Don't hold your breath waiting for Becks to come back

(*I know this thought far, FAR from original. In fact, it's been regurgitated more than a few times. But that's how I'm rolling today, with non-stop work and school keeping my hands busy from 8am-7pm. Enjoy at your own risk.)

David Beckham is not coming back to MLS.

He is not coming back because one of the most powerful clubs on the planet will do whatever it takes to keep him. And he, and his well-paid lawyers will do whatever it takes to aid those efforts.

Loan? Yeah. Right. Did any of us really believe it when the Los Angeles Galaxy loaned Beckham to AC Milan that it was a temporary arrangement? It's the equivalent of allowing an alcoholic to shack up in a brewery for a couple of months.

Beckham's recent motives have never been obscured. He's publicly stated, on numerous occasions, his desire to stay fit in order to accumulate caps for Mother England, play in the 2010 World Cup, and eventually surpass Bobby Moore's English mark of 115 caps. What better way to accomplish both than joining a high profile club like Milan?

The day that Beckham and his firm of lawyers signed the loan deal, his committment to the Galaxy, and by extension, MLS, was effectively shattered. The ring was slipped off the finger, placed in the pocket, and purposely forgotten.

For a lad that claimed to be a team player, a professional, the move to Milan seemed to counteract that image. Here was the self-serving Beckham. The Becks that bit off more than he could chew. The Becks that was desperate to back out of a mega-rich deal that would likely doom the final days of his footballing career far removed from the footballing cathedrals across the pond.

Moreso, Beckham is not coming back out pure pride. Can we picture the fiasco that would ensue if Becks, surely embarrassed by his less than complimentary comments of MLS, were to face the American media with his tail between his legs? He won't allow it. He's just too prideful for an exercise like that.

The Milan faithful have embraced him. He is loved. He loves them back. He loves his club. They love him back. He loves himself. There is too much love in Italy to return to a place where the love for soccer is similar to that shown to a mistress.

And that's what MLS was to Becks, in hindsight. His previous flames - Manchester United and Real Madrid - had stopped loving him. He was eager to find another woman who loved him, despite his faults. A woman that would give a sufficiently large ego boost. And MLS, a league in a land with plenty of riches, glamour and glitz did just that. They catered to every need. They placed him on a club right next door to Hollywood. They named ticket packages after him. He became their oyster.

But after awhile, it became empty. Becks missed the high stakes of European football. And now that a more enticing prospect - one which shot the pure adrenaline into Beckham's heart that MLS could never deliver - has arrived, he's dropped MLS for the prettier, more lavish woman.

So no, there is no way in Hell that David Beckham returns to MLS, his old mistress. He's already moved in with his latest conquest. And that chick ain't letting go of him.