That's a wrap!

I didn't witness it.

Luckily.

I was fortuitously trapped in class while the New England Revolution were getting scorched by the Chicago Fire last night at Bridgeview. Cuauhtemoc Blanco and his fellow Screen Actors Guild of soccer players thrashed a depleted, suspended and broken-boned bunch of footballers that really had no shot from the beginning to the piercing tune of 3-0.

Let's be real: you cannot survive in the postseason without your top three scorers. You can make it to the playoffs, sure. We all know MLS rewards mediocrity by inviting more teams to November than it rejects. But do well enough to advance? It would be like doing Ocean's 14 without George Clooney, Brad Pitt, and Matt Damon. It can be done. Like MLS, moviegoers embrace mediocrity.* People will watch. But it'll tank. Big time.

(*I think if people are honest with themselves, they'll find that alot of movies are just bland. People complain about paying $11 to see a movie. That amount is nothing compared to seeing a major sports event. If movies were, on the whole, better than they are, no one would complain about forking over a Hamilton and his buddy Washington to see a flick. )

From the scoreline, it appears as if Fire manager Denis Hamlet was just toying with the Revolution during Game 1 after drawing 0-0. Showing them the pig ear - here ya go boy - then proceeding to stuff it in the trash, then kicking the dog in the rear. Three times. That's what the Fire did to the Revolution. Game 1 was a taunt. A glimpse of false hope. The bunny at the dog track that the greyhounds chase. That was Game 1.

Game 2 was reality. The makeshift side assembled by Steve Nicol gained Gabriel Badilla from suspension, but lost Game 1 starter Chris Tierney after the rook suffered an injury in training during the week. Then, Jeff Larentowicz was taken out by John Thorrington* on a tardy tackle in the 39th. With the insertion of Pat Phelan at der Kaiser's central mid role, the Revolution officially lost any chance to salvage the game, even though the score was still 0-0 at that point.

(*Whenever something happens in a Revolution-Fire match, Thorrington always seems to have a role in it. Dude's omnipresent. I can't tell you how many times play stopped during Game 1 where I checked to see who was involved. It was always Thorrington. Each time. I swear, it's like five guys on the Fire have 'Thorrington' on the back of their jersey.)

But in all honesty, who was going to score? Slyde? Sainey Nyassi made an appearance SportsCenter's Top 10 last night when he megged his mark with a threatening shot that a diving Jon Busch diverted away from goal in the 58th. Busch got the nod, even though the shot itself was worthy of the highlight reel.

Down 0-3, Chris Albright obviously had enough. Adding insult to injuries, suspension, and on-pitch apprenticeships, the blonde right back was shown his second yellow in the 83rd minute. Unfortunately for the Revolution, they did not play better with ten players, unlike the Rhode Island College Anchorwomen on November 1.

Minutes later, the Revolution's season officially ended.

If you want to be slapped with perspective, get ready to turn your cheek. The last time the Revolution were relegated to watching Eastern Conference Finals on television, W's approval ratings appraoched 87%.

Seriously.

*******

It's not all bad news this morning.

One side that still has a match ahead of them is the Rhode Island College men's soccer team.

The Anchormen will be playing Plymouth State University tomorrow for the Little East Conference title at RIC Soccer Field.

This year's Anchormen boast an 11-5-4 record, and are 5-1-1 in LEC play. They started the season slow after going 0-3-0 (and being shut out in all three), but caught fire in early-September and never looked back, finishing their remaining 17 matches with a record of 11-2-4. Their defending was superb, as they allowed only 16 goals this season (0.76 GAA), and certainly took advanatage of their home pitch, where they went undefeated (8-0-2). All of these stats point to what should be a thrilling game for Anchormen tomorrow afternoon.

One season ends, another continues. The drama that is postseason soccer.

The war on conservative football

With six clubs given last rites and proper burials during the previous fortnight, the MLS regular season is now officially over. The postseason is here.

But very soon, without even glancing at the calendar, the leaves (or lack thereof) on the trees, or Blackberry(TM), you'll be able to tell what time of the year it is through mere observation of an MLS playoff match. Behold: sides from across the country playing tenuous and fraidy-cat football. Cue the chicken.

BRUCK, BRUCK, BRUCK BRAWWWWWWK!

Thank you.

Based upon geography and the Fates, I will fashion my argument around the New England Revolution. Mind you, they are most definitely not the only club that practices safe soccer. There are other guilty parties. I won't name names.* But one would think that the Revolution, after four unsuccessfull MLS Cup bids, may have altered their approach after the first two losses in 2002 and 2005. The following years proved this theory patently false.

(*Who am I kidding? Chicago Fire, FC Dallas, D.C United - I'd name more, but the remaining teams from last year's postseason, quite frankly, didn't have the sufficient talent to play scared. Instead, they resorted to playing badly.**)

(**And was last year's postseason a living and breathing argument that far too many clubs qualify for the playoffs? I mean, really - did New York's 2007 season really justify a playoff berth? Did Chicago's? Was there some sort DPA postseason quota that Don Garber forgot to tell us about?)

This postseason, the Revolution will likely return to its Pat Buchanan-like ultra-conservative 4-4-2 mode, as Ralston has been relegated to cheerleader. Meanwhile, perhaps unbeknownst to Steve Nicol, the club actually has a decent player in Mauricio Castro to occupy Ralston's role as the attacking mid. He did it earlier this year. Here's a thought: why not try it again?

What's this? Oh yes, my fault. It's the postseason. That prospect is far too risky.

Even with a healthy Ralston, Nicol went back to his cautious ways when he employed the 4-4-2 during last season's playoffs. As if the 3-5-2 has an annual expiration date of November 1st.

The result? Three total goals through 360+ minutes of postseason football. All three were scored by Taylor Twellman. That, my friends, is what you call awful and predictable football. Just awful. The kind of awful that should only be broadcast between the hours of 12am-5am, when the children are fast asleep. The fact that the Revolution still managed to reach MLS Cup last year was, quite frankly, more attributable to the lack of quality pre-MLS Cup competition(see: the aforementioned New York and Chicago clubs) rather than their form, as uninspired as it was.

The stakes are obviously heightened in any sport's postseason. I understand this. But tentative players and second-guessing managers make for some bad football. The kind that grows stale in the breadbox, and sour in the fridge. It deserves to be thrown in the rubbish, not broadcast on national television.

There's only one November. It should not be an ugly month.

Elimidate

It's here.*

(I know you're probably thinking one of two separate, non-related items: 1.) A little early for asterisks, or 2.) You're reminded of that creepy DirecTV commerical with that scene from 'Poltergeist', which features the tragically-deceased Heather O'Rourke, which only repels me further from subscribing to DirecTV anytime soon.)

Eleven days from Halloween, 38 days until Thanksgiving, and 66 days until Christmas.

Straight from my corner of the interweb, the First Ever Elimination List (FEEL) has arrived on your computer screen!

So without further ado, let's take a look at the poor souls who've suffered the indignation of having to play for asbolutely zilch for another week or so.

-Los Angeles Galaxy. This is the first time in Bruce Arena's MLS career that he is looking at November without a postseason fixture in front of him. Obviously, he inhereted the MLS equivalent of 'Lost' during the summer and by then too many egos had transpired remarkably against any realistic dreams of a playoff berth before Labor Day. Well, that and just bad defending.

At least Abel Xavier did the honorable thing and called it a day, prompting many within a Steve Cronin punt to wish the rest of the backline had done the same. Four evenly spaced bottles of Evian could have done a better job. Really.

Suffice to say, it wasn't a good day, or season, in L.A. I wonder if it's because there was lots of smog, or if Bruce Arena actually cooked the breakfast with hog? Or if Edson Buddle looked up at the Goodyear blimp, but it didn't read "Edson Buddle's a pimp"?*

(*Free shout out to anyone who can accurately guess the song reference and post it in the comments section.)

-San Jose Earthquakes. Well, it was kind of expected, despite a midseason surge that saw them pull off a few shocks (4-0 vs. New England, 2-0 @ Columbus, 2-1 vs. Houston). The expansion 'Quakes certainly kept things entertaining down to the penultimate week of the season. Kudos to the organization for bringing Frank Yallop back after a super-secret arrangement with the Galaxy during the offseason.

The Arturo Alvarez and the oft-traded Kei Kamura (who, incredibly, was whisked away after 12 games) acquisitions made it clear that the 'Quakes were serious about contending this year, despite their shortcomings. Internationals Scott Sealy and Darren Huckerby set off some fireworks on attack, while Joe Cannon - God bless him - continues to entertain far more shots than I'm sure he's comfortable with.

Anyway, an expansion team usually struggles out of the gate, so what were you expecting - an actual playoff berth?

-Toronto FC. Another club that looked like a contender midseason until, you know, they hit that torrid six-game losing streak and returned to their 2007 expansion form. Then, to excerbate matters, Maurice Edu left via transfer to Rangers (Scottish Premier League), and then that whole situation where Carver had like 37 players called up for National Team action prior to their game against Chivas USA on September 6th, which they predictably lost 3-1, all made for a very, very odd season.

I remember watching a game and saw a cute "In Carver We Trust" banner behind one of the goals. Trust to do what? Sink farther into the Eastern Conference abyss?

-FC Dallas. A midseason managerial change and an ever-fluctuating roster certainly did little to aid the effort to pull themselves out of the muck of mediocrity. I don't know what's more surprising: the fact that Kenny Cooper stayed on board for all of it, despite the rumors of his imminent departure overseas, or that they traded away Arturo Alvarez.

If there was a death star hovering above Pizza Hut Park, it signaled Juan Toja's departure to Steaua Bucureşti (Romania). Alas, the maginificently mulleted midfielder would not finish the season with Red Stripes, and all was very, very wrong during the summer. True, they notched three victories September to make it competitive, but then gleefully mailed in the month of October with only two points resulting from consecutive draws to Toronto and San Jose. Both at home. I need not say more.

How the Revs can overcome LWR* (*Life without Ralston)

You may not have liked my previous post. It essentially spelled doom for the Revolution. Let me say I didn't enjoy writing it. Negative posts are not my forte'. So after I awakened on this bright and sunny New England morning, with beautiful colors splashed on the trees and my cat meowing with delight, I decided I'd infuse some positive thought here.

Gas is back under three bucks. Yummy pumpkin-flavored doughnuts and muffins are back at Dunkin. The Sox are positioning themselves for another come-from-behind series victory against the Rays.

Ahhhh...there we go.

With pleasant joy now flowing through my veins, I decided that the Revolution can overcome the loss of their prolific skipper. They can. Believe me.

Now, it won't be easy. But anything that is worth having is never easy.*

(*Or something to that effect. I forget which movie that's from.)

After donning the thinking cap for a few minutes, I've discovered a few possibilities that Steve Nicol could entertain for his starting XI WITHOUT sacrificing the beloved 3-5-2.

Ready? Here we go.

---Reis---
Albright-Parkhurst-Heaps
Nyassi-Larentowicz-Badilla-Joseph-Smith
Dube-Twellman

Okay, I cheated. This was the formation Nicol went with after Ralston was cruelly dispatched by Hercules Gomez. This version - to put it mildy - didn't apply itself very well. It provided stale entertainment for those wearing Revolution scarves in front of the telly. If it were a movie, it would have received two stars, which, according to my local paper, is flick worthy of the "more downs than ups" classification.

Let's try this one...

---Reis---
Albright-Badilla-Heaps
Nyassi-Larentowicz-Joseph-Parkhurst-Smith
Dube-Twellman

Yeah, that's right. Parkhurst in the midfield. There's precedent for it. In this circumstance, I believe that with Shalrie as the attacking mid, a role which he's been known to do a fair impression of at times, the attack is livelier. As lively as with Ralston? Heck, no. But that's a given. Whatever pathetic formation I may list without Ralston in the mix is not going to perform better. We must accept this as an undeniable and inalienable truth, my friends.

Another...

---Reis---
Albright-Parkhurst-Heaps
Nyassi-Larentowicz-Igwe-Joseph-Smith
Dube-Twellman

Yeah, that's right. I went there. I put Igwe in Ralston's role. What are you going to do - tell? It's kinda crazy, I admit, but these are thinning times. We must cut the fat. We cannot simply throw money at the situation, hoping it will get better. We have to discover more forms of reneweable energy. We must lessen our dependency on foreign oil...*

(*Heh. Wrong blog. Sorry.)

Next to last - I promise...

---Reis---
Heaps-Parkhurst-Igwe
Nyassi-Larentowicz-Albright-Joseph-Smith
Dube-Twellman

Why do I like Albright in the middle here? For the very same reason why I like my oatmeal lumpy - I just don't know. There's no supporting evidence that it tastes better lumpy than smooth. Nor is there any proof that Abright, a forward-turned-defender, would rouse the lads to goals unlimited. But, with Igwe on the left, the attack adds another dimension when he, as he so often likes to do, goes forward. In fact, I'll say it for the record - this club is better on the attack* with Igwe on the pitch.

(*I said "on the attack," which is not synonymous with "back defending." Those are two entirely different things.)

Finally...

---Reis---
Albright-Parkhurst-Heaps
Nyassi-Larentowicz-Mansally-Joseph-Smith
Dube-Twellman

Again, it's just another option. Options are usually good - except when they multiply like rabbits and morph into Cheesecake Factory menus. I've never seen Mansally act as an attacking mid - in fact, for this finale, I briefly contemplated placing Khano in the middle, Igwe on the left flank, and Dube paired with Mansally up front. But I thought such an idea was far too groundbreaking for our brains in the year 2008.

If these incredibly hazardous ideas illustrate anything, it's the vast importance of Ralston to this team. All of the above hypotheticals are really just bandages - none of them address the actual wound. But until someone can discover a superfast cloning scheme to bring about a Ralston clone* to pose as a remarkably-healed Ralston- after all, they can't bring in someone new thanks to the roster freeze - this team will be less formidable without the MLS Ironman man they call Steve Ralston.

(*...ah, forget it. Just too many variables. Ethical, moral and legal ramifications. The nature vs. nurture argument. The possibility of another Chuck Norris lookalike when Ralston's clone grows a beard. The list goes on.)

By the way, that high pitched whistling sound, accompanied by sudden crashing noise, you just heard? That was your I.Q. dropping 20 points.




Sorry.


I'll be making my way now...

Wizardry

POOF!

With an obligatory wave of their wand, with a nearly full moon hanging above, the Kansas City Wizards not only pick-pocketed three points from a superior New England Revolution, but also vanquished the MLS Cup fantasies of the playoff-bound club.

Yes, the plucky, 36-point Wiz, through one Hercules Gomez, in one brazen tackle, of one Steve Ralston, who suffered a broken tibia that will likely keep him out of action for the remainder of the regular season and postseason, effectively ended the Revolution dream of another MLS Cup berth this season.

To see hard evidence of this conclusion, look no further than the remaining 78 minutes of the match, whereby the normally potent New England attack looked so sterile that it could have verily become a collective candidate for Cialis, sans the bathtubs overlooking the ocean. And the normally inept Wizards, to their credit, seized the moment and tapped their goalscoring machine, centerback Jimmy Conrad, to provide the clincher moments after the hour.


The aforementioned is but a splice of what the Revolution can expect in the remaining two regular season matches, and the first round of the postseason. With Ralston gone, the local lads have not only lost their skipper, but any shot of returning to the MLS Cup finals for the fourth year in a row.

Without Ralston stationed in the middle, or anywhere on the pitch for that matter, the ball will have a difficult time finding Taylor Twellman, who scored all three of last season's postseason goals. For those who'd like a preview of what the coming matches will look like, just cut and paste a sequence of Twellman's exaggerated frustrations in or near the KC area from Saturday night, and play them on a ninety minute loop. Stagnant would be considered a compliment in describing how the attack will look in the coming weeks without Ralston.

Just look at the Revolution's form earlier this season without their skipper. It went 2-3-1 after Ralston suffered a separated shoulder during the 3-0 victory over Houston on First Kick. Moreover, the Ralston-less squad scored an anemic five goals during those six games. And while Twellman was sidelined with a knee injury during that period as well, it's hard to imagine how many many balls would have gotten to him if he were healthy. For an example of this, see Crew, Columbus, 6 Sept. 2008 - the last time Ralston missed a match with Twellman in the lineup. Final score 0-4, Columbus.

While many bobbleheads around the league will point to Guillermo Barros Schelotto as the favorite to take MVP honors this season, a case for Ralston has been building. Without him, the third-place Revolution have an astounding .250 winning percentage (2-4-2). As of today's date, the lowest winning percentage in MLS is Toronto's .350 percentage (7-11-9). Given those figures, one can easily deduce that the Revolution will find it difficult to convince the rest of the league that it is a bona fide MLS Cup contender without Ralston available.

To say that manager Steve Nicol his work cut out for him would be to say that Amy Winehouse has an affinity for controlled substances. It goes well beyond that. The roster freeze took place nearly a month ago. The Revolution must look in-house to address the short-term future without the man responsible, directly or indirectly, for nearly 40% of his club's total offensive output this season.

The piercing irony of the situation is that if the Revolution play .250 football into the postseason and thereby fall short of the MLS Cup final, it will surely solidify the argument that Ralston is indeed the most valuable player not only on the Revolution, but in MLS as well.

The Tuesday Rant

A few things shaking about my mind this dreary Tuesday morning:

*I love Espnsoccernet. It is crack to the common soccer junkie. The red ballons, purple horseshoes, blue moons to Lucky the Leprechaun, if you will. With the MLS season winding down, this joyous website has become increasingly well-read between case reports and letters at the office. But after viewing non-soccer articles on espn.com that allow for comments, why can't the same be done for all Soccernet articles as well? What, soccer fans don't have an opinion to express? (A soccer fan without an opinion is like hotel heiress without a sex tape). C'mon espn.com - step up!

*The 2007 New England Soccer Hall of Fame induction ceremonies are taking place on November 18th at noon. That's all swell and nice - until you consider that MLS Cup begins at the same exact time. As a supporter of any local grassroots effort to promote the sport, I attended last year's ceremony -a wonderful affair - and wrote a piece on the proceedings for Revsnet.com just to make the organization more visible.

But this year, how do you schedule the ceremony at the exact same time as the MLS Cup, American soccer's highest profile event? I know that the gentlemen on the NESHOF board are well-intentioned, but guys: do you not want media attention for this event? I'd be happy to attend and do a piece on it, but if the Revolution makes it to the MLS Cup Finals, I, as much as any local soccer media member, would be hard-pressed to go and do a piece on it.

To an extent, I blame myself, as I attended NESHOF meetings earlier this year. As the unofficial "MLS liaison” I should have spoken up when these discussions came up. Alas, I didn't (I honestly don't recall if said discussions even came up while I was there). I any event, the reservations are booked, tickets printed, and suits dry cleaned.

*Without college soccer, there's an enormous void within the free hours afforded during my workweek. The early evenings spent at the alma mater to watch the Rhode Island College men’s and women’s teams compete have sadly passed. While it’s hard rival the fervor of watching clubs you actually have a stake in, I have allowed Champions League matches to fill the vacancy. Today, it'll be Liverpool and Besiktas at 2:30pm on espn2, with tomorrow's Manchester United and FC Dynamo Kyiv highlighting the afternoon. Granted, it isn't the same - but it will have to do.

Revolution storm soggy Red Bulls, 1-0; march on to EC Championship

"Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds."

With the remnants of Hurricane Noel bearing down on southeastern New England Saturday night, the aforementioned United States Postal Service motto could have easily applied to the proceedings between the New England Revolution and New York Red Bulls, as the clubs sloshed about the soggy pitch. Yet, it was the Revolution who better weathered the elements to clinch the 1-0 aggregate victory.

After last week’s defensive affair by New England during Game 1 in the Meadowlands, the Revolution reassured the crowd that this was no such match when Avery John pushed forward and fired the first shot of the evening on Red Bull keeper Jon Conway, thus proclaiming the home team’s intentions in only the 6th minute. Minutes later, Steve Ralston cut into the box and laced a shot that just went wide of the far post, putting the Red Bulls on their proverbial hooves by the nine minute mark.

For all the signs of a well-assembled attack on the part of the Revolution, the Red Bulls did not go quietly about their business after Juan Pablo Angel lined up and fired a screamer from 30 yards that flew inches above the bar in the 14th minute.

But the Revolution quickly took the ball back and menaced the Red Bull backline when Pat Noonan chipped a floating pass from the right en route to Taylor Twellman that sailed mere inches too far ahead of Twellman’s neon yellow boot, as the ball bounced past the byline.
As if New England’s attack wasn’t the only issue on the mind of New York manager Bruce Arena, more trouble materialized when Claudio Reyna, who had taken a handful of hard knocks already, had to be substituted for by the 27th minute.

Interestingly enough, it was only minutes later in the 35th minute that the Red Bull attack finally found its footing when they nip/tucked a set of passes that culminated in Jozy Altidore dashing down the right flank before he sent a seeing-eyed pass inside the box into the path of Angel before Jay Heaps snuffed it out at the last millisecond.

Clint Mathis, who had come in for Reyna only ten minutes prior, added to the Red Bull pressure when he took a pass inside the box, nutmegged his defender, cut inside, and pushed a shot that harmlessly bounced off the side of the goal in the 38th minute.

Although the first half concluded with the match still knotted at zero, it surely wasn't due for lack of trying, as both clubs pieced together quality chances. Though the Revolution had put more shots on net (3-1), the total shots taken was about equal (6-4), illustrating both clubs’ fervent desire to acquire the first goal of the series.

With both clubs playing technically sound soccer, it appeared that the deciding factor would boil down to which backline would make the first mistake. The defending had been superb throughout the first, and both clubs played smart, possession soccer.

Carrying over the confidence acquired during their late-first half attack, Dave van der Bergh tarried into the left channel and crossed to Angel, who headed the ball right into Matt Reis’ breadbasket, keeping the match scoreless in the 52nd minute.

However, the resurgent Red Bull attack was brought to an abrupt end in 56th minute, on an innocent looking play when Heaps and Angel challenged for a long ball near midfield. But as Angel came down, his chin connected with Heaps’ knee, causing the Argentine to immediately fall to the pitch in writhing pain. After being down for several minutes, Angel was able to walk back to the bench with some assistance, though his immediate return remained in question, as Arena tried to hold out hope on his star striker’s return.

Taking advantage of New York’s precarious situation, New England took the Red Bulls by the horns, as they sparked up their attack while Angel tried to convince team doctors that he was just fine. However, after it was determined that he had sustained a concussion, Arena had no choice but to pull his primary playmaker and insert John Wolyniec.

But before the substitution could be made, New England capitalized on the temporary man advantage when Shalrie Joseph fed a long pass to Ralston, who split the defenders and broke through the midfield, and as he charged through the box. With a defender closing in and Twellman to his left, the captain send a last-ditch pass to the rain-soaked striker, who deftly chipped it the off of Conway’s hands as it spilled into the corner of the net in the 64th minute.

New York frantically tried to respond quickly by attempting to reignite their offensive spark. But without the services of Angel and the fleet-footed Francis Doe (who was unable to even suit up for the match due to an abdominal injury) the weight of the attack fell on the shoulders of Altidore and Dane Richards, whose star had cooled in the second half.

Any thoughts of a Red Bull comeback eventually dissipated as New York struggled to tailor their offense without Angel. Adding to their frustrations, the Revolution back line held up its end of the bargain by duly cooling any semblance of a late-match offensive. Even with five minutes stoppage added to the clock, New York’s attack sputtered toward the finish line, as New England was able to wrap up the Eastern Conference Semifinal win, 1-0.

Donuts anyone?

Sometimes, it really is better to be lucky than good.

That sentiment proved to be truth when New England Revolution faced off against their Eastern Conference counterparts on Saturday night. For their part, the Revs were offensively overmatched, and painfully lacked the creative flair that the Red Bulls so prominently showcased in front of the Giants Stadium faithful. Lucky for them that, for all of the Red Bull artistry, the home club failed to find the back of the net.

“Lucky” was certainly the operative word for the Revs Saturday night. New England was lucky to have an elite MLS keeper who stopped every laser and point blank shot fired in his direction. Lucky to have a questionable non-call go their way when it appeared Avery John had put one of his mitts on a Dane Richards ball inside the box during stoppage time. Lucky to leave to the Meadowlands with the series still dead even, despite the fact that the attack was essentially ex parte for much of the proceedings.

All luck aside, props must be given to the Red Bulls, who came out energized in the opening minutes, with Francis Doe, Dane Richards and Juan Pablo Angel starring as the offensive catalysts for Bruce Arena & Co. The speedy and elusive Doe dazzled the home crowd with electric moves straight out of the Anklebreakers textbook, giving the Revolution backs much to chew on in the first half.

Holding back a lethal front line of Angel and an emerging Doe was no simple task, and much of the credit must be given to Jay Heaps, Avery John, and Michael Parkhurst, not to mention Matt Reis, who literally saved his club from what appeared to be a sure deficit in this aggregate series.

But while the backline fought like a phalanx of battle-hardened centurions, it was the Revolution strikers who collectively dressed themselves as Jimmy Hoffa four nights prior to All Hallow’s Eve, as they appeared to the first leg of the playoff party conspicuously absent. They failed to match the Red Bulls’ firepower for much of the match, leaving the onus of keeping the score close squarely on the defenders. Although brief spurts of offense emerged near the hour mark, the fact that the first Revolution shot on goal didn’t occur until the 56^th minute is quite telling of the club’s offensive ineptitude Saturday night.

Matters surely weren’t helped with Andy Dorman chained to the bench for the entire match, as the explosive Red Bull attack showed no signs of letting off the accelerator. Having recognized this, Nicol deferred to James Riley late, rather than Dorman, in order to preserve the match at nil-nil.

So where does this place the Revs come Saturday night? The defending valiantly proved its postseason mettle, and the shots that did get through were duly blocked – often in breathtaking fashion – by Reis, the consummate MLS playoff keeper. The club's leaders would be wise to allocate an extra playoff share or two for him in light of his all-world performance.

Defending aside, the Revolution must challenge the Red Bulls with far greater frequency – and potency – than they did over the weekend. Pat Noonan has eleven career goals against New York, and Taylor Twellman’s track record against their I-95 foes is also remarkable as well (10 goals). The attack was often unimaginative and stale, due in large part to a formation that puts Ralston in the middle rather than the right, where his remarkable crosses have been greatly missed. With him in the middle, the offense itself is often bland, as evidenced by five consecutive matches wherein the Revs have failed to simply muster more than two goals. Not coincidentally, the last time the Revolution overwhelmed their opponents was on September 15^th against FC Dallas – a game in which Dorman started. The excuse that low-scoring affairs are characteristic of playoff soccer holds less water than a desert dam when two of the league’s best forward tandems reside in your starting eleven.

Nicol’s endeavor into the Ralston-in-the-middle-experiment has garnered less than lukewarm results. Quite simply, the Revolution skipper is not the man best suited for attacking mid slot that the exiled Dorman had performed so well in earlier this season. Of course, the dreaded “c” word lingers above the lanky mid – “consistency”, or in his case, lack thereof. To remedy this, Nicol must find a way to get his regular attacking midfielder back on track. How does he go about doing this? A start against a club that Dorman has enjoyed success against may just do the trick.

That being said, the Revolution need to come onto the pitch with all of its working pieces in place. Ralston on the right, Dorman in the middle, and Thompson coming off the bench should the need arise. Otherwise, an encore of last Saturday night may ensue come this Saturday at Gillette Stadium, where all of the weight of playoff drama may once again fall back onto the shoulders of Heaps, Parkhurst, John and Reis – all of whom may not be able to once again withstand another prolonged Red Bull assault.

The (groggy and discombobulated) Friday morning rant

A few lingering thoughts from last night as I took the elevator to the second floor this morning:

1. After flipping to the DC United-Chicago Fire in between innings of Game 2 of the World Series, I'll know when MLS becomes big when the MLS playoffs are sponsored by the motion picture American Gangster.

2. As goofy as he can sometimes be (I'm still laughing about his "streetfight" comment during the Columbus-New England Thursday night match back in May), I love Rob Stone. Because while Red Sox Nation is drenched in "Soxtober", the unintentionally funny Stone phrased a term of his own for the MLS playoffs: "Socctober." Kinda corny, but I'll roll with it.

Additionally, I like how Stone opened up the pre-game, stating that MLS does not need a single-table format, a la EPL, La Liga, and just about every major European league in the world. I wholeheartedly agree. I love all kinds of soccer, including many leagues in which I may never see first-hand ever in my life (unless business calls me to Turkey, so I can catch my favorite Turkcell Super Lig club, Fenerbahce). But for my money, and time, MLS takes the cake for me. Sure, improvements can be made, but many of those should remain loyal to the American style of sport, like having playoffs, the biggest showcase for any sport.

3. I had a horrible dream last night about the first leg of the NY-NE first round matchup that can be summed up in three words and three numbers: Red Bull 4, Revolution 0, 13th minute.

4. Speaking of tomorrow's Revs-Red Bull match, I'd like to thank MLS for having it broadcast on Fox Soccer Channel, which to this day, is only available on digital cable here in RI. Of course, with the Sox and Rockies starting a little after 8pm, the second half of the match may be spent with me feverishly flipping back and forth between channels at residence to be named later.

5. In light of Stephen Colbert's recent announcement in his bid for the White House in 2008, I would like to propose that, should a catastrophic event prevent such a sure thing, Mr. Colbert seek the MLS Commissioner's throne. No offense to Don Garber - he's doing a splendid job, and I say that without reservation - but it's my belief that the League could use some bears on the sidelines. And monkeys. And chimpanzees. You know, for the kids.

6. I still can't believe that the collegiate season's coming to an end in the next week or so. The thought that my workweek and Saturday afternoon lifeblood will soon dry brings a figurative tear to my eye. No more Anchormen/women soccer? What'll I do when it's over? Start my Christmas shopping?

7. Good luck to the Anchorwomen this weekend in the quaint town of Gorham, ME, just west of Portland. With a win there against University of Southern Maine, RIC will have clinched not only a first-round bye in the LEC playoffs, but a semi-final home game on November 2nd. Go Anchorwomen!

Are the wheels coming off the Revolution wagon?

Make no mistake: the Revolution before us has become a hollow husk of its early season self. Forget the stats and results. The most telling sign of the argument is this: come match time of the regular season finale Saturday afternoon, the Revs second-leading scorer may once again be relegated to bench duty.

Why? Because that’s precisely where Andy Dorman began the last two matches. Granted, the attacking midfielder hasn't been the dazzling, red-hot form that saw him clinch seven goals in the first fifteen games of the season. But then again, like all soccer players, he hit a bit of a lull, and before his sails could feel the strong breeze necessary to push him back on track, manager Steve Nicol benched one of his primary goal scorers. But why?

Perhaps the answer may, in part, lie in the defensive struggles of a team that has allowed more decisive late-match goals than it would care to. Though the Revs still sit close enough to the head table to allow themselves a playoff run, the fact remains that the club will go nowhere fast with a back line that has allowed crucial late-game goals in three of its last four MLS matches. Adding to this concern is that starter Avery John has been sidelined with a left knee strain that has kept him out of action since September 29th match against Colorado.

In an attempt to shore up a back line that has deserted its stellar 2006 form, Nicol has recently tinkered with his starting eleven like a mad scientist. Last Saturday, he dropped winger Steve Ralston to the back, moved Wells Thompson into the starter's role at right wing, and employed a defensive 4-4-2 rather than the preferred 3-5-2. With the emphasis on defending, a playmaker like Dorman gets lost in the shuffle, and by extension, the offense as whole suffers. The numbers don't lie - against such “formidable” opponents like Columbus (31 points), Colorado (38 points), and Chicago (42 points), the Revs have averaged a whopping 1.33 goals per game. Despite the changes, the defense hasn't exactly shined, either. During the same set of opponents, they've allowed decisive goals in the same stretch after the 60th minute against Chicago and Columbus.

To his credit, Nicol has tried to address the troubling situation before the MLS playoffs commence. Serbian defender Dusan Petrovic was brought in to help stop the bleeding, but the deal collapsed faster than his fall on the Payson Park practice pitch when he suffered a knee injury in September. With the MLS roster freeze having since expired, Nicol has resorted to shuffling the cards already dealt But in doing so, he's sacrificed the potency of the attack, as Ralston and Dorman find themselves in roles they're largely unaccustomed.

It's curious as to why Nicol would simply realign and move players like chess pieces when fresh defenders are at his disposal. Kyle Helton, Marshall Leonard, Gary Flood, and Amaechi Igwe are not only healthy, but have shown themselves capable in reserve league action. In fact, Leonard would seem to be the perfect fit to take John's left back position, since the versatile fifth-year veteran can play on both sides. Strangely, Leonard has yet to record a single minute of first team action this season, despite the club's defensive woes.

Of course, going into Toronto and facing a club they've thumped to the tune of seven combined goals to none may just be the cure to what ails both the offensive and defensive ends of the spectrum. However, should the Revs come up short to another less-talented squad, it could reveal even more uncertainty about the club going into the playoffs.