Tuesday, October 31, 2006

The Obligatory Halloween Entry

With the All Hallow's Eve upon us, and the Revs poised to take the Eastern Conference championship this weekend in Marion Berry's old hangout, I figured I'd write the obligatory "Trick or Treat"-themed entry in relation to Nicol & Co. and their less than esteemed opponents.

TRICK: Dave Sarachan badgering MLS to have Shalrie Joseph suspended on a call that wasn't even carded during the course of the match. The integrity and decisiveness shown by the governing body we all know and love, the MLS Discipline Committee, later determined that the tears of Mr. Sarachan were warranted and proceeded to pacify the baby. On a related note, the MLS plans to market officially licensed Chicago Fire binkies and rattles bearing the image of the aforementioned.

TREAT: Revs "piss on the Fire" (kudos to the Fort) the following weekend and despite the ubiquitous pro-Chicago officiating, the Revs pull out a stunner and win on penalty kicks. Fortunately for Mr. Sarachan, he has all winter to think of more inane ways to get back at the Revs.

TRICK: Chicago Fire softie Ivan Guerrero running his mouth stating that the suspension to the aformentioned Mr. Joseph was "deserved," even though the game referee didn't issue a card to either player in response to the so-called elbow to Mr. Guerrero's mug.

TREAT: Guerrero lines up for Chicago's final penalty kick Saturday night, and is REJECTED by the soccer god they call Matt Reis, who obviously threw the (bad) soccer karma back in the face of the Fire.

TRICK: The Fire playing back on their 1-0 nest egg going into Saturday's match, hoping to sit back and merely contain the Revs. Apparently they forgot about a couple of guys named Taylor Twellman and Pat "Mr. October" Noonan.

TREAT: Thanks, Fire. Thanks for sitting back and allowing us to run all over you, and in the process, letting the outstanding goalkeeping of that soccer god Reis and the persistence of his compatriots rally from a 2-0 aggregate deficit.

TRICK: With the unpredictable New England weather showing up, and bringing its friends rain and wind to the party, the potential for a non-scoring, 0-0 result was on the minds of many Revs fans. And to make matters worse, the Gillette Stadium turf had been replaced less than 48 hours prior to the match. This match had the potential to be ugly on the parts of the players and on the field conditions.

TREAT: Although the wind and rain certainly played a role, the turf was in surprisingly good condition, and the Revs were able to muster two goals despite the weather. Additionally, while many had predicted a low turnout due to the rain, a shade under 10,000 passionate Revs fans showed up for - yes, I'll say it - the greatest match in New England Revolution history. There, I feel better.

By the way, I must also now proclaim that the Chicago Fire have pulled to within two car lengths of the Yankees in terms of teams I hate. If anyone is looking to make a quick $9.99, please send me a white, 100% cotton "Piss on the Fire" t-shirt, size medium. I'll carefully hang it right next to my "Yankees Suck", "Brokeback Jeter" " and "Jeter Sucks A-Rod" t-shirts.

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