Saturday, March 21, 2009

Revs-Earthquakes Live blog

Spur of the moment decision. Here's a live blog for your bad (or good) self...

Okay, so it's raining, and my Cox 3 feed is contributing some snow...ugh.

10:38am - And we're off...San Jose kicks off. The 2009 MLS season commences for the Revs (and San Jose). Both teams in a 4-4-2.

2' - Buck Shaw Stadium - good crowd noise, high school football stadium atmoopshere. One out of two ain't bad.

5' - Wells Thompson feeds a nice ball to Kheli Dube, who fires it off the hand of Joe Cannon. CK Revs.

6' - Shalrie Joseph with a nice chance on goal off the head, but Cannon's there.

8' - Obligatory Jay Heaps praise poured on by Greg Lalas.

9' - Even though I just knocked Buck Shaw for being kinda minor league-ish, I'd imagine it's a great place to watch a soccer game. Crowd's pretty spirited. Feel free to send airline ticket offers in the comment box.

10' - Quakes attack, but Darrius Barnes and Heaps snuff it out. I'm a big fan of Barnes, simply because no one but Steve Nicol gave him a shot to make the club.

12' - Both clubs still looking to wet their beaks. Not feet. Beaks. Yes, I was just watching The Godfather II.

13' - Wait...is Barnes is preggers? Oh wait, he's just drying the ball. My b....and holy crap, that kid can fire a throw-in. Good thing it wasn't a baby.

14' - Whoa, Kheli Dube seems to have abandoned the mini-dreds from last season. He's sporting a very closely-cropped cut. Looks good.

16' - Though sixteen minutes, Kevin Alston is showing why he warranted a first round selection. This kid's going to Oneonta. You heard it here first.

17' - Larentowicz upended by Weaver. Good tackle.

18' - Second CK for the Revs. Nyassi's taking it from the right. Inswinger...San Jose heads it away.

19' - Nice shot, Cam Weaver. Brilliant finish.

20' - OUCH. Ramon Corrales takes one off the kisser. God I hate when that happens. Dude's head probably feels like a bulging watermelon. Seriously, that's what it feels like. It feels like your head's a pulsating watermelon.

22' - Revs putting something together....can they sustain it? Can they hit cherry cherry cherry?

23' - No. Goalkick for Joe Cannon.

24' - Quote of the match from Greg Lalas regarding Dube's mid-season injury, and his slowing a recovery: "You know that's when the Revs needed him not to struggle." Because, you know, there are times when they needed him to struggle. Like, maybe the match before the All-Star Game. Or a random U.S. Open Cup match.

26' - Arturo Alvarez just slaloms though the defense and nearly feeds Huckerby a sure goal, but fails to convert.

28' - Another Lalas gem: "Chase that lost cause." Meanwhile, Huckerby nearly sets the table for Ryan Johnson, but the ball skips away.

29' - Quakes earn a corner. Johnson threatens with a header that squeaks over the bar. Quakes beginning to dictate the match just at the half hour.

30' - Weaver's finishing has just improved remarkably, but the shot goes off the bar while collecting Alvarez's rebound. Should be 1-0 San Jose. It isn't. Fewf.

31' - Reis collects Quake corner. Revs need to regroup...fast.

11:11pm ET - *Make a wish* I wish that Michael Parkhurst was suddenly loaned back to the Revolution.

35' - Heaps with a free kick from distance. Taken in vain.

37' - Ball back in the Quakes' end. Boy am I glad those three whole preseason matches worked out the kinks! I was worried a little bit.

39' - CK SJ taken by AA (Arturo Alvarez). Chris Leitch open. And Chris Leitch can't convert.

42' - Larentowicz free kick from distance. No dice.

42' - Seconds later, Joseph gets the ball, tries a shot, deflection goes toward Thompson, but can't finish. Good opportunity for the Revs.

43' - What??? Joseph flicks a quick free kick, and somehow, outside of the camera, Thompson nearly sneaks a ball over Cannon. I have no idea how that happened. It was like it happened in a void.

45' - One minute of stoppage. J/K!!! It lasts just 20 seconds.

HALFTIME*

(*Man, this snowy screen is wreaking havoc on my vision. Imagine having to watch a soccer on a 1978 Magnavox with broken bunny ears. And then having to accurately blog on it. Two words: Bull. Spit.)

Oh. No. Not this commercial.

That's it. This snow sucks. I'm MLSnet.com Match Centering this bad boy. $19.95 well-spent. Until...

NOT. AGAIN.

11:39 ET Revs kick off for Half Two. Wow, the feed is incredible. Best twnty buck's I've spent since...since...I spent the same amount for last year's league pass.

46' - Rain's apparently subsided.

48' - Spoke to soon. It's a science.

49' - CK for SJ. AA. Outswinger out of the reach of everyone

50' - CK # 5, SJ. Matt Reis looks like he's thinking of a good joke.

51' - All San Jose.

54' - CK SJ. Nice corner, Huck. Really?

55' - Counterattack Revs. Larentowicz sends a ball that bounces off of Kelly Gray's head and falls to Dube. Dube...WITH THE FINISH. ALERT! ALERT! KHELI DUBE IS DOING HIS GOAL DANCE. DUBE. GOAL DANCE. 1-0, Revs. Just like that.

58' - Convey, in space, Huckerby. Revs clear it out. Quakes corner.

59' - Kenny Mansally clears it out. Another SJ CK.

60' - If this were a boxing match, the judges would have awarded the Quakes the first 7 or so rounds. Luckily, this isn't boxing, and the Rules of Queensbury are not honored in MLS.

63' - Near fatal error by the Revs, leaves Huckerby with an untended net ahead of him. Revs scamper to snuff the shot.

65' - Mansally well offside. Still have trouble believing the Revs are actually winning this thing.

66' - Quincy Amarikwa skips one wide. He's an amateur magician, according to the SJ feed. "We'd like to see him pull one out of his hat, now wouldn't we?" Um, no.

68' - Second magician reference. Note to announcers: magicians have nothing to do with soccer. And vice versa.

70' - Revs controlling. Mansally's well-off target with his service. Goal kick, SJ.

71' - What's this? A Revs CK? NO WAI!!!

71' - Horrible corner from Nyassi. Thing swerved completely away from a single live body.

71' - Amarikwa takes a nice cross from Salinas, but the volley escapes wide. I guess you could say Amarikwa's opportunity went...poof? LOL!

75' - Alston gets his "welcome to the league" moment when he orders a knee sandwich near midfield. Seems to be OK.

76' - Huckerby dances. Dances. Shoots. Deflection. All dancing, no scoring. Sounds like a typical Saturday night for yours truly.

78' - CK NE. What the heck is Shalrie doing on the flank???

79' -Mansally with the corner. Eaten up by the Quakes.

80' - Nyassi brushes up on the theatrics, and gets SJ a yellow.

81' - Larentowicz free kick skips wide of the post.

83' - San Jose have now used all three subs. The Revs starting XI still intact.

84' - San Jose CK # 739. Huckerby with the shot. Miss. If there is a man in San Jose more frustrated than Darren Huckerby tonight, please, get him some Cialis.

86' - Pablo Campos with a prime opportunity. Heads the ball wide. Jeez, how unlucky can one team be? Wow. Just wow.

89' - Amaechi Igwe on for the Revs, replaces Alston. Speedy Gen adidas back for another speedy Gen adidas back.

90' - Joe Cannon nearly gives it away to the Revs just before the line.

12:24 ET Three minutes of stoppage.

92+' - Quakes pressuring, as usual. Reis smothers it. Nice tackle, for Barnes. A near brawl ensures in the Revolution box. No call.

93'+ - San Jose thows it in from the right. Campos head the ball skyward.

94' + - CK SJ. Cleared away.

12:28 ET - Final whistle. New England escapes with three points. Chants of "REFS-SUCK, REFS-SUCK!" echo onto the pitch. They - the Revs - should be thanking the Deity that they didn't receive what should have been an embarrassing - OMG! WHAT THE HECK is that thing walking by Joe Cannon in the post-match presser?!?

Three penny analysis: Revs never even came close to controlling this match. A jump-start counterattack proved to be the decider. To paraphrase a famous line from Super Bowl XIII: "Oh, bless the Quakes' hearts! They have to be the sickest soccer club in America."

38 comments:

Jason D said...

I'm watching this on mlsnet, and it's the San Jose feed. Not digging the commentary.

BrianTheOC said...

Me neither. "Kheli Du-BAY from Zimbab-WAY." Eghhhhhh....

Jason D said...

Am I the only one getting flashbacks of that video where the guy in the funny hat dances around the rotating room every time Amarikwa gets his name mentioned?

BrianTheOC said...

Nope. For that reason alone, Quincy Amarikwa deserves MLS stardom.

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