Saturday, January 17, 2009

The Good A-Rod comes to Beantown

It's really not fair for Amy Rodriguez.

Of all the places she could have started her professional soccer career, she ends up in locale where she get booed and hissed at right from the start.

Yes, I know that she was just selected first overall in the very first WPS Draft yesterday in St. Louis. I also know that she's easily one of the best American players, by virtue of her gold mdeal earned last summer with the Women's National Team, not to mention her outstanding collegiate career at University of Southern California, where she and her teammates clinched the 2007 NCAA Championship. The 21-year-old has pretty much done it all.

But, I'm telling you, that stuff doesn't mean anything when you're nicknamed "A-Rod." Not in Boston, at least.

Take a summer stroll down Boyleston Street and you'll see the sidewalks littered with unflattering tees that say "A-Rod SUCKS", "Jeter (Heart) A-Rod" and a couple of other "colorful" slogans that aren't exactly PG. Poor Amy.

She can score bushels of goals like Leo Messi, deliver Beckham-quality crosses, and dribble like Cristiano Ronaldo, but that moniker will doom her in Beantown. No doubt about it.

So with that being said, I feel compelled, both as a soccer lover and a citizen of Red Sox Nation, to propose a solution. On behalf of all sports fans this side of the Hudson River, I publicly welcome Amy Rodriguez to Boston.

Now, to avoid any negative connotations to much-persecuted Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez, I suggest the following qualifier to Amy's nickname: "The Good", as in "The Good A-Rod." Henceforth, by decree of no one but myself, Amy Rodriguez, the newest big-name athlete in the Hub, shall be known as "The Good A-Rod" among the sports masses in and around New England.

When the WPS regular season fires up in April, shower The Good A-Rod with hearty cheers and applause when she races onto the pitch at Harvard Stadium. I don't want to hear the Bronx (no pun intended)-inspired "AAAAAAA-ROOOOOODDDDDD...AAAAAAAA-ROOOOOOOODDDDDD!" No, that mocking proclamation is reserved for The Bad A-Rod - yes, the aforementioned Alex Rodrigruez. We're talking about The Good A-Rod here.

Besides, The Good A-Rod is not at all like The Bad A-Rod. The Good A-Rod is actually pretty good in pressure situations. Her assist on Carli Lloyd's game-winning goal against Brazil for the gold during the last Olympiad? Yeah, pretty darn clutch. Winning the 2007 NCAA Title? I didn't see any choking in that one, either.

So, please, soccer fans, Beantown sports fanatics, Red Sox Nation, Sons of Sam Horn, and all other circles where the term "A-Rod" is a dirty word: let us all make a clear distinction.

There's a new A-Rod in town, and she's a heck of alot better - not to mention cuter - than that overpaid Madonna seducer in the Bronx.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

New England area will LOVE the new/good A-Rod as she is loved here in the West.