Excuses, excuses

I never thought I'd ever say this on a soccer blog, but thank God for the Boston Bruins.

Ok, so maybe I'm not saying it in the context to which I am wholeheartedly appreciative of the beloved Bruins. Don't get me wrong - Patrice Bergeron (get well soon), Tim Thomas, Marc Savard, and Glen Murray all have little planets named after them in my sports universe. When the TV is devoid of Red Sox, Patriots, Revolution, Benfica, EPL, NFL, Celtics, College football, and yes, even college hockey, I gleefully turn to the Bruins.

But this mild autumn morning, I have an even better reason to give thanks. For tonight, they have afforded me a wonderful alibi to which I was greatly given a half day at work.

"Oh, I'm going up to Boston to catch the B's game up at the Gahden." It’s an easy, carefree, no-further-questions-needed response.

Yet, why would I say such a thing when I’m unequivocally headed in almost the opposite direction? Instead of heading due northeast up I-95 to I-93 to the Hub of Hockey, I'll be heading southwest to Danbury, CT to watch the Rhode Island College Anchorwomen play top-seeded Western Connecticut in the Hub of...nevermind.

You may ask, "Why mask your intentions? Why not just state your true endeavor?"

Well, I don't know about you, but around these parts, a guy taking for a half day to watch a women's college soccer game around here is like a guy asking his buddy to spot him for a Midori Sour at the bar. You're just going to get alot of blank stares, ballbusting, and tart remarks about your seemingly juxtaposed priorities. It's not to say that I'm not proud of my favorite college soccer squad - indeed I am, and wouldn't be making the 149.73 mile journey if I wasn't. But to be absolutely blunt, I'm just too lazy to endure the ensuing workplace ridicule that would surely come if my actual plans were revealed. Besides, I'm using a vacation day - I don't have to reveal my plans. I could very easily attend to my llama farm without so much as a "Peace out!" at 12:30pm. The reason is completely irrelevant. So what harm is there is smudging the facts a bit when said facts aren't necessary?

So to the Bruins, I salute you. I wish you the best of luck during your young season, to which your 6-4-0 record speaks of wonderful promise for the 2007-08 NHL season. Thank you for choosing this date months in advance, when the scheduling gods affixed you and your opponent, the Buffalo Sabres, to the TD Bankborth Garden on this first of the month. Thanks as well for consummating the affair at 7:00pm, which works perfectly into the thread of alternate reality I have so whimsically dispensed to my peers. Good luck against the Sabres, a traditional Northeast Division foe, and I hope your sure-fire winning results pervade all the way down the I-95 corridor and into to Danbury, where it will rub off on my dear alma mater's women's soccer team.

Thank you, Boston Bruins. Someday, I'll really use half of a vacation day to make the trip up to the Hub of Hockey.