Tonight, Tonight

We'll make things right, we'll feel it all tonight
We'll find a way to offer up the night tonight
The indescribable moments of your life tonight
The impossible is possible tonight

-Smashing Pumpkins, “Tonight, Tonight"

It all starts tonight.

And while much of the region is saturated in the Red Sox playoff parade and the Patriots early-season invincibility, the New England Revolution has something considerably larger on the line this evening: the chance to capture a major championship.

Before the megalithic NFL and its Super Bowl, the “Curse” and pink hats, there was the U.S. Open Cup, one of the oldest cup tournaments in global soccer. And tonight, the Revolution has the prospect of bear hugging one of the most prestigious trophies in North America.

What is at stake? In addition to the obvious winner’s booty – the shiny Lamar Hunt Trophy - the match is a bonafide opportunity for the Revs to add a major piece of hardware to their currently barren trophy display. It’s the opportunity for its fans to finally celebrate a championship victory that’s eluded the club since its inception in 1996. The opportunity to finally rub elbows with their regional sports counterparts and say “hey, we’ve got a championship too, you know!”

Mind you, the Revs have played in championship games before. But much like the playoff histories of the Red Sox and the Patriots they’ve endured the heartbreak of coming up just short when the trophies are within reach. In 2001, they played for the US Open Cup and lost in tear-jerking fashion to the Los Angeles Galaxy in 2001 by a 2-1 score in which the clincher was scored in stoppage time. They’ve also painfully endured three MLS Cup runner-up finishes - two of which ended in overtime (2002, 2005) and one decided on gut-wrenching penalties (2006). Of course, with these memories in mind, tonight’s match is especially important for those who have been in Foxboro for the majority of these ripped-right-out-of-your-heart finishes.

It’s the opportunity for veterans like Steve Ralston, Taylor Twellman, Matt Reis, and Shalrie Joseph, all of whom have sported the red white and (navy) blue, to finally taste the sweet rewards of a deserved championship after rubbing their eyes from witnessing others hoist trophies. This holds especially true for Ralston, the MLS ironman of 334 matches and counting, and a league stalwart since the first green and blue ball was kicked. After 12 seasons, the wily vet has played without complaint on less-than-stellar teams. He’s been asked to do everything except strap on the goalkeeper mitts, and has quietly gone about his business like a true professional.

So tonight, with so much at stake, the Revolution march into Texas to face their MLS counterparts – FC Dallas – and hope the only thing between them and the vaunted trophy is 90 minutes of inspired and spectacular soccer.

As if the match wasn’t already heavy with subplots, the club marches into the very venue – Pizza Hut Park in Frisco, TX – where they tasted the bitterness of their latest agonizing defeat: the 4-3 on penalties to Houston Dynamo last November. The vision of a saddened Jay Heaps, chewing the collar of his navy blue jersey after missing the decisive kick on what could easily be argued as the most frustrating loss in club, history still resonates in the minds of many.

But that was then; this is now. The Revolution are fresh off an encouraging 1-0 victory over a resurgent Colorado Rapids team, and are in prime position with a bevy of healthy players to finally bring home the booty. Striker Taylor Twellman, who sat out the Colorado match due to a groin strain, is expected to start. The Revs have largely outplayed the Hoops in both matches this season, with 1-0 and 4-2 victories over Steve Morrow’s squad. This, without mentioning that FC Dallas enters the match coming off of a good ol’ 3-0 Sunday afternoon shellacking at the hands of Houston. If the match were played on paper, the Revs would surely dominate.

“But that’s why they play the games!”, if you listen to the infinite wisdom of ESPN’s Chris Berman. Anything can happen. But if you’re a betting individual, you have to like the local lads’ chances.

So with that, the collective eyes of Revolution Nation will be affixed to their TVs, radios, and computers, painstakingly tracking the progress of match like a trash mag photographer on Sunset Strip. When the Revs score a goal, the game clock will restlessly snail forward. When behind, the clock suddenly becomes turbocharged energizer bunny after twelve red bulls, as brows will condensate and teeth will clench.

And to those of you closely watching the Sox and Angels tonight on TBS during the US Open Cup Final: take a minute in between innings and switch the station to Fox Soccer Channel and catch a glimpse of your local soccer team’s efforts in capturing a championship. You don’t have to watch the entire match, or even understand exactly what’s going on. Just sit back, and take a look at what could become one of the most joyous moments in New England sports history.

Sunday Morning Striker: Revs blast FC Dallas, 4-2 - No videotape required!

Unless you’ve been hiding under a rock or recently awoken from a lengthy coma, you’ve surely been inundated with the news of Bill Belichick’s less-than-savvy video surveillance tactics. Reportedly, the Pats head coach sent a video assistant to film their opponents’ defensive coaches in an attempt to decipher their defensive signals at halftime.

The shrewd undertaking committed by one of the best head coaches in NFL history has certainly left the region buzzing about the embarrassment and shame this incident has cast on the New England Patriots organization. It’s one thing to be clever – within the rules. But after the NFL specifically addressed this type of incident during the preseason, everyone in the league was well aware of the crackdown that would soon follow on the practice of videotaping the opponent’s sideline.

Luckily, Sunday Morning Striker has it under good authority that Revolution manager Steve Nicol has not resorted to such unsportsmanlike methods.

But, as he often likes to do on Friday afternoons at the office, SMS began to imaginalize: What if Nicol did unleash an anonymous Revolution employee to scour the secrets and strategy of FC Dallas during this weekend’s match? (cue the Wayne's World "doo-doo-doo-doo...doo-doo-doo-doo..")

After tough first half, the players and coaches head to the locker room, whereby Anonymous Revs Employee hands over an ominous tape, the contents of which could be potentially damaging to the former Dallas Burn.

Nicol (pointing to the VCR): Laddy, cue the tape.

Audio: "Can you believe the hotel rooms? Two words: mini-bar."...."I dunno, he was saying something about his girlfriend's missing panties..." "Wrecked'em? Damn near killed him!"

Nicol: Fast forward it a bit...

Audio: "I am stuck on band aid brand cuz band aid's stuck on me..." "...The Foxy Lady? How far is Providence from here?"

Nicol (clearly agitated): a little further...

Audio: "Fifth row...third seat from the left...blonde hair..." "Nice..." "Damn, I got burned by both Stephen Jackson and Drew Brees did nothing for me last week? 16 combined points? What the ---"

Nicol: Bloody hell! (Ejects the tape and slams it to the ground.)

(End imaginatory sequence)

So, as you can tell, this premise would fail to accomplish much, if anything, in soccer. The audio, though intermittently entertaining, would only lend itself for blackmailing purposes.

Wait a minute...maybe it would work in soccer!

Back to reality, a revitalized Revolution attack warmed the cool New England air Saturday night, as they emphatically throttled FC Dallas 4-2.

While the Revs had been soundly defeated by DC United in the nation’s capital less than a week previous, the supporters must have arrived at Gillette Stadium wondering whether a repeat performance was about to occur.

Adding more uncertainty was the fact that manager Steve Nicol had to watch this one from the locker room, as his red card during last week’s loss resulted in suspension from this match. Temporarily taking over the Revolution reigns was none other than the Ipswich Town legend himself, Paul Mariner.

Any such fears of an encore were not easily erased when Dallas’ (herein after “the Gondoliers” for their red-striped kits) potent trio of Carlos Ruiz, Abe Thompson, and newly-acquired Brazilian playmaker Denilson stalked the eastern end of the pitch. Yet, the trio of Avery John, James Riley, and Michael Parkhurst kept them at bay early on.

Though the backs kept their end of the bargain, it was the forwards that had to deliver as well if the club was to pocket a critical three home points. Pat Noonan answered the call when he took a pass from Khano Smith on the left flank and flicked the ball into top shelf for the opening goal of the match in the 29th minute.

The Gondoliers turned their attention toward salvaging the equalizer in the 35th minute when Dax McCarty launched a long, floating free kick into a hive of striped and navy gentlemen. As the players all jockeyed for the ball, it was Ruiz – el pescado - who impeccably timed his jump and headed it right into the back of the net. (Note: I wonder the Spanish word for – ah, forget it)
Steve Morrow’s boys kept the pressure on the backs yet again during a mad scramble in front of the net when the ball dangerously bounced around like a Mexican jumping bean. Then, when it appeared that the final bounce appeared goalward, Parkhurst ended the chaos by athletically heading the ball over the bar in the 37th minute.

With SMS’s bladder about to burst due to a couple of Aquafinas and a pre-match soft drink, he hoped for a quick Revolution strike to put them up before the close of the first frame. Minutes later, the whistle mercifully blew - but without the hoped-for goal.

Now, SMS is going to share with you a secret of his. During halftime, I feel the need to stretch the legs and leave the confines of his generously-sized, cupholder-equipped throne from his section 102 dwelling. In order to accomplish this, I walk down the East ramp to the ProShop, where he is tempted to purchase numerous Revolution items and apparel. The ongoing question is “do I need this?” as he touches various jerseys, hats, and hoodies. Successfully keeping my impulsive buying habits at bay –therapy has done wonders - I returned to my seat, and like the homer that he always is, hoped for a gaggle of Revolution goals in the second half.

It looked promising early. The Revs had taken control of possession in the opening minutes of Half Two, as the attack “ooohed” and “ahhhhed” the crowd with a few prolonged possessions in FC Dallas real estate, but these endeavors failed to produce.

However, their efforts were rewarded in the 65th minute during a hasty counterattack which saw the ball transferred between Jeff Larentowicz and Steve Ralston, who paced close by on the right. Ralston took the pass from Larentowicz, and devilishly pushed the ball middle to Pat Noonan, who one-timed it past Dario Sala for the double.

Goal number three nearly came in the 74th minute when Taylor Twellman tried to join his strike partner on the scoresheet by taking the ball mere yards in front of Sala. But, Drew Moor stood his mark up, and smothered the attempt before it even approached his keeper.

The Revs continued to press, and with less than fifteen minutes in regulation, a frustrating scene occurred when no less than four Revolution players touched the ball within ten yards of the box – and no shot to show for it. Amid the tantalizing affair, Ralston burrowed through defenders, took a close pass from Twellman, and fired the ball off of Aaron Pitchkolan. Undeterred, the captain cleaned followed up on the deflection, re-acquired the ball, and fed the goalmouth at minute 78.

A touch of late-match drama unfolded when Ruiz struck again from a quick pass from Dominic Oduro and quickly headed it top-shelf, thus narrowing the gap to one goal in the 84th minute.
The goal energized the Hoops, but their aggression on offense left them painfully out of position in the 90th minute when Smith corralled a deflected ball yards before the box and powerfully heeled it inside the far post for the final goal of the match just before regulation expired.

Stat of the Match, Part 1: The Revs scored four goals for the first time since they scored four against Toronto FC back on April 14th.

Stat of the Match, Part 2: Khano Smith scored his first goal in nearly a year. His last one came on October, 14 2006 vs. Columbus.

Stat of the Match, Part 3: FC Dallas hasn’t won at Gillette Stadium in over four years. Their last win at the Razor came on July 16, 2003.

Stat of the Match, Part 4: The Revs tallied three yellow cards during a five-minute span during the closing minutes, when Adam Cristman (83’), Shalrie Joseph (86’) and Matt Reis (88’) all received bright yellow presents from referee Kevin Stott.

Stat of the Match, Part 5: The Revs will face FC Dallas again on October 3rd for the U.S. Open Cup Final. With their win Saturday night, New England is now 19-9-1 all-time vs. FC Dallas.

Random Soccer Related thought: Shalrie Joseph and Asante Samuel – separated at birth?

The OH-BAY-BEE Sweet Play of the Match: Khano Smith twice turned Gondolier defenders down the left flank, but the most notable one occurred in the 43rd minute. After taking a pass from Parkhurst, the Tall One, being closely marked by Pablo Ricchetti, turned him left as the Bermudan went right and fired a shot on Sala. Though the shot was stopped, the play was sweet. SMS was amazed to see young kids waving t-shirts and hoodies in approval despite the cool temperatures.

G-Unit signs a DPA before the September 15th roster freeze: While the Revs were busy booking plane tickets back to Serbia for Dusan Petkovic, the soon-to-be-signed-before-injuring-his-ankle defender, G-Unit made a monster signing by agreeing to terms with rap star Jim Jones. The move is significant because of Jones’ street cred paired with catchy lyrics.

This signing got SMS wondering: what if the Revs signed a big name soccer star? Oh wait a minute…that would actually require paying more than the going rate for rookies and sophomores. SMS’s bad…

Adam Cristman can’t find Uzbekistan…for real: After sorting through Thursday’s mail, SMS was pleasantly surprised to find the Revolution’s own Adam Cristman in Sports Illustrated’s “The Pop Culture Grid” section. Among the categories, the rookie forward says that Lindsay Lohan was his favorite celebrity scandal of the summer, Red Stripe is his favorite beer, and “Goodnight Moon” was his favorite book as a child.

In the same section, Rapids midfielder Pablo Mastroeni offered his own PG-13 responses: One Night in Paris was the last DVD he bought, his dad’s magazine stash was listed under “Favorite book as a child”, and finally, with the summer over, Pablo can now “ditch (his) banana hammock.” Ugh, after reading that, SMS just vomited in his mouth a little bit.

SMS Alma Mater Soccer update: The RIC women had three matches on the schedule this week. The first one, a home match vs. the U.S. Coast Guard Academy on Tuesday, was postponed due to torrential rain.

The second match, also at home to Wheaton College on Thursday night, was a disheartening affair that featured an overwhelmed home side doing their best to keep the 15th ranked Lyons at bay. Unfortunately, RIC fell hard to Wheaton, 5-0.

On Saturday, they traveled to UMass-Boston and played the Beacons up in the Hub, where they returned to their winning ways, taking a 4-1 victory. Laurie Lindsay chalked up a double, as teammates Brittney Godbout and Jessica Cardinal each tallied a goal in the Anchorwomen win.

Revs wish for home crowds like that seen at Wednesday’s Brazil-Mexico match: Yours truly was present for Wednesday night’s Brazil-Mexico match, and was absolutely floored when he entered the stadium to find over 67,000 fans on hand to watch a soccer game. Yes, this was truly an amazing sight, one that I had never witnessed in person, as I stared in awe upon a sea of canary yellow surrounding the pitch.

Interestingly, there were also a few Revolution players also present for the match, and stated that they had wished the same turnouts for their matches. An insightful piece from The Boston Globe’s Frank Dell’Apa detailed the same:

"It was unbelievable, from the time we got there 30 minutes before the game," said midfielder Shalrie Joseph, a native of Grenada who has played more than 10 international matches for his national team. "It was one of those atmospheres that as a soccer player you'd love to play in.”

Of course, it would be ideal to see these types of crowds at Revolution matches. But the organization did itself no favors that night - there was little advertising or promotion of the Revs during the match. In fact, I overheard some spectators nearby ask whether there was a pro team that played here.

The Revs front office could have easily promoted the club before 67,000 hardy soccer souls, but for unknown reasons, bypassed this golden opportunity. The only hint that pro soccer team played at Gillette was a breif flashing of the Revolution logo during halftime, without any mention of ticket deals, prices, or any other pertinent info. And people wonder why there aren’t more fans for Revs games…

SMS Monthly Book Recommendation: For those of you who may wonder what the big fuss about David Beckham is about, pick up John Carlin’s “White Angels: Beckham, Real Madrid, and the New Football.”

The book is exceptionally written, and the author’s personal football allegiance to Real Madrid gives the story a unique personal touch. In addition, it also explains Beckham’s worldwide popularity, the characters behind the scenes of the world’s most visible (note: profitable) side, and the human element of how a group of superstars like Zidane, Ronaldo, and Becks, despite their amazing collective talent, can fail against lesser sides.

US Women’s National Team feature: The women played a tough match against North Korea on Tuesday, as they drew 2-2 during a rain-soaked affair. Abby Wambach and Heather O’Reilly scored during what could be argued as the most competitive match this year for our women.

Three days later, the Americans faced the aesthetically-pleasing Swedish squad under drier conditions, and easily beat them 2-0. Wambach struck again, this time with a pair of goals, giving the US a critical three points in group play, thus placing them atop the Group B standings with North Korea.

The women will kick off against Nigeria on Tuesday morning at a more reasonable 8:00am local time, as opposed to the prior 5:00am start times for the North Korea and Sweden matches. For those of you who care, I diaried both matches from my lovely living room couch before the sun came up. Needless to say, my work productivity slipped this past week.

Join us again after the New York match, where SMS will report back on what facial expressions Bruce Arena will have cooked up for the camera. That alone should be entertaining. But like you, SMS is greedy – I want the goofy reactions and the three points! Perhaps the stars will be correctly aligned for both! Additionally, I will detail another no-fail idea of how the Revs can bring more fans to Foxboro.

Got a question, comment, or deeply-held grievance? Send an e-mail to SMSRevs@gmail.com. Please know that Sunday Morning Striker may, just may, choose your e-mail on a completely arbitrary basis for publishing right here on Revsnet.com.

Revs sign Gambian U-20 Nyassi, cut Oka and Solle

The New England Revolution announced on Friday that they have signed Gambian U-20 midfielder Sainey Nyassi, and released midfielders Arsene Oka and Ryan Solle.

The 18-year-old Nyassi caught the attention of a few MLS sides after he starred in this year’s U-20 World Cup with a Gambian team that reached the knockout stages by beating New Zealand and Portugal. He started each of the squad’s four matches, and although he did not record any offensive statistics during the tournament, he was reportedly training with the Revolution soon after his strong showing.

By adding Nyassi, the Revolution hope to infuse some added talent among a midfielding corps that, at times, has been stuck in neutral. The Revs have scored only four goals in their past five games, one of which was an own goal during the NY Red Bull game. Additionally, it was rumored that the Revs were also looking at Abdoulie Mansally, a fellow U-20 Gambian teammate of Nyassi.

Though the Revs already had two open rosters spots, a corresponding set of moves were made in conjunction with the addition of Nyassi. The club waved goodbye to midfielders Arsene Oka and Ryan Solle, as they were given their release from the club Friday.

Oka, who was originally signed on September 15, 2006, had an impressive preseason where scored three goals in six games. He was rewarded with his first MLS action this season when he appeared as a substitute at Chicago during the season opener on April 7. However, as soon as it appeared he was on his way to more regular playing time, he was ultimately limited to six reserve division matches afterward, where he scored two goals and recorded one assist.

Solle was drafted in the second round (25th overall) of the 2007 MLS SuperDraft in January, and looked primed to join his Wake Forest teammate, Revolution first round pick Wells Thompson, in the New England midfield this season. Although he did not record any first team minutes, Solle played in all eight reserve division matches, and recorded one assist during the season. He was also one of the primary corner kick specialists for the reserve squad this season.

Finally, the Revolution also announced that they had obtained FC Dallas’ natural first-round selection in the 2008 Supplemental Draft for “salary budget considerations.”

What this seemingly “minor” move may entail is two-fold. One, it appears that the front office may have traded off open salary cap space for the additional selection next year, which may shut the door on the Revolution making a major acquisition this season. Secondly, it may also indicate that manager Steve Nicol may already be eyeing another collegiate star for next season’s roster.

Sunday Morning Striker: Soccer from the Pizza Oven!

After gorging himself silly on a buffet of draftniks, draftspeak, and Mel Kiper, Jr.’s drafthair, Sunday Morning Striker was more than ready to shed those unflattering draft party pounds by taking in some good ol’ non-American football Sunday afternoon.

The match kicked off amid steamy temps (81 degrees, 55% humidity according to weather.com) and Avery John followed suit with a rather hot-headed foul on FC Dallas forward Carlos Ruiz, earning him the brightly-colored yellow card. FCD mounted good chances on offense early, with the Hoops inhabiting the Revolution zone for a good part of the early first half.

Then, at 3:19pm ET, the ball magically found itself in the FCD half. After the aforementioned ball exchanged a few Revolution player appendages, Steve Ralston found himself with the ball from about 40 yards out. The captain then looked left and fired in a pass to Taylor Twellman, who volleyed the ball right past Shaka Hislop for an early 1-0 lead for the Revs.

At 3:32pm ET, a passing locomotive blasted its horn beyond the oven-like confines of Pizza Hut Park as an Andy Dorman ball carelessly sailed over the left touchline. This had to mean something. A sign from the gods? Perhaps a call to arms for FCD to saddle up and crash the net?
Less than a minute after the signal, Clarence Goodson took a cross that found itself right into the mixer, before Matt Reis intercepted the missile for safe keeping. FCD then displayed what became a recurring theme: trotting back on defense one failed offensive chance after another.

To FCD’s credit, they continued their assault. Despite that, Jay Heaps contained Carlos Ruiz remarkably, thereby limiting FCD’s most potent weapon to the role of non-factor. The Revs held tough with Michael Parkhurst back in the starting eleven, although he showed some noticeable rust on a 40th minute foul on Franklin Nunez, which set up a dangerous free kick just outside the Revolution box. The kick sailed of harm’s way, and FCD looked visibly frustrated after the miss.

By the end of the first half, FCD had recorded six corner kicks, which proved that while their chances had often materialized, the Revs snuffed them out by neutralizing the Nunez-Ruiz scoring tandem.

For the second half, Steve Nicol inserted James Riley at left back for the recently-carded John, who played the first half like a man who was looking to add another.

Just as the ball was kicked off for the second half, an ominous television graphic flashed: "The Revs are 20-0-2 when leading at the half." Normally, SMS types “Game Ovah” on his laptop when such a stat appears, but not this time. Not in Dallas, er, Frisco, especially after last year’s four-goal thumping.

The Revs took advantage of a weary FCD defense early. In the 50th minute, Khano Smith ran down the left flank and crossed in the direction of a charging Twellman before the ball was ultimately deflected well over the goalpost by an FCD defender.

In the 54th minute, looking for a sequel, Ralston once again found Twellman about ten yards in front of the goal, where Twellman then knocked home what looked like his second goal of the game. But the sideline official called Twellman offside. Replays showed him seemingly even with the last FCD defender, causing TV38 color analyst Dave Dir to speculate that Twellman may have been offside “by a nose hair.”

Embarrassing nose hairs aside, FCD continued to mount pressure on the Revolution backs. In the 65th minute, Nunez launched a high-velocity shot on Reis, who gracefully batted the ball out of harm’s way. However, FCD remained poised to clinch the equalizer, as they held the ball in the Revolution half again for large chunks of the second half.

With the sands of time dwindling toward the 90-minute mark, FCD made another valiant attempt to equalize. Dominic Oduro broke through the Revolution defense and rocketed a shot that just went wide off the side of the Revolution goal in the 86th minute.

Just before extra time expired, the home team was given one last chance to even the scoreline. With the seconds ticking away during extra time, FCD set up to take a left side corner kick.
To the surprise of almost everyone not wearing the red hoops, the 6’ 4” FCD keeper himself, Shaka Hislop, came out of his goal and threw himself into the box, hoping to get a piece of the ball.

Instead, as the ball floated toward Reis, Hislop took down Reis, as the ball found itself just in front of an unsuspecting Abe Thompson all alone on the about ten yards out. The FCD midfielder took one clear look at goal and fired just right of the Revolution goal.

Seconds later, the final whistle blew, and the Revs took three points from their Western Conference foes, earning a well-deserved 1-0 victory

Stat of the Match, Part 1: With Taylor Twellman’s 13th minute volley, it’s officially official: 57% of the goals scored by the Revs this season have come from the blonde bomber himself.

Stat of the Match, Part 2: This marked the third consecutive game in which the Revs faced an opponent that was shut out in its previous match.

Stat of the Match, Part 3: Dating back to 2006, Taylor Twellman has scored in six of his last seven matches. In the six matches Twellman has scored, the Revs are 4-1-1.

Stat of the Match, Part 4: With the Revs win on Sunday, the navy and red are now 10-4-1 in their last 15 contests versus FC Dallas.

Stat of the Match, Part 5: 476-0. Total minutes played by 2007 Revolution Super and Supplemental Draftees this season, in comparison to their 2006 counterparts.

Sweet Play of the Match: The course of events on the match’s lone goal was truly one to behold. Initially, Pat Noonan found himself on the right flank, and launched a cross that serendipitously deflected off an FCD defender right to Shalrie Joseph. Joseph, then found Jeff Larentowicz in the middle of the field, about 40 yards out, and headed the ball toward Steve Ralston on his right. Ralston, the consummate pro, received the pass, took a few short steps upfield, and sailed a perfect diagonal pass for Twellman, who then flicked the ball past Shaka Hislop. One-nil, boys in blue.

Sour Play of the Match: In the 87th minute, with his team trailing, Dominic Oduro raced behind Revs defender James Riley deep into the Revolution end for the ball. Instead of allowing Riley to catch up to the ball, which would have forced him deep within his own territory nowhere to go, Oduro proceeded to push Riley out of bounds, giving New England a fortunate and time-consuming throw-in.

Why didn’t Bill Parcells have his number last year? In the 35th minute, Franklin Nunez launched a loopy-looking corner kick that flew well above the box before landing a good 10-15 yards outside of the Revolution goal. The harmless duck led to a Matt Reis goal kick, and prompted SMS to coin Nunez “Mike Vanderjagt”, after the erstwhile Dallas Cowboys placekicker.

Hidden Meaning of the Match: In the 4th minute, Avery John was given a yellow card for a hard tackle on Carlos Ruiz. Approximately 61 minutes later, his substitute, James Riley, was yellow carded for delay of game. Interestingly, John’s number (4) squared is equal to 16…which just so happens to be Riley’s number. To quote wicked-smaht writer Gregg Easterbrook, “This is the kind of hidden indicator that is essential to an insider's understanding of the game.” In other words- SMS has no idea what this means!

This is why, This is why I’m hot: Taylor Twellman sported bright neon yellow boots for the first time this year. The last Revs player to wear such flashy footwear: Clint Dempsey, who ironically sported almost identical boots in Frisco last year during the MLS Cup Final. Normally, the soccer gods swiftly punish such forms of attention grabbing (as they so unmercifully did last year in Frisco), but there would be no such repercussions. SMS was timid until the final whistle blew at 5:01pm ET.

Say it with me…Shal-REE: While SMS was pleased with the TV broadcasting tandem of Brad Feldman and Dave Dir (former FCD manager), SMS chuckled at Dir’s numerous unsuccessful attempts at pronouncing Shalrie Joseph’s first name. Dir often called our dreadlocked hero “Sharlie” throughout the proceedings, which prompted Feldman to save Dir late in the game by stating something to the effect of, “Don’t worry, all of his teammates call him Charlie.”

Hey, it’s better than “Second Place in the 2007 Eastern Conference Standings”: SMS was peeking through his latest issue of AAA Horizons Southern New England when he stumbled upon an advertisement for Revs tickets on page 10. The ad implored the reader to “Come See the Eastern Conference Champions!” Aaaiiiiiieeeeeeee!!! Let it be known that SMS has a huge inferiority complex due to recent MLS runner-up finishes, and shuddered at apparent pride taken in the referenced second place finish. Note Revs: for the long-term health of SMS, please win 2007 MLS Cup to avoid future runner-up references.

He may be good, but he’s no Luis “El Lobo” Fangoso: How about that dead animal residing on FCD midfielder Juan Toja’s dome? The 21-year old River Plate alumnae has played pretty well during his first tour of MLS, appearing in all six of FCD’s matches this season. It was reported during a recent espn2 MLS telecast that Mr. Toja is a Led Zeppelin fan, and sports the old school hair in tribute to them. Note to Senor Toja: SMS loves Flock of Seagulls, but…nevermind.

Jimmy Buffet concert on Saturday: Pizza Hut Park played host to sold-out Jimmy Buffett concert mere hours before FCD-New England Sunday afternoon. The music legend entertained more than 26,000 fans for a 9:00pm concert Saturday night, and by noon on Sunday, the field was ready to go.

Soccer on Sunday: Reportedly, many of the fans that showed up for the festivities the night before returned the following afternoon disguised as red seats. SMS is sure this would have never been allowed to happen in Foxboro.

US Women’s National Team Feature: In 2005, she helped her University of Portland squad win the NCAA championship. Lately, Stephanie Lopez has helped anchor a defending corps that has only allowed an amazing four goals in eight matches in 2007. While at Portland, she majored in psychology, which means your lines won’t work on her. The 21-year-old native of Elk Grove, CA is one of the team’s youngest and most formidable defenders, and will look to bring the squad back to World Cup glory in September.

Join us again after Thursday night’s match vs. DC United. Hey, it’s another national telecast! A guaranteed live telecast for SMS’s viewing (and scheduling) pleasure. SMS promises to break down the game like only he can do – which isn’t saying much of anything!

Chances of a live broadcast (barring any unforseen technical glitches): Optimal, 100%.