Here are my predictions for this weekend's slate of matches, considering, you know, I'm beyond fashionably late to the table after bypassing the previous 29 weeks of the season. That, and I'm also over 36 hours late of the first match of the week.
What can I say? Punctuality is not my forte'.
Here we go:
Houston 2, San Jose 1.
Just have a feeling...
D.C. United 2, New England 1.
I'm confident in this one.
Chicago 3, Toronto 2.
I originally took TFC here because teams that are down and out always look to spoil somebody's late-season party. You know those kinds of teams. The ones that bring Corona to the party and make out with your sister. Yeah, that's what I thought Toronto was going to do the the Fire. But then reason prevailed.
Columbus 1, New York 1.
I expect Sigi Schmid to unleash a phalanx of reserves for this one, otherwise I'd say Columbus 3, NY 0. New York still has a shot to squeak into the playoffs, so any points here will be like a victory. Minus two points. OK, nevermind.
Kansas City 2, San Jose 0.
Two bucks says that primadonna Jimmy Conrad, that set piece artiste', scores one of these goals. San Jose will be tired after going up against the Orange on Wednesday. KC to the MOOOOON!*
(*Shout out to anyone who can name this reference. Hint: it has to do with a certain online cartoon. Okay, I'll say it: it's actually the best online cartoon known to man.)
Houston 2, Los Angeles 1.
Again, I'd predict more goals from the former 1836, but Dominic Kinnear will likely give his lower-paid players some time on the pitch with little on the line. What's LA playing for? The first pick in SuperDraft.
Real Salt Lake 1, FC Dallas 0.
Normally, I detest bandwagons. That being said, consider me a passenger on RSL's. They've really played well down the stretch (which should have translated into a more points, but I digress) and I'm willing to bet that the momentum* will carry them into a playoff berth. FC Dallas? Not so much.
(*Some debate that the actual existence of momentum in sporting events does not exist. Simply, there is no empirical evidence to support the idea that a team can ride the positive vibes of victory all the way to a certain destination. That's fine and all, but I am a man of the heart. A heart where momentum not only exists, but thrives. Like Joe the Plumber. )
Chivas 1, Colorado 1.
Goats just clinched while the Rapids need FCD to lose (they will, see above) to stay alive in the hunt for cold November. Advantage: N/A.
Better late than never, no?
If you disagree, sit tight. I've got a treat for you this weekend. Here's a preview of coming attractions.