, 100%.

Game 2: Revs Trounce Toronto FC, 4-0

When Taylor Twellman scored two-thirds of a hat trick before the game clock reached the 20 minute mark, Revolution fans must have liked their club’s chances of winning the match early on. Sure enough, the Revs justified those sentiments by obliterating expansion Toronto FC 4-0 Saturday night.

The Revs first goal came courtesy of a sweet sequence in the 12th minute. Twellman passed to rookie Adam Cristman, who then returned the ball back faster than a fruitcake at Christmas on a beautiful 1-2 pass to Twellman, who found the back of the net. 1-0 home side, just like that. Goal number one of the season for Taylor, but the occasion was even more exceptional for the rookie, as Cristman recorded his first MLS point on the assist.

To be a goal-scoring master, you must have a nose for the ball. And good. But not in that order. Mere minutes later, Twellman once again found himself on the end of another well-placed ball, courtesy of a Steve Ralston cross from the right wing. Twellman proceeded to bang home the goal in the 18th minute. Taylor Twellman 2, Toronto FC, 0.

The nickname-less Toronto FC looked disheveled often in the first half, as they played like a group that had just been formed fairly recently. Who would have thunk it?

Toronto midfielder Alecko Eskandarian, lined up a shot in the 36th minute that sailed just above the crossbar, out of the reach of a man to who is dead to him, Matt Reis.

(For those of you unfamiliar with the context of that assertion, here is the biased, Cliffs Notes version: In 2005, Eskandarian, while playing for DC United, tried to play the ball in the New England box at the same time as Reis. The result of the encounter was a connection of Reis’ knee to Eskandarian’s melon. Esky would be forced to the sidelines for the remainder of the seasons, and berate Reis later on, calling him a “cold soul” and stating that Reis “was dead to [him].”)

Back to Saturday Night…with the Revs entering the half with a 2-0 goal lead, one could only wonder what defensive tricks manager Steve Nicol would have up his sleeve against good friend and managerial counterpart Mo Johnston in the 2nd frame. Whatever tricks Nicol employed on good ol’ Mo’s squad worked to perfection, as the Revs continued to suffocate the Torontonians (?) attack for the most part, as the Canadians had fewer chances than at scoring than Screech on Saved by the Bell.

In the 61st minute, Shalrie Joseph, inactive for the opening season tilt last week in Chi-town, scored on a penalty kick goal, after Cristman was tackled in the box. The streamers and glitter flew from The Fort with merry cheer and joy soon thereafter. On paper, it was simply 3-0. In the annals of Revolution soccer history, it was franchise goal number 499…

Would goal 500 – highly-anticipated, much-hyped and grand prized goal prominently featured on the club’s official site –occur on this cloudy, cool April 14th night? Surely, you could feel the anticipation. There was a buzz among the 18,184 spectators. The air densely packed with highly-charged electrons. The lighthouse graphics shone just a bit brighter. The question would grip the minds of many: Would this be the night?

The answer to this question came in the 72nd minute, when Captain Ralston bumrushed the Toronto goal, and just when it looked like he lined up his shot, he deferred to his left to find a hard-charging Andy Dorman bursting through the seams of the box. Wham, bam, thank you, Dor-MAN. With Goal 500 securely in the books, the navy and went on to win its first match of the infant 2007 season.

Stat of the Match, Part One: With his two-goal effort, Twellman placed himself in a tie for fifth place in the MLS record book with 13 multiple-goal games.

Stat of the Match, Part Two: On Saturday vs. Chicago, Nicol started three rookies – Wells Thompson, Gary Flood, and Cristman. This week, only Cristman survived the cut as part of the game’s starting eleven.

Stat of the Match, Part Three: The Revs scored on 50% of their shots on goal (8 shots, 4 goals)

Stat of the Match, Part Four: Although the Revs were in control for a large portion of the match, Toronto actually tallied two more corner kicks than New England (6-4)

Sweet Play of the Match: The Steve Ralston distribution to the onrushing Andy Dorman in the box, netting the fourth goal of the game. The pass had yours truly shouting for 2.41 seconds “Why are you pass-?” before Dorman launched it past keeper Greg Sutton. This incident proves one thing: don’t ever question the wisdom of one Steve Ralston.

Sour Play of the Match: In the 57th minute, Toronto midfielder Paulo Nagamura committed an unconscionable foul on Adam Cristman in the Toronto box, leading to Shalrie Joseph’s PK goal in the 60th minute. The foul was completely unnecessary, as Nagamura essentially threw his arm over Cristman’s shoulder while both were in the box, as the ball was yards away, heading in the direction of the New England side of the field.

The Beckham-Effect arrives early in Foxboro: With 18,184 paid spectators in attendance for the home opener, the most since its 2002 home opener, one can only promulgate the theory that Beckham may have had his hand in on this grand success. How so? Well, the Revs ticket office, in a grand scheme to capitalize on Beckhamania, declined to offer stand-alone tickets to the August 12th Becks/Galaxy affair. Instead, it offered what was dubbed “the Beckham Four Pack”, which required those who wished to purchase tickets to the Gals game to also purchase tickets to three other matches, including Saturday night’s opener. Marketing 101, pure and simple, kids.

Before you know it, domestic animals will be sponsored: Saturday night’s match marked the first match in which the Revs played an opponent that had a corporate tattoo emblazoned on its chest, in place the traditional club wordmark. BMO Bank, which also effectively tagged itself upon the name of the club’s home pitch, BMO Field, apparently poured enough cash into the expansion club that the franchise promised the Canadian banking corporation front-of-the-shirt sponsorship rights. Toronto not only became one of the first MLS clubs with this type of sponsorship (Real Salt Lake, Los Angeles and New York being the others), but the first expansion team to ever make a cash-splash with the bold sponsorship deal.

Give Us a Nickname…Please! In an attempt to perhaps “Europeanize” itself, the Toronto franchise also became the first MLS club to establish itself without nickname. Simply put on paper, the club is Toronto FC. However, according to chatter among Toronto-based internet fan boards, the club has been dubbed the “the Reds”, in recognition of the team’s primary color.

Sure, she’s cute - but do they know about her past? In between chart-topping singles, Foxboro Resident JoJo took the time to incorporate herself into the home-opening festivities. Talk about convenience. JoJo, who appears on the popular MTV video request show TRL, shot to musical stardom after releasing teeny-bopper hit “Leave (Get Out)” in 2004. After a couple of other adolescent youth anthems, it appears JoJo appropriately enough appealed to the soccer-playing youth in attendance that night to the chorus of screaming girls left over from the previous US WNT-Mexico match. If they only knew that the TRL star used to date Freddy Adu.

Watch out for the static electricity: Watching from the colorful confines of Section 104, so close to field level you smell the fresh carpet, one could not help but notice the hypnotic spin the adidas Teamgeist ball took on several occasions due to said sythentic fibers. Although the passes were noticeably quicker on the fake stuff than usual, one could not help but be entranced by the dearth of randomly spinning balls outside the touchlines.

Somewhere, the Tea Men are smiling: The game was the first top-tier soccer game in New England played on artificial turf since the New England Tea Men of the NASL last played on the unforgiving SuperTurf surface of Sullivan/Foxboro Stadium back in 1980. Now if we could only get the Revs to sport those garish yellow and red Tea Men kits as a tribute to their NASL predecessors...

Gimme the good (fake) stuff: Taylor Twellman has expressed his displeasure with the artificial surface on a few occasions, and yet, Twellman scored his first two goals of the season on the very surface. While it would be incredulous to suspect he will maintain this rate given the tiny sample size, could one ascertain that with a faster surface thus resulting in quicker passes - especially inside the box - that Twellman's overall game could actually be enhanced by the combination of futuristic synthetic blades and microfiber pellets?

Yeah, but how good is he at Keno? As previously mentioned, the Revs promoted the 500 cumulative franchise goal mark by sponsoring a contest to see who could predict the player who would score the very goal, the game in which it would occur, and the minute of the game in which it would occur. Amazingly, Revs fan Chris Agrela correctly predicted exactly how it happened! Chris, there’s this grand multi-state lottery game called Powerball, to which your talents could prove quite useful for.

US Women’s National Team Player Feature: For those of you who didn't know, one of the most recent additions to the National Team has been forward Lauren Cheney. According to her ussoccer.com profile, the Indianapolis native “enjoys shopping and watching movies.” Anyway, during manager Greg Ryan’s US-Mexico pre-match interviews last Friday, Ryan stressed the need for the team to find goal sharks not named Lilly or Wambach. Cheney must have been listening nearby, as she proceeded to answer the call and scored during her second National Team appearance Saturday. Two caps, one goal. Not bad, rookie.

Join us after the Revs-Crew match – a Thursday Night special – as we discuss Eric Wynalda, ESPN, and the spiffy new graphics package “The Worldwide Leader in Sports” has in store for us.