Not to be confused with...

Don't worry. This blog is not "very bad for you."

Nor is it "mind blowingly inappropriate." Or "OMFG!"

And it is definitely not "every parent's worst nightmare."

There, I said it. My attempts at making this blog appear sexy have utterly failed.

For those of you who don't get those quotes, it's from the new radio spots for the C-Dub's Gossip Girl.

Now, I've never seen Gossip Girl. But I'm intrigued to discover what "every parent's worst nightmare is", besides, you know, finding out your pre-adolscent son is a meth addict. Or that your teenage daughter's selling herself downcity. I would imagine those are actual parental nightmares, rather than a 'tweener drama on CW.

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But this has me thinking: what if there were similar advertising campaigns in MLS? Would people be curious enough to see whether Pablo Mastroeni is "every parent's worst nightmare"? How about if the Revolution changed their motto from "Pride and Passion" to "OMFG!"? Do you think that attendance would increase league-wide?

Probably not. But I think it would be hilarious to see.

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I almost forgot my point. Sorry. I tend to do that sometimes.

ANYWAY, I was thinking how many attractive women I encountered at Saturday's L.A. Galaxy game. We all know why. It's Landycake's massive thighs. Damn him.

I've always been of the mind that the Revolution should recruit a cheerleader squad for its home matches. Believe me: I've thought this through. I'm aware of the cultural and subcultural implications. It would work. Look no further than Chivas Girls, the Mexican Soccer League, and Chivas Girls. They haven't exactly been booed off the pitch, now have they? I didn't think so.

But here's my suggestion. A little tweaky tweak, if you will. Instead of cheerleaders, the Revs should recruit song girls, a la the University of Southern California football team. The wholesome, girl-next-door approach never fails, despite what the marketing geniuses behind the Gossip Girl advert will tell you (which, by theway, some critics say that the campaign reeks for desparation. No, not that kind of desparation.)

So who's against some cute chicks in skintight sweaters and traditional cheer skirts belting out "REV-O-LOO-SHUN!" or "TAY-LOR TWELL-MAN!"?

Besides...it's not like it's bad for you.