Wednesday, March 07, 2007

The Mystery of Rui Fortes...SOLVED

It was reported a few odd weeks ago that former Rhode Island Stingrays midfielder Rui Fortes was given a trial with the Los Angeles Galaxy after surviving an invitiation-only tryout hosted by the club back in February. From what's been disseminated by MLS talking heads and media alike, he's seen action in at least one game, but beyond that...nothing else.

He's not listed on the Gals' roster, nor is there any mention of a release or wave goodbye. So with this information one can naturally assume the following:

1. He's still toiling in anonymity as a trial player.

2. He's been subsquently released.

3. He's changed his name to Rui Costa and joined SL Benfica

4. He discovered the dirty secret about the substance holding together David Beckham's hairdo, was repeatedly pistol-whipped, given hush money and now "lives" in a San Bernadino trailer park and goes by the name Jim Druckenmiller.

After an exhaustive investigation, I've whiddled out the last two theories, which leaves us with two options: he's either with the club, or he's been let go. One would figure this would be an easy situation to figure out. Hell, it ain't multiple choice (thank God) , but one does have to wonder where the Pawtucket native currently kicks around the soccer balls. Since the LA Galaxy site is about as updated as the playlist on a classic rock radio station, some crack research on a 37 cent budget is in order.

An interesting tidbit uncovered during my research: reports that the participants of last month's Galaxy tryout each paid a $130 fee to be invited. Nothing like shutting out a talented, less fortunate player and in turn essentially taking bribes from players for them to even be considered. No money = no chance. I suppose the club had to pay Becks' somehow...

Anyway, though my list of "insiders" is about as long as a Johnny Damon throw from center, I did will do what I can, speak to some "associates", send various quantities of pilfered cigarettes and scratch tickets to the appropriate persons, and will try and solve this mystery of...Rui Fortes.

UPDATE: Acoording to LA Soccer News has reported that our Portugese Rudy has been cut by the Gals. Sniff, sniff.

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